The Heart is a Void: Ashes to Ashes

Chapter 126: Unity

Crucis reached the [Prayer Hallway]'s high portico right at the end of a loud sermon.

"You have been barred from all that you find familiar, from the world you have lived in, and therefore it is difficult to avoid resignation and melancholy. But be brave, for the Lord has said, My kingdom is not of this world. Even if we are cast out of the world itself, we may still seek refuge in the kingdom of God! For all Christians are like refugees, who flee from your nations, your past, yea, even the world itself, in order to seek tenuous residence in the kingdom of Heaven. We must turn to this hope for a new home, for we have no other.

"Do not despair, for the Lord will be with us through even the end of days. He will be by our side, even then, when the beast rises from the sea! And take solace in these dark times. For, in despair, we realise that we can only take shelter in the word of the Lord, and not in the distractions which usually keep us from him. Listen to the words of James, 'Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming on you. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days.' You can only take shelter in the word of the Lord!"

The speaker, an old, grizzled man who looked British, walked quietly off the podium. A few in the audience applauded, but most remained silent, since that was typical behaviour in churches and worship events.

Behind him, there was a large statue of Christ on a crucifix, along with a hologram projected on the wall which showed images from Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel.

As Crucis found a place to stand in the fairly crowded, large building, he heard a shouting match going on at the far-right side of the building, involving what sounded like seven to eight people on each side.

He turned to a wiry, tall man on his right, who had a look of fatigued resignation as soon as he heard the shouting, and asked what was going on.

"Oh, that happens sometimes, when we try to hold these events," the man replied. "There's so many different denominations, cultures, people from different social strata, and in this game tempers can run high. There's often loud arguments, shouting, that kind of thing."

"Ah, I see," Crucis replied. "It's unfortunate."

"Yeah, definitely. Our congregations here are very much makeshift, though, so it's a difficulty we have to face. I think I recognise the people shouting, they were at each other's throats yesterday as well. It's one group of posh people wearing bling, I kid you not, who go around haranguing others whom they see as lower-class. A massive nuisance, but the guys in charge don't want to get rid of them, because they donate a lot to us for these events. A bunch of people from Harlem decided to take them on, including in a few fights in the wild, and sometimes it erupts like this during worship."

"That's terrible. I'm sure it's disturbing other believers here, including yourselves. However, you seem to have brought in a healthy crowd tonight, many races, many denominations, and I'm sure you're doing your best to, um, heal the separation?"

"'Heal the separation'? That's a good way of putting it. I'd hope so, but as you can see there's no telling when struggles will break out again. We have been doing our best, though, and the theme for the current speakers is 'Unity and Tolerance,' as an attempt to ameliorate the conflicts. It's our aim to make this as functional and welcoming a place for people to exercise their human need for God and religion, without people being turned away."

Having some idea of what the conflict was about, Crucis could now make out the words to some of the shouting and screeching from the other side of the building. A lot of it was in dialects that he didn't understand, or were difficult to decipher from the distance, but he did manage to understand a bit of what was being said.

"You know, 'e said a camel! You a camel, ain't passin' through no needle!"

"Shut up, pipsqueak. How are you going to worship God if you can't respect your betters? Obviously, Jesus was speaking in a metaphor, but you knuckleheads wouldn't be able to understand that."

"You sayin' Lord Jesus wrong? Ay, you sayin' that, asshole?"

"Look, you're too dumb to understand. You should just listen to us, we're educated, not like you guys. In fact, didn't you just fight one of our friends earlier? How can savages like you understand our religion?"

"If you oppress us, we gonna fight back! And you hit first, didn't ya?"

Crucis sighed. "These guys are just going back and forth, it sounds like. Hopefully they'll listen to reason, but it'll be difficult for them to accept."

