Canon Fodder

CHAPTER 229 FRONTAL ASSAULT

I came out of the cave to find the others holding back the giant kids. They were foaming at the mouth trying to get outside. 

“What’s going on?!” I asked as I rushed forward.

“The kids started yelling about their medicine. Some kind of candy,” Chopper said. “I’m guessing it’s addictive.”

“Crap,” I said, pulling out my Chikyugi Necklace. One of the kids looked at it but nothing happened. “Ah, fucking no Lust,” I said as I put it away. Either that or I didn’t understand the chakra well enough to use it. 

I began running to the kids, touching their heads one by one as I put them all to sleep with Genjutsu. More sure with the body I was able to jump up and touch the giant kid’s heads as well. They were all soon dropping to the ground. 

“They will be out for a while,” I said. “We should get going though.” 

“What about the kids?” Chopper asked. 

“We need everyone to fight,” I said. I turned to Brownbeard. “You, you need to stay and watch over these kids.” 

“What? Why me?” He asked. “I have friends out there. My crewmates, and you want the Master.” 

“The Master-Fart is lying to you. He doesn’t give a shit about you or your people. He only cares about his research. He was experimenting on kids. Do you have any idea what kind of sicko does that?! You really think he cares about you pirates?” That shut the guy up. “Listen, watch the kids for a couple of hours. They’ll be asleep the whole time. If we could get Trafalgar on our side he might be able to do something.” 

“How can he help?” Chopper asked, intrigued. 

“The guy literally cured himself of an incurable disease somehow. I think he could handle this,” I said. Nami and Robin finally came out of the cavern. They looked a little flushed but I ignored them. Nami stopped being as hard so my bulge was less noticeable. My real problem was I had no idea how to fight in this body. 

Bringing up my chakra I had a fair amount. Maybe a tenth of what my normal body had. That was to be expected since I had so many quests rewarding me with chakra. I also had my Nen though. I pulled it out to my fist. The Nen felt different somehow. Almost…fluid. Nami’s Nen was that of a transmuter. She could change it. If there was one thing I knew it was water. 

Sitting down I moved into Kame Mode. Focusing on the water around me it took much longer than normal. The cold and passive water all around me at all times it calmed me down to feel it calling to me. I took a deep breath and felt the energy rush into me. Channeling Nen while it filled me I tried to replicate the feeling. 

The nen around my hand began to condense as it transformed slowly into that of water. Normally I would think it was odd, but I had been doing it for years with my chakra. It was almost second nature to be able to control water. My nen continued to condense until it made a ball of water focused on my fist. 

“What the hell did you do?” Weston asked. 

“I transmuted your Nen,” I said. “I can’t do anything with it though,” I said as I tried to move it from my fist. When I did it dropped from my fist, forming a small puddle on the ground. “Guess I gotta stick to normal attacks.” 

“So cool, can I do that?” My body asked. Her eyes wide, I shrugged. 

“Yeah, I just know water really well,” I said. “We are going to go fight, so I’d get used to my body while you can.”

“I’m afraid to do anything. It takes so much focus to not…” 

“Pop a boner?” I asked. She nodded, blushing. “Just stick to simple stuff. My body is strong. You can probably make shadow clones to fight for you. They won’t have that issue.” 

“Good idea,” she said. Making the hand seal 2 clones of her real body appeared. “Wow, you have a lot of chakra.” 

“You can make clones now!?” Luffy yelled. 

“Yeah, I’m in his body,” Nami said. She had tried making them before, but only succeeded slightly. It was easy to see she wasn’t directing the flow of chakra well enough. In my body she had a lot more chakra to waste. Instead of clones of me, clones of Nami appeared. Her 2 female clones were wearing what my body was, but they began working off of her orders. 

“Alright, everyone ready?” I asked as I looked around. 

“I think so. Zoro, Sanji, and Usopp went to go get Franky and Brook. They said they’d meet us where we exited,” Chopper said. 

“You heard him, captain. Give the order,” I said. 

“Yosh, let’s storm the castle,” Luffy said as he punched his knuckles together. 

—

Luffy’s huge fist punched through the large metal doors, knocking them in as an alarm began to blare from the inside. Me and the other Straw Hats stormed in. We stuck together as we headed inside. A guard stepping out he didn’t have a chance to do anything before Luffy had punched him from afar with his rubber fist. 

I was quickly becoming used to the body. Since all beings had spiritual energy I had tapped into Nami’s much weaker amount. About as much as I had before my Haki was upgraded to Conqueror’s Haki, I was able to use Observation Haki a few feet around me. Nami was constantly cursing beside me. 

