The Worldview Where Everyone is Destined to Die

Chapter 22: Never Remember…

<Never, remember it.>

This is both a concern and a warning. A lot of effort had been made. So much effort, immeasurable and unmemorable; if the soul has a form, that form is broken into pieces and powdered. There is just one conclusion I have reached.

'It' cannot be exposed to existence.

Among the creation myths of the creator God Aegis, there is a passage like this in different versions from the northern Liechten region.

[It is destruction, an irreversible disaster, defined by necessity and heading to morality, seething like hell, and thus coming the darkness, it is a name --. You cannot call it.]

Now I know too.

What is the darkness which boils and looms like hell, defined as destruction and chaos, all heading for mortality...

But we got caught.

I couldn't run.

We will be destroyed by something that cannot be named, defined or exists.

In return for trying to turn back from mortality, I once again force death on --.

Again and again, dozens and hundreds of times.

This world is a world where everyone is expected to die, and it is a hopeless one.

Now there is only one way left.

Pushing out the world of knowledge, something that cannot be specifically written about or defined.

Can I really do this, having failed so many times?

Is it possible for everyone to never think of it?

If I recall it in any way, it probably means that this destruction will be repeated again. It is born just by recalling it and gets stronger when paid attention to.

And I have no idea what this is. What record holds this.

To Arma Cruz.

Arma Cruz.

"..."

When I came to my senses, I was lying face down in this uncomfortable position with pillows propped in front of me with the instinct that something went wrong.

Even with my poor skills, I think I succeeded in <Self-hypnosis>...

"What does this mean?"

I stared at the messy piece of writing I had just completed, feeling overwhelmed. If anyone found out about the circumstances surrounding my writing, I feared my entire school life would be in jeopardy.

My mind was buzzing, possibly due to the lingering effects of a muscle relaxant, but there were no specific symptoms. Instead, a headache was settling in---a warning of sorts.

No, it wasn't just a headache; it was a warning that intensified the closer I came to grasping a complete concept.

Knock.

"Arma Cruz? Cadet?"

Enoch, standing outside, seemed to have noticed my presence and called out. I hesitated for a moment, contemplating my next move, then cleared my throat and responded.

"Come in."

Enoch gently pushed the door of the hospital room, entering quietly as if wanting to meet me face-to-face this time. The shuffle of his steps suggested he might have been lingering outside for a while, having heard the sound.

"How are you feeling?"

"I woke up a bit earlier than expected. I feel pretty good now."

"Thank goodness. I'm sorry for waking you, but I have a routine report, and I need to shift soon."

"No problem."

Despite his words, Enoch didn't leave. He stood in front of the door, showing no sign of departing. I was about to express my confusion when he spoke again.

"Cadet Judith Taylor and Cadet Arthur Usher are here to visit."

It looked like the two people got distracted while I was doing self-hypnosis. If they came when I was writing that crazy thing, they might have walked in, but it seems they came afterward.

"Right.... If the situation allows, I'll visit."

"Yes."

Enoch, seeming to have nothing more to convey, nodded and left the hospital room without glancing back. There was a brief rustling sound, and the guards changed.

'I guess I shouldn't do this too often.'

My heart pounded, likely due to the aftereffects of the self-hypnosis, causing a sense of dizziness. I patted my chest, waiting for my rapid heartbeat to settle.

'I must never remind myself of this.'

I pondered these thoughts in my head. The more I tried to piece together the story, the more despairing thoughts flooded in.

On the day I fainted from the rock hitting me, I encountered something clearly profane and horrible. I can't recall its exact form, but it was contradictory. If it was large, it had to be huge, and if it was small, it had to be minute.

"If I remember it this way, it might mean that the destruction will repeat," I mused.

The idea that the being from my dream might be a warning mentioned in the scribbled message lingered. Despite my attempts to avoid such thoughts, they persisted.

'Sigh...'

First, I needed to verify the authenticity of the strange document I wrote. Although the handwriting was a bit shaky, I could still read it.