"Yeah," replied the wiry man. "You should try talking to them, it's like talking to a wall. Each side will just blame everything on the others, it's such a morass. I mean, we really could just bar them from events until they cool down, but realistically the higher-ups will only expel the lower-class ones, since the others donate too much rare stuff. And then the rich guys will just find new people to bully. So our hands are tied a bit. By the way, thanks for your concern, my name is Ryan, I'm a Canadian living in Britain. It's nice to find a sane voice out here."

"It's difficult to remain sane down here, so don't count on it," Crucis smiled. "But I will try my hardest, since, as the speaker said, the Lord is with us even here."

"Precisely. He's called Andrew Mercer, I believe, a good man who used to work as a deacon in the UK. Did you miss some of his speech?"

"Yes, but it had a really stirring ending, I'm curious what I missed."

"That can happen. These are the early speeches, people are still filtering in. He was trying to discourage division based on race and nation, and giving a message of hope in the kingdom to reassure people here."

"It makes sense. People here don't have what they typically identify with: money, status, social group. So they're going to pay more attention to whatever other elements of their identity, like race or cultural tics, they still have left. That could easily divide the worshippers, but perhaps they will be reminded that we are all gathered under the same shepherd."

"That's exactly it, plus there's competition and conflict everywhere here, so everyone is out looking for a fight. We even had to turn down the rhetoric about the war, because some guys here were getting so excitable that they ran out to fight DeathGang, then got killed. But when Father Massie gets his turn, he's going to just go off about the DeathGang 'demons' and 'devils,' there's nothing we can do about that. Hopefully we don't end up with too many people running into trouble."

"Ah, Father Massie, I've heard of him."

"Of course you have, his personal following is massive. He's built more and more support during the aftermath of the war, because people are angry and dejected. And they say that he's cast out demons, healed people who were having seizures, even cured the sick. I can't say I've seen it happen, but he's really become a major figure here in a short time... At least he's bringing people into the fold."

"Yes, definitely. Hey, is the next speaker getting on the stage?"

Crucis saw a tall man walking, in a hunch-backed position, onto the stage.

"Oh, that's Father Clarke. He's known as [TrueGodBotherer] in this game, heh."

Crucis laughed. "Nice that he wears his faith with pride."

"That he does. He's spoken before, though, I think he's just coming back to try and resolve the dispute. Even though we won't be able to get the rich guys making this ruckus kicked out, he'll probably try to calm them down slightly. Fingers crossed that it works."

"Definitely, but it'll be hard going. Hopefully the rest of the attendees learn something from what he says, though, even if the stubborn ones are unpredictable."

"Oh, sure, that's a good point. Yes, I hope so. He has a pretty direct style, he was a Protestant pastor in America but left to teach a Catholic school. Go figure."

"At least he's probably seen a lot of bickering."

"Yeah, that's true. Hopefully he'll be able to solve this."

Crucis listened as the man on the stage began speaking, with a large, white dress billowing as he gestured to the crowd to stay quiet. The speech began with a slightly slow-paced, schoolmasterly tone, as if trying to gently reprimand the people arguing, who had begun to quiet as they saw the speech beginning.

"I would like to remind you not to let wealth divide you, or to try and set division between wealthy or poor, white-collar and blue-collar, in the church of God. For both rich and poor can be believers. In the early church, many wealthy people made contributions and aided the Apostles, including women such as Lydia and Priscilla. These are recorded in the Book of Acts, and even sometimes mentioned in the epistles. However, Jesus and his disciples were poor. Both have a place in the church.

"As it says in Leviticus, "You shall not be partial to the poor or defer to the great." But I know that some of you are skeptical, you fear that the rich man will be prideful, and you are afraid to speak out. And some of you, who are rich, do not wish to support our worship wholeheartedly, because you despise the presence of people whom you consider, as it was known in India, 'untouchable.'"

There were a few jeers and cheers from the crowd, who were sick of the argument, but Crucis was surprised to see that some of the posh faction in the shouting match had actually decided that the speaker was agreeing with them.

