Chapter 452: : Deserve
Chapter 452: : Deserve
"Csille?"
I glance at Brother Pascal, acting as if I don't get what he means.
"Heard what, Brother? That Prince Fraser is arguing with Sir Farren?"
Brother Pascal shakes his head. "Not just that. What his highness said afterward-that someone from the royal family has feelings for Sir Farren?"
I pretended to be shocked by the news, even exaggerating my expression and tone to seem believable. "What! What do you mean? Did his highness say that? I don't remember, Brother."
Brother Pascal stares at me for a moment before letting out a sigh. "Maybe I was mistaken," he mumbles.
"Mistaken about what?"
He just shakes his head and continues walking to our rooms. "Nothing, let's get going. It's already late, and I'm sure you're tired from the journey. Let's rest now."
I heave a sigh of relief. It wouldn't be good for the storyline if anyone besides the main leads knew about the romance happening among them.
Brother Pascal stops at his door and looks at me. "Csille, are you sure you didn't hear anything?"
My heart races when he asks that question again. I thought he had brushed it off, but I guess it's not something that can easily be dismissed.
I look at him, ensuring he sees the confusion in my eyes. "Brother? What do you mean?"
I hear him take a deep breath and shake his head. "Never mind. You should rest now. Don't try to return to your office to resume working. I'm keeping an eye on you. If you want to continue working, you better listen, Csille."
I nod at him. How can I continue working after what I heard earlier?
"I won't. I'm actually so exhausted that I feel like I'll fall asleep as soon as I lay down." I give him a sweet smile. "Good night, Brother. I'll see you tomorrow."
Without waiting for his response, I head straight into my room. I don't bother looking around or unpacking my things. All I can think about is Prince Fraser and Princess Paislee's conversation.
Why are they having a conversation like that? And who is Prince Fraser referring to? A royal has feelings for Princess Paislee?
Who could it be? Is it the Crown Prince himself, Prince Fraser? Or is it Prince Rufus?
However, no matter how much I think about it, I can't figure out who that royal might be.
I groan in frustration and lie on my bed. It would have been better if I had stayed a little longer to listen to their conversation. But I couldn't do that with Brother Pascal there.
I put a pillow over my face and scream into it. I'm so frustrated that I just need to let it out. Everything is so messed up. Every time I try to keep things aligned with the storyline, something happens to mess it all up.
A shiver runs down my spine as the cold night breeze hits me. Unable to sleep, I decided to walk around the department to tire myself out.
My thoughts keep drifting back to the conversation between Princess Paislee and Prince Fraser.
"Who was he talking about? Who likes whom?" I mumble to myself.
I was about to turn a corner when I heard a familiar voice behind me.
"Dame Csille? You're here?" Princess Paislee's gaze lingers on me for a moment. "When did you arrive?"
I return her stare, noticing the exhaustion etched on her face. She seems worn out, She appears older than the last time I saw her.
"Dame Csille?"
Shaking my head, I respond, "Apologies, I couldn't help but notice your current state. You look..."
Princess Paislee smiled sadly at me. "Terrible? I know. There's been a lot going on since the explosion, and we've barely had enough sleep or rest. I'm sorry if my appearance makes you uncomfortable."
I shake my head. She doesn't look that bad. She just looks so exhausted. I'm pretty sure once she gets enough sleep, she'll look better.
I shook my head. "No, that's not what I meant, Sir Farren. You just look tired." I sighed. "I'm sorry, it's my fault you haven't been able to rest properly. If only I were here to help you with the work, you wouldn't have had to work so hard."
"Please don't blame yourself, Dame Csille. You were injured, so how could we let you work despite your injuries?" She then stares at me worriedly. "I heard from His Highness that you've fully recovered already. Is it true? Is that why you're here?"
I simply smile at her. "Thank you for your kind words, Sir Fraser. But I believe I can still do something even if I'm injured," I sigh. "As for your question, what you heard is true. I am well now. You'll be seeing a lot of me starting tomorrow."
Princess Paislee nods her head. "I am glad. You don't know how worried we all are for you. I'm sure everyone will be happy to see you return." She then pauses for a second. "But Dame, what are you doing here in the middle of the night? Aren't you supposed to be resting now?" I look up at the bright full moon in the night sky before answering. "I just couldn't sleep, so I decided to take a walk first. How about you, Sir Farren? What are you doing here?"
I remain staring at the moon. There is something in it that draws me in.
A few moments went by, but I didn't hear any response from Princess Paislee. When I glanced
at her, I noticed her staring intently at the moon too.
"I'm just thinking."
I furrowed my brow. Princess Paislee's expression was unfamiliar to me.
She appeared... vulnerable ... and helpless? A far cry from the fearless demeanor I was
accustomed to seeing from her.
So, why? Why does she looks so vulnerable right now? What could have happened that made
her like that?
"What are you thinking about, Sir Farren? Is everything alright? Are you okay?"
