The Only Good Orc is a Half-Orc

The Exiles – Part 1

“What did you do.”

“I just put her to sleep.”

“What… why!?”

“What do you mean why? So, she wouldn’t overreact when she saw us.”

“Why do you think she would do that?”

“Really. Are you seriously asking that question? I always knew you were stupid but come on. We are in a forest, in the middle of nowhere. It’s pitch black and she was on guard duty. The only company you expect in those conditions is someone trying to kill or rob you. Case in point, her new friend.”

As Olivia slowly regained consciousness, these were the voices that she heard, and she had no idea what was happening. The last thing she could recall was falling asleep after being hit by something and then someone speaking to her. Now awake, for some reason, she was greeted by two people just having a chat near her, where she could tell that they were both girls and that one of them sounded like the person who spoke as she fell asleep. This should have just been obvious, but in her delirious ad groggy state having just woken up from whatever put her to sleep, she hadn’t managed to see this.

‘How did they do it?’ she wondered, ‘was it a poisoned dart that I missed or something? Could it have been magic?’ were the thoughts going through her head as she tried to recall how she ended up asleep in the first place.

.....

She really didn’t know what to do now. She thought about just waking up and confronting these two people, but given they were somehow able to put her to sleep, who knows what could go wrong. It was also possible they mean her harm, and that given she was asleep, they hadn’t done anything yet. She figured that the longer they thought that the better.

So, she decided to remain where she was, with her eyes closed, listening to them babble. Hopefully, they would talk about what they wanted and she would figure out the right time to ‘wake’.

“Ok. You might be right about her overreacting, but you are wrong about me being stupid. I am not stupid. You’re stupid.”

“Really, you’re going to stick your tongue out at me. Real mature.”

‘How long are they going to argue like this’

The back-and-forth retorts kept going for what felt like hours, and she was sure the sun would be rising soon. All she could do was hope they would stop insulting each other and actually talk about why they were. Even just stopping to notice that she was still asleep would be enough for her.

It took some time, but at long last, she was rewarded, as they finally stopped bickering and actually agreed on something.

It’s just that what they agreed on made her feel a bit… strange, violated even.

“At least I have a better aim when firing my spells!”

“What are you talking about? You have never hit me with your spell work. You even missed so bad you hit her.”

“Hey! My aim was perfect, you just appeared behind her. Also, it wasn’t just me who hit her. You messed up as well. What were you thinking firing a spell to turn me into a goblin.”

“Don’t you dare just blame this on me when you were the one who tried to make turn me into an orc! To top it all off, because of that we somehow made her.”

Silence reigned for a while, and Olivia felt like they were using this moment to recount what happened and deal with the guilt they felt for what they did to her.

How wrong she was though.

“While we both messed up, I must admit our spells worked very well. Just look at her. I never imagined those two spells could be combined like they were”

“I completely agree with you. She looks so beautiful. Orc and Goblin in one. It even looks like she got the best features from each.”

“Yeah, I mean have you seen her abs, look how amazing and toned they are. I wonder how they feel.”

This statement was then followed by the girl doing what she said. Olivia was startled by the touch on her stomach, but she managed to stop herself from jumping.

‘What is with these two, this is starting to make me very uncomfortable.’ She still wasn’t sure whether she should ‘wake up’ now as she still had no idea what these girls wanted. Aside from touching her that is. So, she kept her cool and remained where she was.

“Oh and look at her skin … and those ears, just like my lovely goblins.”

The other one started to touch her ears, and Olivia had to try as hard as she could not to laugh from how ticklish it was.

“But the best part. Have you seen what she’s got below? It’s just beautiful. Not so large it can’t fit anywhere but also not so small you can’t feel it, it’s just right. I don’t know how our spells produced this, but next time I need one, I’m modelling it after this. I just need to see how it feels to know how to incorporate it into my spells…”

“Ok, that’s enough! Who are you two? Why are you here? What did you do to me? And will you stop touching my body?!” Olivia shouted as she jumped up. She couldn’t take it anymore. All these two had done was bicker and then move on to complimenting her body. Sure, the compliments were nice, but having two strangers you couldn’t see touch you was no, especially since the next place would have been her little friend.