However, considering recent instances of people imitating my handwriting, my sharp eyes wouldn't fail to distinguish. I swiftly prepared to leave, informed the supervisor, and headed to the library.

The library stood as a large building, shaped like a chapel, right at the center of an island formed like an inverted star.

Kik...

As students frequented the place, my attention was drawn to the shiny, faded handle. I carefully pushed the door open and peeked inside.

The vast interior of the library greeted me, filled with a heavy air and books ranging from easily reachable heights to those requiring a ladder to access.

"Let's see, The creation, Myth...."

"Go one more spot to the right."

A deep-voiced man responded. Turning around, I found a tall, red-haired man with a squared jaw who bowed to me.

"Leaving the hospital already?"

This was Cadet Dylan, the dorm prefect of the Wood Cross dorms.

Dylan, the cadet known for his secrecy at the elite academy, excelled in close combat and strength.

Beside him stood a classmate in a protective posture. In contrast to the composed Dylan, this classmate had a pale and unhappy demeanor.

'Ah, is it because of me?'

My various unintentional mishaps had turned me into a celebrity for the wrong reasons. I was certain it wasn't just one cadet reacting this way.

It seemed like I had to work hard to change that negative impression. Smiling at Dylan, who observed me, I said, "They said it wasn't a physical problem but a mental one."

"Could be."

The peculiar thing about Dylan was that, while he easily opened up to everyone, he didn't really give off a friendly vibe.

I didn't feel uneasy or stressed when Dylan spoke to me like this. But as for whether I could talk to Dylan first...

Could it be that his position as the class prefect, always doing things right, unconsciously made us keep a distance?

"But what about that myth?"

"Ah. It bothered me during the trial. I declared that I was an atheist in front of many."

"Indeed. You did."

Though he didn't seem to trust me, Dylan nodded and didn't ask anything more. His smile softened, revealing dimples, and his intimidating aura lessened.

"It's up to you, Cadet Arma Cruz, who you trust, but it's best if you don't move around this much."

"Yes. I'll be in soon."

"Right."

I nodded slightly to greet Dylan and quickly selected the Liechten version of many creation myths from the library, then headed back to the hospital.

"If you have anything concerning..."

At that moment, Dylan shouted at me as I walked away. Strangely, it had a long and lingering tone, almost like a whale.

I waved my hand in response without even looking.

'It's like he can see right through.'

Though the encounter was unexpected, I returned to the hospital sooner. The person following me didn't mention anything about the small deviation, perhaps because I wasn't going to be shaken by such things.

The moment I stepped into the hospital wing, I made a hand signal, stood in front of the door, and prepared to endure a long, boring time.

-Flutter.

I quickly headed to the bed and began searching through the creation myth.

The cadets who borrowed the creation myth from the academy didn't seem bad. The fact that the book had been there for quite some time and was in good condition proved it.

Eventually, I opened the page I wanted without showing any hesitation.

'There it is.'

A phrase starting with 'it is destruction, an irreversible disaster' was clearly stamped there. This page, unlike the others, was adorned with a red border, indicating a warning, while black symbolized darkness.

Not only is it eerie that it's only black and red, but it's also quite symbolic that the border is decorated with skulls.

I closed the page.

"Damn it."

I can assure you that, among the creation myths I, a fairly good cadet, have ever learned, something like this never existed.

If there was a class to learn something like Yvonne from the North, it would be in the Black Lily class,not the Wooden Cross class.

Even under hypnosis, is it possible to accurately write down the contents of a copy I've never seen?

With this, the expectation that the blasphemous scenery I saw was a complete delusion was removed one step after another.

'I cannot let anyone know...'

And that is where all the problems started.

If what I saw is now a lie, I have to keep quiet about this being that is born just from being remembered and gets stronger with more attention. Right, just like a 'taboo.'

In other words, it also means that I need to solve all this on my own, against some distant being that I can't even guess.