The Rise Of A Porter

"You're quite cocky for a mortal," Hermes laughed as both the competitors took their places, "don't worry about your family. I have heard your wife is beautiful. She would make a great concubine for me or maybe even for my father."

"I thought it was a battle to test out strength and not how fast you can run your useless mouth." Arnold was completely unprovoked by Hermes' remarks.

'This bast.ard is awfully calm... If he had been anything like he was in the past then saying those words should have made him lose his shi.t by now.' Hermes thought while waiting for Heimdall's signal to start the battle.

In the meantime, Arnold had heard what the pipsqueak was telling a bit Nina, and was infuriated beyond any limit. He had the visor on, thus Hermes couldn't see his angered face, but that was the moment Arnold had decided to end the bast.ard's life in the most humiliating, gruesome and painful way possible.

Initially, he had accepted the duel because he wanted the gods to fear him, just like the vassals did. He wanted them to see the monster they had created, under the guise of a game. A monster capable of biting their master. However, this fool of a god Hermes had just made the duel personal.

Did he say want to make Nina a concubine? Just wait and see what he will do to the likes of you. Maybe the gods needed a reminder of what happens when someone even thinks about touching his wife with bad intentions. But before that Arnold needed to use the probe skill on Hermes as usual, to see what was he working with. 

___

CLASS: Speedster / Mage

NAME: Hermes

LEVEL: 310

COSMIC RANK: SS

ROLE: Godhood (God of Speed, Messenger of gods, First Kin of the Gods) 

AFFINITY/ABILITIES :

• Penance Burst (Active skill)

• Zeus' Favourite (Passive skill) (Grants boost in stats)

• Enrage (Active skill)

• Blessing of Zeus (Active skill)

• Blessing of Olympus (Active skill)

• Hell Strike (Active skill)

• Speedster's Agility (Active skill)

[Expand to view 9 more]

HP: 40000/40000

STRENGTH (STR): 1201 [+1000] (due to the passive: God's favourite)

DEFENSE (DEF): 826[+226] (due to the gears)

STAMINA (STA) : 1200 [+200] (due to the passive: God's favourite)

INTELLIGENCE (INT): 1444 [+200] (due to the passive: God's favourite)

AGILITY (AGI): 1700 [+200] (due to the passive: God's favourite)

ACCURACY (ACC) : 865 [+200] (due to the passive: God's favourite)

EVADE (EVD) : 1687 [+200] (due to the passive: God's favourite)

CHARISMA (CHA): 1200

Damage Resistances: Elemental Attacks (50% damage reduction), Magical attacks (70% damage reduction) 

Condition Immunities: Exhaustion, Frightened, Frozen, Ranged attacks, Attacks from a mob.

Weak Against: ???

THREAT LEVEL: Mediocre

REMARK: Hm... a speedster who had been running away from paying child support to his countless children. Maybe that's the reason he is also known as the god of thieves as he is one himself. Possibly the only god to have taken after his father, Zeus, in terms of libido. This man would stick his junk in any hole.

Hell, he could even fck a stone and it'll get pregnant as well- wait, I think someone already did that. Either way, wanna know the best way of defeating him? Dig a small hole of about a couple of millimetres (I don't think he is bigger than that, to be honest) and fill it with ants. At least those ants would do the universe a favour and eat away his tool.

Or maybe try tripping him over. He may be smart but, meh, he is going up against you so how smart could he possibly be? Also, he has a fragile ego. Don't believe me? Just call him out and you'll see.

___

'I see you went all out there, system sama.' Arnold smiled a bit after reading the absurd remarks system sama had to give to him, 'Is he really a god? Even Talos has better stats than he has, let alone me.'

[Hey, it might be harsh, but I'm just telling the truth. That bastard really gets even on my nerves, do me a favour and kill him. If you do, I'll lift the level limit off.]

'You serious?'

[Yup. Just got the Immortal's permission. He wants to see your full strength and so I won't hold you back anymore. Also, try to enrage him. He'll lose focus in an instant.]

'I guess there is no harm in trying that...' Before Heimdall could give them the signal, Arnold promptly open the visor and looked at the useless god in front of him.

"Well, considering your useless father couldn't do a thing to me, I don't have high expectations from you either..." Arnold shrugged his shoulders, "Looks like Olympus lacks real men who have their junk at least in several inches and not in a couple of millimetres. No wonder you don't have a wife, after all, who would touch you after seeing how 'big' of a heart you have. But I guess, saying that out loud hits a bit too close to home doesn't it?"

"YOU ARE DEAD!" Hermes did not even wait for Heimdall to start the duel and rushed in to end Arnold.

The size of his junk was a strictly private secret that only the ones he had slept with knew about. Hermes didn't care where Arnold got to know about that, but he was certainly going to end Arnold now.

"If only I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say that to me... *Sigh*" 

Just like that, Hermes disappeared from everyone's sight but for Arnold he was right there, trying to attack him from behind. The moment Hermes disappeared everyone thought Arnold was done for, the duel was over and Arnold was dead. But Arnold disagreed. 

The next moment, Arnold had his bionic fingers wrapped around Hermes' frail head. The gods thought Hermes was fast then they didn't even have a word to express how fast Arnold was. His slightest movements had created several after images of himself and the gods were still looking at someplace Arnold already left a while ago. 

Hermes tried to free himself from Arnold's grasp but it was all in vain. Arnold was better than him in every way. Hermes had signed up for death the moment he challenged Arnold to a deathmatch thinking he would win, but now he had lost, that too using the one thing Hermes took pride in... agility. 

"Inflated ego, two brain cells, speed comparable to a snail and a d.ick smaller than an amoeba... why were you acting so cocky again?" Arnold said while slowly tightening his grip around Hermes' head, "You people should really stop looking down on mortals."

Arnold couldn't help but laugh to his heart's content as the gods were stunned. Apart from a few gods, no one had believed he would be able to defeat Hermes. But there he was standing tall while Hermes' feet dangled in the air.

"Hmph HMPH!" Hermes tried to say something but couldn't because of Arnold's hand.

"You wanted to touch my wife right? Let's see what you will be able to touch after I am done with you." Arnold grabbed one of Hermes' legs with his other hand and started slamming him around as if Hermes was a ragdoll, and he was a professional as.s-kicker which technically he was. 

At first, Hermes tried to fight back but soon realised the struggle was futile. He wasn't going to survive after all he had said to Arnold. The only thing that mattered was how quickly will Arnold kill him and it was not looking good for him. Arnold really was unbeatable.