“…”

“…”

“Well?”

The two girls just sat there with their mouths open, not sure what to say. Now that Olivia was finally standing, she could see who they actually were. Looking at them, the memory of her final moments on Earth came to mind and she realised that these were in fact the two girls who sent her to this world. While it was obvious from what they spoke about, it was good to finally put match them to what she saw on Earth.

“Err, well. We…we come in peace.” The short girl said as she stood up. “Ta-take us to your leader.”

“You’re such an idiot.”

“Hey!”

“No, no, no. No more bickering. I’ve heard enough from you two to last a lifetime.” Olivia jumped in before they went off again. She was not going to sit through all that again.

Olivia took this time to look around and check where she was but found that she had not moved from the spot where she had been in for guard duty. As she looked around, she saw Lyrika laying down as she did when she first went to sleep. The problem was that surely with all the noise she should have woken up by now.

“What have you done to Lyrika!”

The tall girl in the business suit stepped forward and stood tall as she started to speak.

“Your friend is fine. We just gave her the same sleeping spell that we gave you. It will wear off in while, don’t worry. Now, I think we should properly introduce ourselves. My name is Carinthel and this short waste of space is Lilestia –”

“I can introduce myself… wait… hey you insulted me again-”

“We are what you would call goddesses.”

“Exiled goddesses, you annoying bit-”

“Yes… exiled goddesses.” Carinthel quickly said, cutting Lilestia off.

“…I see.” That was all Olivia could say. It wasn’t every day you met you met a goddess. While they said they were goddesses, there was always the chance they were just crazy people. But with the magic and how she had seen them on Earth, she was inclined to believe them.

‘Could they kill me with the flick of their wrist?’

“Why…why are you here?”

The two girls looked at each other and nodded before turning back to her.

“We need your help.”

“Err, how can I help two goddess-.”

“Exiled goddesses.” Lilestia quickly added.

“…exiled goddesses.”

Carinthel looked down and sighed. Olivia could tell she didn’t want to have to talk about it, but obviously, the only way she could get Olivia’s help was by telling her the situation.

“We messed up. A couple of times actually. But to really explain I need to go back a bit. You see this world was made by many gods and goddesses, where everyone worked on different aspects, creating mountains, rivers and all manner of things. Once that was done, we moved on to creating life to roam the world. Are you with me so far?”

“Yes. I guess. Why did you all make the world anyway.”

“Because we could… and for fun I guess. We get to watch all of you just live out your lives. Its like a gods version of television.”

‘Well, that’s quite the revelation. It pretty much sounds like this whole place exists because some random gods were bored’

“So, when it came to creating life, we all ended up making different creatures. We were lucky enough to be chosen to make two sentient species. I made the Orcs. ”

“And I made Goblins.” Lilestia jumped in to quickly add.

“Yes, anyway, what you have to understand is that while we had fun designing them, each of the species and races was made to have a specific role. So, for example, some creatures are there to help plants grow, some are food for others, and things like that. I mean, if you think about it, while we made the world for us to watch and enjoy, it doesn’t help if it just collapses instantly because all the plants making oxygen are killed by some animal, dooming the rest of life on the world.”

Olivia could see that, even through the absurdity of it all.

“The higher gods who are above us decided the rules for the world and who made what. They ended up making the elves, humans, dwarves and the other advanced sentient races, most of them in their own image and how they liked. They made them smart, skilled and powerful, but while good on paper, with free will it was easy to see how they might come to fight each other. Now while it would be amusing to watch the sentient races duke it out, with how they were designed it would likely end with a lot of death. There was even the possibility that if they become advanced enough, they might end up taking most of the life in the world with them as well, during those wars.”

“Ok…”

“And, well…what’s the point of having a television if there’s nothing to watch?” Carinthel said as she shrugged.