The System Mistook Me for a Cat

Chapter 99



Chapter 99

The person greeting Chu Tingwu was a member of the picC Parkour Club.

After more than a year of transformation, the artificial urban features of Fallen Phoenix City were beginning to take shape. First, picC opened a branch here, followed by a series of small events that attracted parkour enthusiasts.

Where there are people, there must be a suitable environment. In addition to indoor parkour training venues, more outdoor spaces were also renovated.

On the way back, Chu Tingwu and Zhou Qiang saw many people practicing on their own. They were vaulting over public facilities, like birds taking off and landing.

Zhou Qiang lagged behind, chatting with Chu Tingwu. She noticed that her companion's gaze lingered on those people, and her steps unconsciously became lighter.

Three-Five-Five jumped onto a half-meter-high railing and walked forward with straight, confident cat steps.

In the next moment, Chu Tingwu also jumped onto the railing, following behind Three-Five-Five. Her eyes didn't glance down; instead, she focused on her phone screen, chatting with Zhou Qiang as if walking on flat ground: "Aunt Mei just sent me a message, asking us to bring back some freshly baked marshmallows on our way home."

The "old child" at home and the crow both wanted to eat them.

When they arrived at the community, wrapped in a sweet scent, Aunt Mei hadn't come out to open the door yet. Shikuai in the courtyard had already jumped up, two steps to reach the top of the wall.

Chu Tingwu: "=o="

Chu Tingwu: "You've become quite skilled now, huh?"

It had been a while since she last saw Shikuai. She felt like he had grown a bit, but since he was already an adult cat, he could only grow vertically, right?

Seeing Chu Tingwu praise him, Shikuai's tail perked up, and he let out a "meow," then jumped down from the wall and leaped toward the ginkgo tree. The first attempt was a bit slippery, but the second time he successfully landed on a branch, letting out another "meow."

Chu Tingwu wagged her finger: "I can do that too."

Easy peasy.

Zhou Qiang poked her in the side: "What are you competing with a cat for?"

Chu Tingwu ultimately didn't get to show off her "I can do that too" skills. Instead, she took Zhou Qiang to play with a skateboard in the courtyard. Wu Classmate also flew down from the roof, his paws adorned with matte-finished anklets.

A while ago, to facilitate a trip together, Wu Classmate had officially settled in Teacher Zhang's home.

As Chu Tingwu's elder, Teacher Zhang made Zhou Qiang a bit nervous when she brought gifts to visit. However, after chatting for a while, she discovered that as long as "Chu Tingwu" was the topic of conversation, they could talk for a long time. Teacher Zhang was a patient and knowledgeable mentor, capable of engaging in any topic.

When Chu Tingwu came in to get a drink of water, she saw the two of them sitting on the sofa, both petting Three-Five-Five.

Three-Five-Five: "=,="

The cat mother was quite tolerant, enduring for half an hour before escaping.

Teacher Zhang then demonstrated to Zhou Qiang how to call his cat inside with a meow and then swap petting for a cat treat—

Chu Tingwu: "You can just call his name, and he'll come in."

Was he just showing off his cat language skills?

Chu Tingwu went to help Aunt Mei, but was shooed out of the kitchen: "If you're free, why don't you help give Shikuai a bath?"

Hmm?

House cats are generally quite clean. Shikuai's last bath was over a year ago, right after he was lost and found. Aunt Mei had been worried he might have picked up parasites, so she gave him a wash.

Now that the child was back home, it was a good time to send him to bathe the cat.

"By ​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​​​​‍the way," Aunt Mei asked, "when was the last time Three-Five-Five had a bath?"

Chu Tingwu: "How can you ask about a lady's bathing time..."

Aunt Mei: "Huh?"

Chu Tingwu: "She hasn't had a bath since we brought her back. Sometimes I wipe her down."

Three-Five-Five was always out and about. If she got dusty or had grass stuck in her fur, Chu Tingwu would help clean her, not letting the cat mother lick herself. Other times, she would just wipe her paws and "fur pants" and groom her fur.

A bath... maybe the last time was at Little Sun Pet Hospital?