"That's so true!" one shouted, in a stuffy voice. "You explain it to them, they won't listen to us! They were even trying to distort the words of scripture, to try and tear us down!"

"Yeah, they didn't get a 'metaphor'!" another added, not really seeming clear about what a 'metaphor' was, but repeating the term which he had heard a friend use earlier.

"They always do this," Ryan sighed. "They think we're on their side, so do the other guys who get angry and suspicious at us. We just can't win."

The speaker, Clarke, sighed, seeing that he wasn't getting through to them.

Taking a straight, showman-like posture, he began to speak at length.

"Please do not think that I am here to fight for you, just because you are wealthy. I am here to try and help everyone here find the path to the kingdom of God. For that, I must preach against division among believers, and so far as I can see you are being as divisive as your opponents. If you are rich, you must still dedicate yourself to the Lord, and not use this worship as an occasion to fluff yourself up with pride."

He cleared his throat slightly, concerned that he might be coming across as mildly angry. He resumed in a more rehearsed, animated voice, which, Crucis thought, sounded only slightly more restrained than Mickey Mouse.

"Remember the word of our Lord. He said, a rich man entering Heaven would be more difficult than a camel passing through the eye of a needle. But how is this possible?

"Think about it, a camel is larger than me, a camel is massive. But the eye of a needle? Tiny, you can barely see it. How can something which takes up so much space pass through something so small? That doesn't make sense, people would say! It defies the laws of physics!

"And why should a camel even care about trying to pass through the eye of a needle? A camel is majestic and strong, it can walk through large deserts and cities. It surely has more important things to do than focus on this impossible task! Imagine telling a camel: Stop what you're doing, and just spend your life trying to pass through the eye of a needle, because that is all that matters. How absurd would you look?

"It's such an absurd idea, that in the Talmud it is said, 'a man is never shown in a dream a date palm of gold, or an elephant going through the eye of a needle.' It isn't even possible in a dream!

"But in God, all things are possible, Jesus said. The large camel could pass through the eye of a needle, even though it takes up so much more space! Therefore, even the rich man could reach the kingdom of God.

"Why does our Lord choose the image of a camel? Why, a camel is large, it has stored up fat in its humps to use for nourishment, just like the rich man has a large store of things in this world. And these things can weigh him down, they can make it difficult for him to humble himself and pass through the small, strait gate into the kingdom of God. Jesus praises the meek, those who humble themselves before God, and it is difficult for the rich man to do this when he is tied to worldly things.

"But in God, these things are possible! Rich or poor, you may find God through piety and worship! But Jesus' path is demanding. You must humble yourself to God, and instead of self-love or love for things of this world, you must love God and your neighbour! This is how you become small enough to pass through the eye of a needle. You must ignore the demands of your ego, your race, and even your creed, and become as a sunflower who follows the light of God wherever it takes him.

"Isn't it astounding? That a camel, a majestic creature that could walk miles across deserts and kingdoms, is asked instead to fit through the eye of a needle? But that is what is asked of you. You must be the camel whose gaze is always fixated on the needle, determined to pass through its eye.

"And this too shall be done! Your hope is not in vain! So do not look down on your wealthy brethren, but admire them for their miraculous struggle, and assist them. Do not look down on the poor, for, with nothing to chain them to earth, they can more freely dedicate themselves to the pursuit of God. Both rich and poor must play their part in the church.

"And remember, love your neighbour as yourself. Do not put him down, or denigrate him. Do not quarrel, as you have done.

"Finally, thank you for your donations to our church here. Many people trapped in here have been starved for the word of God, and you are doing a lot to uplift them. We have some items here that are very rare, the people who gave them must have been rich. But they have shown that it is possible to keep God in your heart, whether you are wealthy or not, and even, as the last speaker said, in despair. So I exhort you to embrace your fellow believers, regardless of their wealth and poverty, regardless of their circumstances on earth."

