You've Got Mail: A Cautionary Tale

Chapter 49 — That Peach Forest, Once Upon A Time

Edited by DancingDolphinsYo

This time, Guan Shanjin was away for quite a number of days. Wu Xingzi could not put into words how he felt, but he kept feeling an emptiness within his heart. Even gardening and rearing his chickens did not improve his mood.

Seven days had passed, and Wu Xingzi could not even summon up the enthusiasm to visit the Peng Society. Dully, he finished his breakfast, and just like always, tidied up his garden plots, cleaned up his chicken coop and stared at the round, plump hen in a daze. His fixed gaze made the hen cluck non-stop, fleeing for a place to hide.

“Master.” Calling him back was Mint’s sweet and crisp voice. Lifting up her skirt, the girl sprinted towards him from outside, her eyes shining with delight.

Wu Xingzi could not help but smile. Whether it was Mint or Osmanthus, if he did not have these two girls around, his days would be so boring!

“What happened?” Wu Xingzi patted Mint’s head. The girl was still gasping for breath as she held her hand out towards him as though she was presenting a treasure.

Clutched in that little, fair hand was a branch of peach blossoms.

Wu Xingzi’s smile stiffened, and he looked at Mint in astonishment. “This is… a peach blossom? I thought there weren’t any peach trees in Bastion City?”

“There didn’t used to be, but I asked my aunt, and found out that the Zhu family had planted a few peach trees in their courtyard. They came into bloom this year!”

Mint explained that the Zhu family was a local aristocratic family of Bastion City. Unlike the Yue family who were merchants, they were one of the rare scholarly families here. From their previous few generations, they had produced officials who held positions in the capital. The current head of the family too originally had a position there as well, but later retired to his hometown. This was the reason why they had such a refined leisurely interest in planting peach trees.

These peach trees had been transported from nearby counties, and the Zhu family really had to be admired for managing to cultivate them. There were no buds to even be seen during the past two years, but now, the branches were laden with blossoms.

“Master, didn’t you keep smelling the scent of peach blossoms the past few days? It should have come from the Zhu family. The Zhu Manor is only one household away from the General’s Estate.” Mint cautiously handed the branch over to Wu Xingzi, speaking earnestly, “Master, I know that you most definitely are homesick, so on your behalf, I asked them for a branch of the peach tree. Let’s plant it in the General’s Estate as well!”

How could she and her sister not register their master’s abnormality these days? Previously, Wu Xingzi had always been tranquil and carefree. It never mattered to him whether the general came to see him or not, and he spent his days with relish. However, ever since that meal with the young lady of the Yue family, their master had changed. A sadness could always vaguely be seen between his brows, and he would periodically rub his chest. His gaze was always like a thousand yard stare, living as though he was in a fugue.

This made the two girls scold Miss Yue countless times internally, and they were extremely anxious! After that, with some prompting from Hei’er, they found out that the Zhu family had planted peach trees. Osmanthus recalled that earlier, Wu Xingzi had asked a few times if there were any peach trees in the General’s Estate, and so guessed that their master probably liked these flowers. Perhaps, after seeing them, he might feel a little better?

And so the two sisters mustered up their courage to go up to the Zhu family to ask for a branch of peach blossoms. Fortunately, the Zhu family was erudite, and they were kind and gentle to the girls. Without any fuss or any questions, they broke a branch off for them.

Wu Xingzi was lost for a moment. A thousand confused thoughts jumbled in his head, and he stared at the peach blossoms for a long time without a word. Only after noticing Mint’s little flushed face from the corner of his eye did he then barely manage to steady his emotions, and smiled at the girl. “Thank you very much, this branch of peach blossoms has grown really nicely.”

“Yes! It’s actually the first time my sister and I have seen peach blossoms. With their pink colour, they look a little similar to plum blossoms, but after looking closely, they look different.” Mint watched Wu Xingzi’s smiling face joyfully, feeling a huge relief within her.

“Where’s Osmanthus?” Wu Xingzi held on to the branch. The wafting scent of the peach blossoms made him feel extremely stifled, but he was unwilling to let the girl notice any discrepancy, and so he could only distract her.

“She’s gone to the main kitchen to ask for some flour and sugar. The eldest young lady of the Zhu family had taught us about a snack made with peach blossoms, and we’d like to make it for you to try.”

“Oh? You girls really have many ideas up your sleeves.” Wu Xingzi smiled as he ruffled Mint’s hair, and then told her, “I’m a little tired, and I’d like to return to my room and rest for a bit. There’s no need to wake me up for lunch, we’ll decide about it when I’m awake. Osmanthus and you should go ahead and eat, alright?”

