Vaudevillain

Chapter 8: Face off at the Mall

It was by the third abandoned factory that Dylan realized he was going about his plan all wrong. He was going about it like a strategy game, collecting the resources first before looking to build. His power was counteractive to that strategy as he had no clue what he should grab until he typed what he wanted into his power tab. Besides, if he couldn't fit a semi-truck into his inventory a factory machine of some kind wouldn't fit either.

"I'm an idiot," He groaned.

All that work going around looking for spare parts to use and he hadn't even opened his tab to type in his ideas. Well, Dylan wasn't about to wait any longer. He opened his power tab and typed "minion factory" into the box.

Minion Factory

Yellow Tic-Tacs (1)

Dylan closed the screen quickly. "Stupid popular culture replacing classic names." He replaced the word minion with henchman.

Henchman Factory

White suit (1)

White stormtrooper helmet (1)

"Oh come on!" Dylan complained as he closed the screen again. "Seriously how hard is it to use the dictionary description. I'm not looking to play a battle royale game in my RPG." He tried one more time, switching out the word henchman with lackey.

Lackey Factory

Full Face Mask (1)

Cohesive Theme (1)

Mannequin Doll (1)

3-D Printer (10)

Superglue (1 bottle)

That was much better. Plus it had the added bonus of sounding goofy. "Behold! My mighty LACKEY FACTORY!!!" Dylan boomed, pantomiming unveiling his machine. Yeah, that sounded exactly the right amount of ridiculous.

But none of these components would be found in the factory district. Well, the 3-D printers would be, but there was no way he'd be able to purchase ten of them. Those things were expensive! "I guess I'll have to steal them," Dylan muttered.

But to do that he would need a team of lackeys. "Man, all I wanted to do was recreate an old villain trope. Why is this so hard."

He was mostly grumbling for the sake of complaining. He liked playing Dr. Zlo, despite all the difficulty. "Let's look on the bright side, it means I can for sure use that abandoned house as a base."

Dylan made his way back towards the gothic house in Wonderman's Respite. Along the way, he grabbed up every piece of material or scrap he could think of just in case he could use it later. Sure it was bogging down his inventory but he could work on arranging it all later. Right now he wanted to get his plan started.

Once back at the base, Dylan typed in Lackey in his power tab. It was the same list as the Lackey Factory minus the 3-D Printers. That was easy enough to collect. Taking a piece of crumpled paper and a broken pencil from his inventory, Dylan listed all the remaining parts he would need.

Besides the lackeys and GB gun, he'd need some way to travel across town quickly. Since he was going with a gadget theme Dylan typed in "Rocket-propelled dress shoes" on his tab.

Rocket-propelled dress shoes

Dress shoes (1 pair. Derby, Cap Toed, or Dress boots)

Model Rocket Kit (6)

Training Wheels (2)

Wing Stickers (2)

Flame Decals (2)

Gasoline (1 gal)

Dylan typed in a couple more gadgets to complete his look.

Razor-edge Top Hat

Disposable Razors (2 packs)

Folding Top Hat (1)

Spray Adhesive (1 bottle)

Lasergun Monocle with Telescopic Vision

Monocle (1)

Laser pointer (100)

Telescope (1)

Coin batteries (20)

Solar panels (1)

With all the ingredients listed, it was time for a shopping spree. It seemed he could purchase all of the required items at a mall located between the government and residential districts. There was even a store where he could purchase a new suit. His current suit was perfectly fine but variety was the spice of life and there was no way Dr. Zlo used one suit for his villainous escapades. Gathering his current repertoire of one substance launching cane, Dylan walked out of the abandoned house and towards the mall.

The Harbor Mall (no relation to the Harbor District) was one of the few places in the city with twenty-four-hour access. At every point of the day, NPCs and players could walk into the mall and browse any store. Even now, during the middle of the night, various NPCs were milling about the area, purchasing overpriced coffee and pretzels from the ritzy food stalls.

The bright light of the moon shone down on the two-story structure, spilling in through the large sunroof in the middle. Dana Dozer was lazing about, resting her feet on one of the automatic massage chairs found scattered around the building. She had been patrolling the financial district earlier and had caught three separate villains robbing the same bank. Now it was time to relax and the mall had always been her go-to place to do that.

She yawned and stretched to the sky, her arms toned muscles of steel. She had chosen super-strength and resilience for her powers. It was simple, but it got the job done. And as a super going at it solo, simple seemed to work best.

Her reputation had been steadily improving over the last few days. A lot of the players going villain had tried to rob banks in the financial district first, letting her nab some easy points. They kept coming back over the week, some getting more and more desperate as time passed. Honestly, it made her job easier, though she received fewer points for stopping villains with a lower reputation.

But killing villains wasn't the only thing she wanted to do in this game. Dana had read up on the mechanics of base building and was trying to work her way towards making a place in the mall her base of operations. The way it worked was that if a hero or villain loitered in a building long enough without interference from an opposing party (hero or villain) they could claim the territory as a base. The amount of time was decided by the area claimed.

Dana wasn't trying to claim the mall, but a section of it. The mall didn't count as one large building but a collection of smaller areas all next to each other. Dana was trying to claim the mall cop lounge to use as a base of operations. The place already had cameras set up so she could patrol the area and if she claimed the place the NPC mall guards would help her out if a villain attacked the mall. She could expand the area downward later and make an underground hideout like all the best heroes.