At the end of the speech, the posh faction of the shouting match were exultant.

"Yeah, see? They just thanked us! Now apologise to us, bow at our feet!" one shouted.

"I know. See, there's so much nuance in what Jesus said. I told you it wouldn't get through your skulls!" another piped up.

Their opponents were less loud, seemingly suspicious about the speaker's intent. It sounded like the speech didn't really involve them, it was all about how the others could find salvation. And they didn't trust people easily, even though the speech appeared concilliatory.

There was an argument beside the steps, and another speaker walked up. He looked younger, and had a wan, slightly sickly-looking face, along with a stiff, tall body. Crucis could see that his username was [BelowCrassus].

"Who's this?" he asked Ryan.

"I hope the speakers aren't getting too heated... That's Father Clare, he comes from a similar background to Clarke. He was also a pastor, but he resigned after his church was overrun by the prosperity gospel."

"So then he's got some bones to pick when it comes to this issue?"

"I would hope that he would leave behind his personal issues, and speak to the truth of Christian doctrine."

"Um, yes. Exactly."

Clare began to speak. "Please calm yourselves. This isn't about one side of you getting a victory to hoot about. What Father Clarke was trying to say was that you should each look to the challenge of your own salvation, because the path to salvation is troubling. If you are rich, then, as he said, it is like passing through the eye of a needle, and that means that you should not try to 'big yourselves up,' as you would say. Now, let us get to the point. In the Book of Luke, our Lord says, 'Blessed are the poor' -"

"-in spirit!" called out a voice from the crowd, who then seemingly started crowing to his opponents. "See? It's a metaphor! Just like we said! He didn't mean you guys, you aren't blessed!"

His friends began to cheer loudly, thinking that Clare had just delivered them a decisive victory.

Clare, after being cut off, stood unmoving, and Crucis could see that he was trying to hide a flash of frustration. He was clearly a man who had been trying to get away from this kind of class-based Christianity, and now didn't have a choice.

The furore was getting so infectious that it was even interrupting speeches. It was becoming increasingly uncomfortable to speak right now, and many in the crowd were beginning to leave, tired of this whole dispute.

After calming himself, Clare began to speak in monotone.

"Excuse me, the word of God is not negotiable. It doesn't matter if you call it a 'metaphor,' or try to mollify it, you have no right to haggle with the Lord like an Eastern salesman does with a tourist. And yes, he did say, 'Blessed are the poor.' 'Blessed are the poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are ye that hunger now, for ye shall be filled.' And, 'woe unto you that are rich! for ye have received your consolation.' But I recuse myself. The word of the Lord also says, 'Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you! for so did their fathers to the false prophets.' I don't wish to be praised or cheered like this. Goodbye."

He walked solemnly off the stage, and a few in the audience went up to him to console him, before they left.

"The next speaker's from Korea," Ryan said, trying to put on a semblance of enthusiasm. "This has been a mess so far, huh. But Clare's display has seemingly caused the argument to die down slightly, since both sides are sheepish... They'll start up again, but hopefully won't disturb the next guy, he's chirpy and I enjoyed talking to him earlier."

"Sounds good. But, even if it's been difficult, I think there were some important points made," Crucis replied. "And I don't think anyone will blame you for the argument. There's not much that can be done with that lot. If you give them an inch, they'll take a mile and proclaim it a victory."

"Well, perhaps it is our fault, we shouldn't have given them an inch."

"You give them less than that, they'll take an inch, then take a mile. One could say they 'have received their consolation.'"

Ryan laughed. "Yeah, I suppose so. Anyway, this next guy's a treat, let's see if people can get used to him."

A Korean man, who was fairly tall and almost gaunt, bounded onto the stage and quickly took the microphone.

Walking with a spring in his step across the stage, he began speaking.

