Canon Fodder

CHAPTER 244 INTRUDERS

The Kage summit was being held in the Land of Iron. Almost straight North from Konoha it would have been 3 days travel for regular ninjas simply running. But because the Hokage was going with, many nobles wanted to go as well. We were soon in a long train of carts and caravans as we made our way North. 

As a Chunin, I was expected to help protect everyone. Naruto was the lucky bastard in all this. Off to train in the Land of Frogs, he got a nice arc away from the hubbub as Sakura, Kakashi, and I patrolled around the caravan at all hours of the day. 

Team 8 was there as well, but Hinata hadn’t given me the time of day. I left her to it. I caught her looking at me now and then, but I had done enough talking. If she wanted to move past then she had to be the one to talk. Whether she wanted to end it or keep it going was up to her. I didn’t want her to end it, but I had other people to focus on. 

Mainly Mei Terumi, the Mizukage. I had left her a note over a year ago saying I had to take care of personal business. I had promised to get in touch, but never had the opportunity. After the Land of the Sea Turtles I had been running from one issue after another. I had to do my best to figure out what she wanted. I hoped to keep our relationship going, but she was one of the strongest people in the world. Mei very well could try to kill me. But I had a quest, so I would see it through. 

I had thought I already had a smooth tongue, but I guessed not. Either way it was worth having. I doubted I would use my Bonus Challenger Slot on it, but this was a minor event in the scheme of things. Naruto was supposed to go, and I was pretty sure there was Sasuke drama. We would see if me having Danzo killed changed anything. I kind of doubted it though. Sasuke was so far up his own ass he fought everyone around him that was trying to help while he tried to pull his head out. 

“Anything?” Sakura asked as she ran up to me. 

“For the 10,000th time, Sakura. I did not see anyone. No one attacked me. I am not an enemy clone. And this is the stupidest fucking job in the history of jobs,” I said. 

“Jeez, you sound like Naruto,” she said with a slight smile. 

“Don’t say that,” I said pointing a finger at her. “Don’t ever say that.” 

“Now I just want to say it more,” she said with a laugh. 

“Don’t be cute, it’s not you,” I said. 

“What? I can be cute,” she said defensively as we headed back toward the line. 

“No you can’t. You’ve got to be all, Sasuke where are you? Sasuke come warm me up at night? Sasuke, Sasuke-” She punched at me but I ducked down. Laughing as I moved further away. “That’s you.”

“That’s not me,” she grumbled, her fist in front of her. “I’ll have you know, there is much more to me than that.” 

“Like what?” I asked, bored enough to talk to her. 

“Like…I am Tsunade’s student,” she said. 

“Oh yes, if there is anyone that is good at pining over impossible men, it’s Tsunade,” I said, rolling my eyes. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” She asked, annoyed. 

“I mean…” I let out a sigh. “I don’t know what I mean. Forget it.” 

“I’m serious, what are you talking about?” Sakura asked.

I studied her for a moment, but decided it wouldn’t hurt anything. “I mean the Hokage has a history of going after men that aren’t available. There was one, he wanted to be Hokage. He died soon after they started dating or something. Orochimaru was another. But he was so obsessed with uncovering secrets he wouldn’t have cared if she threw herself at him naked.”

“That’s a mean thing to say about the Hokage,” Sakura said. 

“I am telling it like it is,” I said. “Probably wouldn’t have said anything if you weren’t her student, so don’t go blabbing.” 

“I wouldn’t,” she whispered. 

“Good. The lady-Hokage is the best one we could hope for. But don’t go asking her for love advice,” I said. 

“Who should I ask? You?” She asked with a laugh.

“Hell no,” I said. “I’m the worst at those kinds of things.”

“Really? I heard you were quite the ladies man,” Sakura teased. 

“Oh yeah? Who’s saying that?” I asked, finally intrigued. 

“People,” she said. 

“Hey, I answered your question.”

“Fine, I’ve heard you’re quite handsy with your maids. People have seen you around town with them.”

“I have spent only a few days home since I got back from my long mission,” I said. 

“I’m just telling you what I heard. So what? It’s not true?” 

“Oh no, it’s true. I’m very…acquainted with my maids. And a few other girls,” I said, flashing her my best smile. 

“You can’t be serious,” she said, her face turning red from embarrassment. 

“What?”

“You are dating your maids?” She asked, unable to process the information. 

“Well I don’t think we’ve made it anything formal like that,” I said. “I mean we sleep in the same bed and have a boat load of sex an-“

“Lalala I don’t want to hear this,” she said quickly as she closed her ears and rushed to get away. 

“Reina is especially fiery,” I continued as we moved through the brush. “I thought I was a horndog. She’s just as bad. Before she let me go on this trip I had to-“ 

I stopped as we came out to see 2 ninjas I didn’t recognize. That wasn’t unheard of but they were black, and had headbands that had the symbol for the Village Hidden in the Clouds. A female with dark black hair, the guy next to her had straight white hair. 