Princess Paislee offered a sad smile. "You're way too kind for you own good, Dame Csille," she sighed, shaking her head. "And it's making me feel even more guilty." She met my gaze. "Please don't be so good to me."
I furrow my brow. I don't understand what she's trying to say. Csille being good? Since when did the villainess turn good? Isn't that against their role?
"I don't understand what you're trying to say, Sir Farren. And why wouldn't I treat you well?"n/ô/vel/b//jn dot c//om
I hear her sigh. "Because I was the reason why... everything changed," she whispers the last two words, but I still manage to hear them.
My heart races when I hear what she said. What does she mean? Is she the reason why everything changed? With what?
A gentle, cold breeze passes by us, yet I don't even feel the cold. I'm sweating because of
anxiety.
I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. I couldn't be too blunt with Princess Paislee because she is very cautious. If I end up saying things I shouldn't have, I might further mess up the current situation.
"I don't think I am following what you are trying to say. You are the reason why what? Princess Paislee looked at me with a sad smile, then shook her head. "Nothing. Forget what I said," she said softly. Then she turned her gaze back to the moon. "Don't you think the moon looks lovely tonight, Dame Csille?"
My brows furrowed. As much as I want to ask her more, pressing her would only deter her from sharing more.
I understand her quite well. The more someone tries to pressure her into doing something, the more she stubbornly refuses to comply.
I just stare at the moon and hum a yes to her question. Indeed, the moon is definitely lovely
tonight.
We stay silent for a while and just busy ourselves staring at the shining moon.
I even thought, Princess Paislee wouldn't say anything after but I was startled when I suddenly heard her say, "Dame Csille, may I know what are your thoughts about two men
being in love?"
My eyes immediately widen when I heard what she said. Does it mean she is also in love with Prince Fraser now? Is that why she said she is the reason why everything changed? "Apologies, I know it's a sensitive topic, and I should have been more considerate of your feelings. If you're uncomfortable discussing it, you don't have to answer. I apologi-"
I shake my head. "Your question caught me off guard, but it doesn't make me uncomfortable." I pause, gathering my thoughts. "I believe that all forms of love should be celebrated, regardless of societal norms. Whether it's between two men, two women, or any other combination, love is love. As long as it's genuine, that's what counts."
I look at Princess Paislee's face, searching for any reaction, but it remains... expressionless. It's as if what I was saying didn't concern her at all.
"You are really deserving...."
I frowned when I couldn't hear her words clearly. It seemed like she deliberately whispered
them..
But why? And what does she mean I deserve it?
"I deserve what Sir Farren?"
She gazes at me with a smile and says, "You deserve all the love from people because of how
you empathize with them. Honestly, I thought you held prejudice against people who love the same gender. But I realize now that I need to reassess my judgments. I apologize for that."
"No need to apologize. I understand why you had that impression. But there's something I don't quite grasp, Sir Farren. Why did you ask that question?"
I notice her tense up for a moment before she meets my gaze. "I just happen to know someone who's going through a similar situation."
I made an effort to keep my facial expressions neutral, especially since Princess Paislee was watching me closely.
Even a slight hint of emotion from me could potentially affects her relationship with Prince
Fraser.
I couldn't allow that to happen, not now that Princess Paislee has developed feelings for
Prince Fraser.
I nod in understanding. "I see. Did you ask that question because you're concerned about
them?" Princess Paislee agrees. "I am. Frankly, I don't comprehend why a man would choose to be in a relationship with another man. How can he risk everything for a man?"
It's love. He's willing to risk the throne just to be with Princess Paislee, and I'm certain he'll
do everything to protect her once the truth is revealed that she's the precious Crown Princess of the Aeslaerean Kingdom.
"It is something we might not fully understand. But as someone who is close with that
person, I do think it's best to just support them. The society is already hard on them, they need someone who'll remind them that their love isn't wrong."
Princess Paislee stares intently at me, as if she wants to see something from me. "What will
you do if it's someone you love?"
Someone I love? She is really talking about Prince Fraser but I don't understand why we are having this conversation? Did she bring this up just to get my approval?
But why would she want to? I mean, I'm just an ex-fiancée of Prince Fraser. So, technically she doesn't really need my approval of their relationship.
I shrug my shoulders. "My opinion doesn't really matter. As long as the person I love will be
happy in that relationship, then why would I disapprove?"
I heard her sigh. I'm not sure if I heard it right, but I definitely sense a hint of disappointment
in that sigh.
But why? Why would she be disappointed? I thought she bring this conversation up because
she wants to get my approval?
I don't understand what is happening right now.
"But what if he is just confused?"
I frown. I don't know where this conversation is going. "Confused with his feelings? Then I
don't want to. If he truly have feelings for me then there wouldn't be a second person. I would rather support his new relationship than to continue what we had."
Silence fell between us, and we resumed staring at the moon, each lost in our own thoughts.
"He loves you, Dame Csille."
I smile sadly. Loves me? That's a lie. If he really did, we wouldn't be having this conversation
right now.