“Ah, yes, I understand.” Mint nodded her head continuously. She wanted to help Wu Xingzi back to his room, but was sent away to help her sister in preparing the snacks. Thinking that Wu Xingzi should be feeling peckish, Mint naturally obediently listened and followed the instructions.

When she was a distance away, the smile on Wu Xingzi’s face vanished abruptly, and his complexion was even a little ashen.

He looked down at the peach blossoms. Feeling as though he was holding onto a flame, he was momentarily flustered. It was Hei’er who appeared out of nowhere, affably taking the branch from his hands, and solving Wu Xingzi’s immediate concern.

However, Wu Xingzi was unable to spare any gratitude for Hei’er. He turned away, almost fleeing back into his room. After closing the door and windows, he collapsed onto his bed. Traces of Guan Shanjin’s scent could still be detected from the blanket, only a lot weaker. In a few more days, it might even dissipate completely.

He took in a harsh, deep breath, feeling a lot more composed after that. Despite this, he was unable to stop himself from remembering that name…

“Zaizong-xiong…”

Wu Xingzi once thought that he had forgotten about that episode in his life. Who would have known that after saying this name out once again, he would still feel a heartrending pain, the throbbing aches making his vision blurry.

That tall figure standing amongst the peach trees, his clothes fluttering, looking like the deity of peach blossoms. At that time, Wu Xingzi was only eighteen, and that image dazzled him.

From that moment one, Yan Wenxin, Yan Zaizong… Zaizong-xiong, this person was deeply engraved in Wu Xingzi’s heart.

Wu Xingzi had always liked elegant and refined-looking men, but Yan Wenxin did not actually fit that criteria. The Yan Wenxin of twenty-something years old had a face that was a little too feminine, and was mocked for looking as though he was a fickle and disloyal man. His lips were too thin, and his eyes were slanted and narrow. When he did not smile, he looked very unkind, but when he smiled, it was like flowers blooming in spring.

Wu Xingzi liked his smile. It was as though with it, the world was suffused with warmth.

His parents had only been gone for two years, and Wu Xingzi had yet to get used to being alone. However, because of his old-fashioned and shy character, he had still been unable to find a partner whom he could spend the rest of his life with.

Yan Wenxin seemed to have added colours into his life, and finally, in the biting cold winter, a warm spring breeze blew.

Although Great Xia did not ban homosexual relationships, it was still rare for two men to be in love with each other. Also, Yan Wenxin whole-heartedly wanted to become an official, and naturally had to pay great attention to his personal virtues. Wu Xingzi had originally only wanted to just like him in secret. Even if they could not be partners together for life, as long as he could be next to Yan Wenxin, reading and chatting, it was enough for him.

The one to first tear the thin barrier between the both of them apart, was Yan Wenxin.

Wu Xingzi thought that he had long forgotten the past. Only now did he learn that there were things that could never be forgotten in one’s lifetime. It was just that he had buried them and locked them deep within his heart, and they were out of sight, out of mind.

It was raining that day. By the time he reached Goose City, it was already afternoon, and done with his errands, it was late in the day. There was an empty room in the magistrate’s office of Goose City where he could stay temporarily, and since that was the case, Wu Xingzi did not stand on courtesy, taking occupancy. However, although his accommodations had been settled, his stomach was empty! Contemplating for a moment, his cheeks blushed a light pink, and he hurried off to look for Yan Wenxin with his little money pouch.

To prepare for his examinations, Yan Wenxin lived a rather destitute life. Despite his poverty, he had no lack of will. He would rather starve and have just rice water for his meals, than to borrow even a coin from others. During the day, he would sell some of his writings on the street, earning a pittance of living expenses, and saving most of them in preparation of going to the capital to participate in the examinations.

Wu Xingzi’s heart naturally ached for him. However, he was reluctant to hurt his pride, and so always found all sorts of excuses to bring some food and necessities for him.

Like today, Wu Xingzi bought a roasted goose in the market, as well as a few pieces of flatbread, two big bowls of noodles, and two big bowls of porridge, before hurrying to Yan Wenxin’s residence.

The sun had set completely. Looking in through the window, the room was dark and gloomy. Inside it, there was a flame so tiny it looked like a thin thread, twisting about fascinatingly.

After knocking on the door, Wu Xingzi immediately pushed his way in, calling out, “Zaizong-xiong, are you here?”