“What’s wrong now?” 

“Your fucking dick,” she hissed. “Every time I stop thinking about it. The chakra flows back to it.” 

“Can’t keep it off your mind?” I asked.

“I’m going to let myself get punched in the nuts,” she hissed.

“Try it, trust me, not near as fun happening to you,” I said. 

“Big door,” Luffy said. “Gotta be important.” 

“Let’s try it,” I said as he drew his arm back and punched through it once more. Inside we found another caged cell. This time there were a lot of gruff marines inside. My favorite one in fact. 

“Smoker, fancy meeting you here,” I said as I eyed the man. He didn’t have his distinct cigar in his mouth. 

“Weston, I’ll kill you,” his sidekick growled. The woman was smoking the cigar. My brain did a somersault, putting it together quickly. 

“Ha! You got your bodies switched too,” I said to the woman, her shirt was open like Smoker usually wore it. Sitting with her legs splayed open she had the demeanor of the guy. “You’re an idiot, who falls for that? You guys keep going,” I told the others. “We will catch up.” Luffy nodded, pumped up to go beat up Fart. Robin and Nami stayed behind with me.

“How the hell is this any different than what happened to us?” Nami asked from my body.  

“Well, we didn’t get captured,” I said. 

“We did be-” Nami said but I shushed her.

“You’re Weston?” Tashigi/Smoker growled. 

“Yep,” I said. “So, we gonna work together here?” 

“For what? I should capture all of you,” he said. 

“Don’t play games, Smoker,” I said. “I know you secretly like us. A bad guy is doing some bad stuff here. Shouldn’t we be working together to stop the worse guys?” 

“I’m not working with anyone,” he/she said. 

“You’re right, you’re stuck in here. Unless we let you out,” I said. He munched on his cigar. The marines around him, waiting for a signal to do anything. “You take the credit,” I said. “We have about 20 to 30 kids we broke out of here with, hidden away. You take care of them and we call it even.” 

“Fine,” he eventually growled. 

“Perfect,” I said, moving to my body. Sticking my hand up my sleeve I pulled a knife out of my sleeve. 

“Where did you find that?” Nami asked, looking in the sleeve. 

“I have knives all over,” I said. Sticking the thin blade into the lock I moved it around. “Crap, get me the other. This lock is tricky.” She dug it out eventually and I was able to force the lock open. Sliding the barred door open, Smoker in Tashigi’s body walked up to me. “What? Want to fight flat chest?” 

“Flat chest?” Tashigi asked from Smoker’s body. 

“Compared to this one, yes,” I said. Smoker glared at me but soon walked away. I was a little disappointed, it would have been a good cat fight. 

“Goddamn your body, Weston,” Nami growled. “Why did that turn you on?” 

“Ha! I think it turned you on.” I laughed as I grabbed her hand and we started running down the hall again. It wasn’t long until we caught up to the other Straw Hats. Punching and pushing our way through the guards, many of them turned and fled since we had already kicked their asses. More alarms went off all around as we made our way down into the laboratory. 

Smoker and his men yelling their heads off as they charged groups of guards. We eventually came to a room with the strongest fighters. Inside was a tall lanky woman with lime-green hair, and pale green wings, with long bird legs instead of human ones. Behind her, leaning against a wall was Trafalgar Law. 

I was about to yell at him when he snipped his fingers like they were scissors. Suddenly my vision shifted and I was in a different spot. I looked over to see Nami to my left. She turned to me slowly. Her eyes widening as we yelled out. 

“Finally!” We yelled as we hugged one another. Tashigi and Smoker didn’t react as we did, but as Smoker’s body lit up a cigar I guessed they were switched back as well. I pulled up my Status Screen, and everything was as it should be. 

“Thanks,” I whispered to Trafalgar. He nodded slightly, pretending to still be on the other side.

“Not sure what happened,” the harpy woman said as white snow began to pour out of her. “But this is as far as you go.” I was pretty sure she ate the Snow Devil Fruit, from what I remembered. But back in my body I was done playing games. 

I stepped up, pulling the cold from her snow as I did. The snow melted immediately. Gathering the water up I wrapped it around her body, encasing everything but her head. I poured an intense amount of cold energy into her. Her body froze up in a huge block of ice as I picked up my Chikyugi Necklace and put her to sleep in a Genjutsu. 

“You, time to talk,” I said to Trafalgar as I stepped up to him. He smirked, but nodded. 

“I want to form an alliance with you Straw Hats,” he said.