Vaudevillain

Chapter 25: Ganked

As Dylan flew back to his secret base his friends list pinged. Opening the list showed a message from John.

DemarX:

Dude I'm so excited for the alien invasion

I'm stocking up on all sorts of gear I might need

Dylan tried to reply but almost ran into a pack of ducks that were sharing the airspace. He decided it would be a better idea to land somewhere before replying. He touched down on top of a water tower in the residential district.

Superfan39526:

Cool

I'm planning to do a heist

DemarX:

What like rob a bank?

Superfan39526:

I don't know if it'll be a bank yet.

Maybe I'll see if the museums have some sort of ancient cursed artifact

DemarX:

Nah

You know what you should do?

Hit C rank so we can take on the aliens together

Superfan39526:

I already promised another guy we'd do a heist

Though if you wanna make a character and join in

DemarX:

BUT ALIENS DYLAN

Superfan39526:

BUT MONEY JOHN

DemarX:

WAIT

DUDE

WE SHOULD ROB THE ALIENS

STEAL A MOTHERSHIP OR SOMETHING

Superfan39526:

That's probably the best idea out of your mouth

In like forever

DemarX:

Shut up

Tho I was kinda memeing

You think its actually possible?

Superfan39526:

I mean

Vert wants everything to be hyper realistic right?

This game is like an extra crazy open world

There's no safe zones for players

Nothing is off limits

They basically coded in a second earth, slapped a light rules system on it, and said have at it

Why wouldn't the alien ships be stealable?

DemarX:

Okay yeah

I can see it

You think your other friend would be in for it?

We'd all have to hit C rank

Superfan39526:

Lemme ask

DemarX:

Just add him to a group chat

Superfan39526:

Oh yeah

Dylan opened his friends list again and added Surfsup to the conversation.

Superfan39526:

Hey man my friend Demar here and I were talking

With the alien update coming up in a week

We figured the alien motherships would be stealable

You in to have that for the heist?

Also

You use Netchat?

Dylan opened up another private message to John.

Superfan39526:

He had logged off to message his friend earlier. Dunno when he'll be back on.

DemarX:

Aight cool. I'll get started on switching characters then.

Got a really cool power in mind

Superfan39526:

Oh what?

DemarX:

Not telling until we meet.

:p

Give you an incentive to hit C rank

Superfan39526:

Do I need to hit C rank?

DemarX:

Well

I guess not?

You could build a ship or something

But at C rank you can talk to smugglers and they'll get you into cities without trouble.

Otherwise you might have to deal with NPC heroes and stuff

Superfan39526:

Got it

Still might make something

Like a floating base

Ooh that gives me an idea

DemarX:

Aight cya

Lemme know when you hit C rank

Or get your ship ready

Superfan39526:

Yep bye

Dylan closed out of his chats and made to head back to his secret base. A fist came swinging into his face, taking around ten percent of his total health. Dylan felt a twinge of pain and saw the world spin. He landed flat on his back staring up at a pair of supers in tights.

"Dude its the suited villain!" One said.

"I'm so glad I'm recording."

Dylan made to turn the knob on his cane but the weapon was kicked from his grasp by the super closest to him. The two heroes looked to be some sort of pair. One was dressed in red tights while the other in blue. On the chest of each hero was the image of a lightning bolt.

The blue super moved to swipe Dylan's cane, moving impossibly fast in the process. He grasped the cane in his hand and went to twist the knob. "Let's see, in the vid he did it like this! And then he did this!"

The green bounce gel spilled out of the cane and coated the floor. "Sweet! It works!" The red hero turned to take a look. Dylan tried to take a chance, activating his rocket boots.

"Dude!" The blue hero yelled. The red on turned around to see Dylan launching off the side of the water tower.

"I got it." The red hero blurred. He blitzed over to Dylan before he got out of reach and grabbed him by the shoe. With a quick tug, Dylan's rocket boot was off and he went flew in a loop. He crashed into the top of the water tower, losing another five percent health in the process.

"Man you gotta watch him. You know he's tricky."

"Sorry sorry."

"What do you want?" Dylan asked.

"Oh man, he's doing the voice!"

"Dude this is so cool."

Dylan waited for the two heroes to stop fanboying. Finally, the blue one turned to him. "We want to fight you."

"Yeah, get it recorded and everything."

"We saw you on the front page facing that Heroic guy. He was a bit popular before but now his channel's skyrocketed. You know he can't change back yet? He's gotta reach B rank or something before he can find a gadgeteer who can do it."

"So we thought we'd find you in the game and ask for a fight."

"Then why didn't you?" Dylan asked.

"Oh, well, we were running around when we saw you flying. So we followed. You landed here and then didn't do anything. Red here said we should sneak attack you. To show we're serious."

The red hero nodded.

Dylan stared at them in confusion. "I don't follow."

The red one explained. "Well, we figured you'd say no if we just came up and asked."

"So your bright idea was to hit me with a surprise attack and then ask me?"

"Well when you put it that way it sounds a bit stupid."

"More than just a bit stupid. Can I have my cane and shoe back?"

The blue hero pulled the cane back. "Only if you agree to a fight."