“Is that Xingzi? Why did you come?” Yan Wenxin’s voice was not far away. With a bit of fiddling, the candle was now a lot brighter, and that face with its sharp chin was now clearly lit.

“I’m looking for you to accompany me in my dinner.” Wu Xingzi smiled as he lifted up the food in his hands. That roast goose was extremely conspicuous.

Hearing that, Yan Wenxin laughed quietly. “Come over here. You keep thinking of all sorts of ways to feed me, with a friend like you, I have no way of repaying it.”

“Ai, what are you saying that for?” Having been exposed, Wu Xingzi blushed in embarrassment, feeling a little awkward. However, there was an inexplicable sweetness welling up within him.

The two people set the table, and dug in sitting across each other.

Yan Wenxin did not own many things. The bowls and chopsticks that Wu Xingzi was using were actually brought over by himself previously, and left there.

With Wu Xingzi’s usual appetite, only bones would be left from that roast goose. However, in front of Yan Wenxin, he only ate a small part of it courteously, leaving the rest for him. Whether it was the noodles or the porridge, he was determined that Yan Wenxin would be fed till tomorrow’s lunch.

“Ah, Xingzi, your appetite isn’t big as well, but why do you always bring so much with you every time?” Zaizong looked at Wu Xingzi who already had his chopsticks down as he had eaten his fill, a smile across his face.

Wu Xingzi lowered his head, scratching at his cheek. He was too embarrassed to say that these were actually purchased according to his usual appetite, and there was completely no problem in finishing every single bit of it. It was just that he had left a large portion all just for Yan Wenxin.

As expected, the leftovers were carefully packed away by Yan Wenxin, and he laughed as he said that they were enough to last him till dinner time tomorrow.

Since they were both now fed, Wu Xingzi planned on making his farewells. Unexpectedly, Yan Wenxin suddenly caught hold of his hand.

As a scholar, Yan Wenxin’s hands were soft and smooth. With only a few calluses, they were a lot more supple that Wu Xingzi’s own hands. Still, that pair of hands was broad and firm, and their shape was well-proportioned. His fingers were long, and they were extremely nice-looking.

Even more so, the heat of his palm seemed to be searing hot.

The warmth burrowed in through the skin, spreading throughout Wu Xingzi’s body along his meridian channels.

Wu Xingzi trembled lightly. He shot a swift glance at Yan Wenxin, before turning his reddening face away.

“You have something to say, Zaizong-xiong?”

“Yes,” Yan Wenxin replied with a smile. He took hold of Wu Xingzi’s other hand as well, reducing the distance between both of them bit by bit. “It seems like it’s raining outside, are you in a hurry to leave?”

Listening carefully, there really was the pattering of raindrops. However, it was not heavy, and by the time he reached the magistrate’s office, Wu Xingzi might not even be completely soaked.

“Zaizong-xiong means…?” Wu Xingzi could not suppress a swell of anticipation, but very quickly, he got rid of that thought. They had been interacting for months already, and had always been treating each other like good friends. Yan Wenxin had even once said that he wanted to succeed on both the civil and military front, then marry a beautiful bride, and bring honour to his family name.

“Xingzi.” Yan Wenxin tightened his grip, as though he was pulling on Wu Xingzi’s heartstrings.

A silence, while the rain outside fell heavier. The raindrops drummed upon the flagstone path outside, and the air in the room dampened.

However, they remained motionless. Neither moved, and neither spoke. All they could hear was the breathing of the other.

No one was aware of how much time had passed. Yan Wenxin gave a sudden small sigh, and Wu Xingzi’s heart leapt violently into his throat.

“Xingzi,” Yan Wenxin again called out.

“Ai,” His mouth dry, Wu Xingzi replied.

“I like you.”

The Wu Xingzi in the memories gasped along with the Wu Xingzi remembering. However, the past him was joyful, while the current him was in pain.

The sentence reverberated in his ears, like an awl jabbing non-stop in the most painful place, jabbing until Wu Xingzi’s vision had turned blurry with tears, but he could only grit his teeth and suffer.

In his life, he had only liked this one person. Wu Xingzi was aware that he, himself, was clumsy, aware that he was ugly and was also aware that he was really not clever. But he was sincere, he was earnest, and for Yan Wenxin he was happy, for Yan Wenxin he was sad, for Yan Wenxin’s future, he could give everything he had.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” After so many years, this was the first time Wu Xingzi gave voice to the question that he had for Yan Wenxin.

Why did he not say it?

He understood that a person’s heart could change, and Wu Xingzi never requested for the things that he gave to be reciprocated. All he wanted was a word, a farewell, and that was already enough.