“How can I help you?” I asked. The caravan shouldn’t have been too far away behind us. I was surprised that 2 ninjas from another village had made it so far in.

“Weston, I recognize you from when you were in the village a little while ago,” the woman said. She had a katana at her side. Her nostrils flaring I readied in case I had to defend myself. Ninjas from other villages usually didn’t meet one another as friends. 

“Yes, and you’re Karui,” I said. She had been part of the Raikage’s entourage when I warned them about Akatsuki.  

“I’m doing this as a courtesy to you.” Her gaze turned to Sakura. “We heard you were involved with Sasuke Uchiha.”

“He was a part of my team. Why, what’s wrong?” Sakura asked. 

“The Uchiha kidnapped our trainer. Killer B,” the man said. Rage was apparent in his body language and Spiritual Energy. I was ready to step in if things got ugly. I was starting to remember this part. “I want to know what you know of the last Uchiha.”

It was weird to think of Sasuke as that. Like he was the last of the Mohicans or something. The rumor had spread that he killed his brother a little while ago. After killing Orochimaru the death of Itachi soon followed. Officially making Sasuke the last known Uchiha alive. 

“I don’t know anything,” Sakura said quickly. “We haven’t seen him in weeks. And before that. Not for years.”

“Killer B-” the man said, holding back anger. 

“Isn’t dead,” I said, cutting in. “Was Sasuke wearing a black robe with red clouds when he took him?”

“He was,” Karui said quickly. 

“If Akatsuki actually had Killer B. And that’s a big if. They would keep him alive for days to extract the tailed beast from him.”

“Really?!” The man asked. Hope in his voice. 

“Yes. But from what I’ve heard of Killer B. Do you really think he was captured?” I asked. 

“What do you mean? I saw his body get taken.”

I meant that I’d read the manga and Killer B was the only one smart enough to trick everyone into thinking he was dead. “I mean that Killer B, of any of the Jinchurikis, might have been able to give them the slip. He’s the Raikages brother, right? I warned the Raikage what Akatsuki was after him. Maybe Killer B used this chance to disappear.”

“Why would he do that?”

“Well I know if I had a secret organization after my head, I’d want to disappear. Also I’ve heard that he doesn’t like being a ninja. Doesn’t he sing or something?”

“He has always talked about leaving to start his rapping career,” Karui said. The 2 ninjas shared a look. An idea shared between the 2 of them they turned and ran off. “Thanks!” 

“You’re welcome,” I said as they disappeared. I turned to Sakura. 

“How do you do that?” She asked, genuinely surprised. 

“What?” 

“Have all the answers? I swear, whenever someone comes to you with a question you have some answer ready for them. Hell I went to you when Sasuke ran away.”

“I thought you said he was kidnapped,” I replied. 

“He wasn’t freakin kidnapped, we both know that,” she said with a sneer. “And look what he’s doing now. Is he really working for Akatsuki?”

“Probably,” I said. I could tell that the news hurt Sakura. “We could fool around. Make him jealous.”

“What?!” She yelled. 

“What? He’s obviously just doing this for attention. He’s trying to impress you. We start a rumor that you’ve moved on. He will probably come running.”

“That wouldn’t happen…would it?”

“Fuck no,” I said. “I can’t let people think I’m with a flat chested broad like you. I like meat on my girl’s bones. Have you seen Reina? She’s got huge-“ I ducked down, dodging another punch. 

“That’s it. Yeah I’m starting to understand your fighting style,” I said as I dodged 3 more punches. “You release chakra at the point of impact but then keep it going.”

“How do you know?” She asked, halting her advance. 

“I can see it. Why do you think I’ve been making you angry? It’s so I can get a better idea how to fight with chakra,” I said. “Throw a few more.”

“No,” she said, turning around. 

“Even your butt is flat. I thought you were strong. Shouldn’t you have like a muscular butt? I mean Hinata, there’s a woman.” I smiled wide as she turned around. Rage in her eyes it wasn’t long until I was dodging more hits. Watching her use chakra in her arms and fists it really was useful to understand how to better achieve that ultimate punch. 

I smacked her ass as I moved past her. “Maybe Sasuke has a thing for girls that can actually throw a punch.” She roared, attacking again. I smacked her hands away as she tried to hit me. So much chakra in her fists even I was getting scared.  

“What the hell are you 2 doing?!” Kakashi barked as he landed between us. 

“Training,” I said quickly. He eyed Sakura who didn’t deny it. 

“Well it’s time for another debriefing. We are getting close to the Land of Iron,” the tall man said. 

Sakura and I were soon walking behind him. Following him like the obedient students we were back to the grind. I was sure I could trick her into some more fighting. Sakura was easy to rile up.