Dylan rolled his eyes. "Fine. Where?"

"Here, right now." The red one said.

Dylan nodded. He wasn't all that upset over getting attacked, but the way these two went about it annoyed him. Dylan had met his fair share of people who didn't think things all the way through. He'd dealt with many of them at work. No matter how he explained they just didn't get it. These two looked to be like that.

The blue hero tossed the cane back and the red hero handed Dylan his shoe. He took both and then sat down to put his shoe back on. With that done, he stood back up and assumed the role of Dr. Zlo. "You dare attack Dr. Zlo?! Villainous mastermind?! Prepare to meet your doom!"

Dr. Zlo squinted and fired a laser out of his monocle. The red hero blurred and the laser passed by harmlessly. The blue hero took it as an opening and blinked forward. Dr. Zlo danced back as a flurry of punches came his way.

The red hero blurred behind Dr. Zlo and kicked out. The strike hit Zlo in the back and sent him forwards into one of the blue hero's punches. Dr. Zlo's health dropped by another twenty percent. In response, Dr. Zlo turned the knob on his cane to his adhesive and sprayed it around him.

The blue hero blinked away from the white foam but the red hero's feet got caught in the substance. They tripped over, sticking themselves to the floor. Dr. Zlo took the chance to fire another laser at the downed hero. This time it connected squarely on the hero's back, leaving a large welt.

The blue hero blinked into Dr. Zlo's range and took him down in a tackle. The two fell in a heap over the adhesive, sticking themselves to each other and the floor. The blue hero blinked away as he landed, leaving only Dr. Zlo on the floor.

"Dude help me out!" Yelled the red hero.

Dr. Zlo moved his head and started firing his laser while the blue hero blinked over to his friend. He grabbed the red hero's arm and tugged. When that didn't work he blinked both of them away. The two landed outside the area, blue hero breathing heavily, just as Dr. Zlo finished cutting himself free.

The villain snapped to face the two heroes and shot his laser again. The two heroes dodged to each side and circled Dr. Zlo. Both moved to punch the villain, jumping over the ring of adhesive. Dr. Zlo shot his laser at the blue hero to his right and blindly fired his cane towards the red hero.

The blue hero blinked out of the way of the laser and the red hero performed a matrix dodge to duck under the adhesive spray. Two more punches connected with Dr. Zlo. Dylan now sat at 45% health. It was time to leave.

Dr. Zlo twisted the knob to the smokescreen and fired it at his feet. At the same time, he activated his rocket boots and went flying off into the sky. Both his foes jumped out of the smoke. The red hero blurred and started to run on the air while the blue one blinked onto the red one's back.

Dr. Zlo swooped below the skyline and flew parallel to the street in an effort to stay hidden. But both heroes had caught the glowing trail from the villain's rocket boots. The red hero tilted down to intercept Dr. Zlo. The doctor turned in a barrel roll to fire his laser, missing by a hair's breadth.

The red hero slowly caught up to Dr. Zlo, his form blurring faster and faster as time went on. Soon he had gotten in range and the blue hero jumped off his friend to blink over. Dr. Zlo felt the weight of a body crash into him and he twisted erratically in the air. The two crashed into the side of a residential house, disturbing a family that had sat down to eat.

Dr. Zlo's rocket boots took him flying across the dinner table. He upended mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and a gigantic turkey as he crashed through. The two foes flew out of the room and smashed through the kitchen window. Somehow the turkey had gotten caught on the blue heroes head.

Dr. Zlo sat at thirty-five percent health now. Taking the opening the turkey gave him, Dr. Zlo grabbed his razor hat and slashed at the hero's arms. Red gashes appeared over the hero, a neon glow similar to a damage slash from arcade games. As the hero pulled off the turkey Dr. Zlo slashed again and again.

The red hero appeared next to Dr. Zlo and grabbed the hat out of his hands. A set of quick punches took away another ten percent of health, leaving Dylan at only twenty-five. Seeing he'd have to take desperate measures Dr. Zlo turned his cane to his fire spray and unleashed. The red liquid sprayed out on top of the blue hero.

Some of it splashed onto Dr. Zlo, burning holes in his suit and taking out some health every second. But most of the spray covered the blue hero and it showed. "Crap! RR I'm losing so much health! Gotta bail!" The blue hero blinked out of existence and landed on a grass lawn below. He quickly dropped to the ground and rolled to put the fire out.

The hero known as RR kept up his assault on Dr. Zlo, punching and kicked as the doctor tried to twist out of the way. But RR kept speeding up his strikes. Finally, Dr. Zlo was unable to take the assault any longer and took three punches in quick succession. Dylan's health dropped to zero.

Dylan respawned back at his hideout. Frowning, he checked his inventory and equipment to see if he'd lost anything. Both his monocle and cane were still there, along with his suit. However, his top hat was nowhere to be found.

"Aw man, I almost had them too," He complained to the air.

Oh well, nothing he could do about it now. Well, nothing except plan for an act of needlessly complicated revenge. He raised his hands in the air and laughed maniacally. "You haven't seen the last of Dr. Zlo!"