Chu Tingwu picked up Shikuai from Zhou Qiang's lap, deciding to tackle the easier target first.

When brought to the bathroom, Shikuai had no idea what was about to happen.

Seeing Zhou Qiang follow in, Chu Tingwu gestured to her: "Lock the door from the inside."

Zhou Qiang: "......Are we bathing the cat?"

Well, she might as well help.

For safety, she took off her woolen coat and borrowed an apron and sleeves.

Hearing the sound of the lock, Shikuai's ears twitched: "Are you going to poop, meow?"

But why did you bring him in? Was it because he couldn't bury his poop himself?

Chu Tingwu looked serious: "Coarse language."

Shikuai: "?"

Chu Tingwu waved her hand: Little cats shouldn't speak so coarsely, so we need to give you a bath.

Shikuai: "??"

Until he was thrown into the bathtub, Shikuai still didn't understand what pooping had to do with bathing. He buried his poop well! He buried his poop well!

"Meow-mew-ow—ow—"

As the black ball tried to bounce out of the bathtub, Chu Tingwu reached out and caught his neck mid-air, then pressed his right leg with her other hand, forcing the cat back into the tub.

Zhou Qiang poured hot water over Shikuai, avoiding his face and nose. After the cat was completely soaked, she started rinsing him directly with the showerhead.

Shikuai's front paws clung to the edge of the bathtub, cursing loudly.

Chu Tingwu: "Meow?"

Are you sure you want to curse at me?

Shikuai: "......"

Shikuai: Bad kitten!

Unable to curse, he started playing the sympathy card: Baths are so scary! His fur was soaked and stuck to his body, making it very uncomfortable. He couldn't lick it dry, and the weather was cold...

Chu Tingwu: "The air conditioner is on."

Shikuai: "Then you should bathe too, meow!"

Chu Tingwu: "Oh."

Chu Tingwu: "I bathe every day."

Shikuai: "?"

Too scary. Are you really a cat?

The adult cat Shikuai looked at the kitten beside him for the first time, his eyes revealing a sense of awe.

Zhou Qiang, beside them, was desperately pinching her waist to keep her expression from looking too strange—so it looked a bit grim—but watching the serious "meow-meow" argument between the cat and the human was really hard not to laugh.

Especially since neither the cat nor the human seemed to find it funny... they were very serious.

After washing Shikuai and checking him all over, Chu Tingwu wrapped him in a towel to absorb the water, then went outside to find the hair dryer.

Since the family rarely bathed a cat, they didn't have a pet dryer.

Shikuai didn't like the hair dryer, but unlike other cats, his reaction wasn't that intense. He just looked very unhappy, clearly enduring it.

Zhou Qiang helped blow-dry his fur. Glancing at Chu Tingwu, she noticed that Chu Tingwu was holding the kitten, covering its ears and then her own, with an equally unhappy expression.

Both the human and the cat showed expressions of "endurance."

Zhou Qiang: Got it. You're empathizing with him.

She had already turned the hair dryer to a lower setting.

—But Chu Tingwu was indeed "empathizing."

Normally, she would deliberately ignore such sounds, as the sounds her ears picked up were too varied. Seeing Shikuai like this, she tried to relax her instincts a bit.

Hmm... she turned to Zhou Qiang and said: "Turn up the wind, let's get it over with quickly."

Zhou Qiang: "......Okay."

She adjusted the setting and saw the expressions of the two cats... the human and the cat became even more numb.

Outside the door, Three-Five-Five had been wandering around, wanting to come in. Seeing Chu Tingwu and Shikuai, the paw she had lifted didn't touch the ground. After a moment of hesitation, she jumped back and returned to the courtyard.

When Shikuai was almost dry, he broke free and ran to the air conditioner, lying down to lick the fur on his lower legs.

Chu Tingwu: "Three-Five-Five—"

The tabby was perched on the treetop, pawing at the leaves, pretending not to hear.

Three-Five-Five was clever.

Zhou Qiang, lagging behind, silently placed an urgent order for a pet dryer.

Her intuition told her that washing the tabby next would be a big battle. It was better to buy a tool.