Something tapped her on the head while she leaned back in the massage chair. She opened her eyes and looked up. A man of some kind was standing above her, punching at her face. It wasn't doing any damage but it was annoying. The man was wearing a black tuxedo and wore a white full-face mask with a black outline over the eyes. A bowler hat rested on top of its head.

"Jacques stop it!" She heard a voice yell.

A lanky man with a curled mustache and top hat dragged the man away from her. "I'm terribly sorry about that, Jacques still has some kinks to work out. Like ignoring my orders!" The man turned to glare daggers at his tuxedoed minion.

"You're that guy," Dana said. "The one from Heroic's video."

"Dr. Zlo, villain mastermind, at your service," The man bowed. "But do not be alarmed, I am committing no crimes here. I would never stoop so low as to rob from a mall."

"Doesn't matter," Dana said. "You're a villain, I'm a hero. Pretty sure we've got to fight. Plus I get reputation if I beat you."

"I mean you could ignore me. I was ignoring you until Jacques decided to ignore my orders and rush at the first hero he saw. But minions are always so eager and I can't stay too mad at him. He's only thirty minutes old after all." Dr. Zlo pulled the minion into a hug, smothering it with his bony chest. Dana swore she heard the doctor tut.

"Ugh, I hate dealing with roleplayers. Fine, leave and I won't bother you."

"Good good. Just let me purchase my last item and I will be out of your hair. Mayhaps we'll meet again on another battlefield."

"No, leave now."

"You're being very rude."

"Says the man who's minion attacked for no reason."

"Touche. But I really must purchase my last item, it is vitally important."

"I'm sure you can find another store."

"At this time of night?"

"Then wait."

Dana could literally feel the anger within her rising. She didn't like roleplayers, mainly because her brother LARPed and was a dick about it. "Girls can't play LARP games Dana they're too weak. You can't come, baby sisters going to their brother's games isn't cool. You can't play the fighter, you have to be the healer. You're only here because Mom said I had to take you." The asshole never shut up about how she couldn't join him. She was already thirteen. She could totally do everything he could!

So lost in her anger, Dana didn't notice Dr. Zlo leaving until he had walked into the jewelry store. "Hey!" She yelled.

Dr. Zlo ignored her, purchasing a pair of rings sitting in the display case. He walked back out and stored the rings in his inventory. "Let's go Jacques." He said.

"Stop ignoring me!" Dana yelled. The pent up frustration from years of getting ignored by an older brother too caught up in looking cool for his friends unleashed itself all at once. Angry, she hurled the massage chair at the villain.

Dr. Zlo dodged out of the way, though his minion wasn't so lucky. The massage chair connected right in the minion's stomach and he sailed into the jewelry store, breaking the display case and scattering rings and necklaces across the ground.

"Someone has a temper," Dr. Zlo quipped. "Do you get stronger the angrier you get? That seems like it could be a drawback."

Dana's response was to throw another massage chair. Again Dr. Zlo dodged out of the way, diving behind the fountain under the sunroof. Dana grabbed the last massage chair and jumped over the fountain to bring it down on the villain. Dr. Zlo clicked the heels of his shoes together in response.

Rockets appeared on the sides of the shoes and ignited. The villain backflipped away from Dana's attack and landed on his feet. His momentum stumbled him backward into a passing bystander. Dr. Zlo rebounded off the NPC and brought a hand up to the monocle over his left eye. "I see you don't want to be civil about this. VERY WELL! FEEL THE WRATH OF MY MIGHTIEST WEAPON!"

Dr. Zlo flicked at the link connecting a golden chain to the monocle. The link flicked upwards and a red glow formed in a ring around the eyepiece. Before Dana could react a red laser fired from the monocle and connected with the hero's chest. The laser pushed Dana back into the fountain, creating a wave of water that the laser immediately turned into steam.

The white cloud billowed out from the fountain, blinding everyone in the area. As the smoke settled Dr. Zlo looked at the fountain. "Did that do it?"

Dana burst from the fountain in anger and grabbed Dr. Zlo with her large hands. "Ah," Dr. Zlo said. "Admittedly, I expected the weapon to do more."

Dana squeezed the air out of the villain's torso. "Not so talkative now are we?" She quipped.

Dr. Zlo wheezed and tried to break her grip with a cane that appeared in his hand. When that didn't work he gasped out an order. "Jacques head back to the hideout!" The minion nodded and sprinted towards the exit.

"Stop! Talking!" Dana yelled. All her anger at her brother was now misplaced onto this idiot roleplayer. She squeezed harder, intending to crush him.

Dr. Zlo clacked his heels together again and Dana found herself launched into the air with the villain. The two crashed through the mall sunroof and soared into the sky. Dana refused to let go, trusting that she could win the PvP before the villain brought her to a dangerous height.

Dr. Zlo used the jerking motion from the launch to free a hand and angled his cane at the hero's face. With no plan except to distract her, he pressed the button down on his cane. Orange soda sprayed out of the cane's end and into Dana's face, some going up into her nose. The hero involuntarily released Dr. Zlo, years of evolution beating out her anger.

She fell back down into the mall, crashing through another section of the sunroof and cracking the fountain as she landed. Dana stood quickly, her resilience negating most of the fall damage. "Get back here!" She yelled.

Dr. Zlo hovered down through the sunroof, close enough to hear but not close enough to catch. "You may have bested me today Berserkerwoman but you will not win the next time! Until we meet again!" Dr. Zlo rocketed back out into the night sky.

"THE NAME IS DANA DOZER!" Dana yelled back. She kicked the edge of the broken fountain, cracking the concrete. "Stupid roleplayers."

Well, at least there was something good to come out of the fight.