She thought Chu Tingwu would climb the tree to catch the cat, but she didn't. Instead, she just looked up, deep in thought, then: "Meow~"

This sound was different from the cat calls she had previously learned. It was soft and sharp, like a kitten's meow.

Teacher Zhang leaned against the doorframe, unable to help but silently smile.

Three-Five-Five: "......"

Chu Tingwu: "Meow! Meow~"n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om

Chu Tingwu not only called out, but also stretched out her arms, as if waiting for Three-Five-Five to jump down on her own, or as if she wanted to give the cat mom a hug.

After calling out a few times, the tortoiseshell cat surrendered.

Her gaze when she looked over was very deep, and her movements were a bit stiff, but she still jumped down and landed in Chu Tingwu's embrace.

During the cat washing session, Three-Five-Five didn't make a sound, just crouched in the corner of the bathroom, staring grimly at the corner of the wall.

Zhou Qiang took the opportunity to give the cat mom a thorough petting, though inwardly she was singing with joy. Her expression remained unchanged, and she calmly told Chu Tingwu, "So Three-Five-Five is solid."

The cat mom had an explosion of fur, but now that the fur was sticking closely to her body, she was still a large... mound, and it wasn't just useless fat on her body.

After the bath, the drying process was simple. Zhou Qiang thought that based on Three-Five-Five's behavior, she would probably go into the dryer on her own.

However, when Chu Tingwu carried her out, the tortoiseshell mom glanced at Shikuai, who had just finished grooming, and jumped down to give his head a smack.

Shikuai: "Meow!"

Water, the water splashed over!

Zhou Qiang: ...

Not just water, the wet fur on his head had puffed up, and Three-Five-Five had given him a very trendy new hairstyle for free.

Fortunately, the drying went smoothly. Zhou Qiang looked at Chu Tingwu and noticed that she was still rubbing her ears: "Was the sound of the hairdryer too loud?"

Chu Tingwu: "It's fine."

It's just that the sound seemed to come and go, sometimes clear and sometimes blurry.

The system noticed the issue before Zhou Qiang:

The changes in the little one started a few days ago, and it seems that the little one's【Perfect Control lv1】skill has been upgrading unusually fast during this period. It might be because the nighttime sailboat training, though providing little experience, has a particularly significant effect on improving control over the body...

The system said sternly: "Because of the uneven sensory experience between day and night, you've been running all your attributes at full power in the dream classroom, while in reality, you try to suppress them. If this continues, it's easy to break the balance of your five senses that you could originally control!"

Chu Tingwu: "Can you say something I can understand?"

The system meowed: "Your control over your limbs has improved, but your five senses haven't kept up, so whether it's your sense of smell, hearing, or vision, they've become less stable."

There's a small chance of situations like today, where your hearing unintentionally strengthens and picks up distracting noises; your sense of smell unintentionally amplifies and catches unwanted odors; the most serious is the cat's "farsightedness," where when a cat focuses on distant scenes, they can't see much nearby, which is very dangerous.

As for sensitive taste and touch, they're relatively minor issues.

So the system said coldly: "There will be no sailboat courses in the dream classroom until your control over your five senses improves to the same level."

Actually, this is partly its fault, because the dream classroom's realism is a notch below reality. The system deduced through its program: If the little one had learned in reality, this imbalance in attributes wouldn't have occurred.

And if it had noticed earlier and not been so indulgent, the little one's physical condition wouldn't have been an issue.

It's all its fault TAT

Chu Tingwu: "I'm not sick..."

This should be considered a problem of being too strong.

She poked Three-Five-Five, feeling curious: The cat mom was different from her, but unlike other cats, she didn't seem to resist leaving her territory. How did she overcome this issue of overly sensitive perception?

Chu Tingwu asked Three-Five-Five.

Three-Five-Five: "Meow?"

She had already dried her fur, but all the fur was standing up in random directions. Hearing the little one's question, she calmly jumped out of the dryer, pinned Shikuai, and started beating him, chasing the black cat around with "owwls" and "howls," then pounced on the mechanical seagull controlled by the system and gave it two punches, before scaring Wu Classmate out of the yard.

Three-Five-Five: "Meow."

That's how I overcome it.


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