"You all have busy eyes. Restless eyes. Reckless eyes. Eyes that have spent too long exposed to the everyday ills of the world, ills that your culture has names for: the 'rat race,' secularism, a culture of instant gratification, 'I'm alright, Jack,' the love of money, 'every man for himself,' culture war. And I'm sure you could tell me many more. Amidst this bustle, who has time to consider his eternal soul?"

He paused for a few seconds. There were a few jeers in the crowd, but this was muted. He went on as if they hadn't happened.

"The world provides us all of this stress, just to distract our eyes from God. And it gives us two commandments. The first is: do not wait on God's guidance, instead pull yourself up by your own bootstraps. The second: ignore and trample upon your neighbour. Simple commandments, and I think that most people have been exposed to them time after time, and might even have come to believe them. And so we become hyperactive, always looking to the world, always straining ourselves painfully for this or that.

"It is easy to suffer, when we think that we struggle alone. And we think that we struggle alone! But there is good news, friends.

"The human shape is just one pattern in the huge tapestry of God's creation! You were woven into the world by a loving weaver. Do not remain tied to these illusions of independence, of your private life, of your career. You are a part of the main! God has made this scenic painting of our world, do not insist on being foreign to it and disrupting its symmetry. The world is His stage, and we are players, in each challenge and struggle we must co-operate with Him so that we convey the proper meaning of His scene. And someday, he may reward us with entrance to his most fine art, the meadows and fields of Heaven.

"And there, you shall witness the artist, and see the weaving together of the strings. There, people will no longer struggle alone, nor will they obsess over things like fame and reputation, or even bonds like marriage, because they have found true communion with God and their fellows.

"For this world we live in now, compared to the brilliance and truth of Heaven, is but a play of shadows. Here's what I mean. If a man went to Heaven and came back, they would look around and, you know, think: 'This is not the real world, it is not my real life, our fields are not real fields, they are just pale reflections of Heaven.' They would remember the proclamation of our Lord: 'He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.'

"Even if you are a part of God's design, in the 'sound and fury' it is easy to feel left out, right? I'm sure that everyone has felt this, at some time. Think about it, you have, right?

"But I am here tonight to tell you something important: we are not alone. But I don't mean, please don't think so, that I have just found evidence for ET! I don't mean that there are aliens out there! Although in this place, who knows? Did you go out and see some of the stuff out there? I was in the North, I saw this rat, giant rat, bigger than me." He spread his arms, as if to display its size. "And even lizards who were like people. Some would say those are aliens! Maybe there's little green men scooting around a few miles away from here. Look, if you want to go hunting for aliens, I'm in, but not right now, alright?

"I mean that we are always accompanied by God. And God has brought us together under Him, so we are not alone, we have community on earth as well. But please don't think I only mean believers, less still believers of any one denomination. We were not meant to just form cloisters of believers, and shut ourselves away. It is important to love your neighbour, your fellows, the wretched man on the street, the weeping widow at the cemetery.

"As a beautiful hymn says, 'All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small, all things wide and wonderful, the Lord God made them all.' He made them all! Do not turn away people as sinners, or as wicked, for if you were pious, non-judgemental and loving then perhaps they would reciprocate, and show God's design within themselves. It is God's work to condemn, yet some of you would have chased out Saul of Tarsus, saying that he is a wicked, irredeemable person.

"And, indeed, most sinners do not go as far as he did in persecuting Christians. But did God coldly disparage him, hate him, laugh at his misfortunes, libel him in a news publication? No, God called him and he became a great Apostle, Paul, whose words still form a large proportion of our New Testament. Quite a story. But some people would spit on beggars in the street, on people of different churches, and even on people who 'look at them funny.'

"Maybe Satan is irredeemable, but your brother is not Satan. In fact, in the Bible, who does the Jesus refer to as Satan? St. Peter, and yet he is renowned by us. There is too much hatred among you. Listen to all voices, listen to every voice, and love all the people. Then you will see the treasure in the person whom you hated or cast aside.

"Thank you, my brothers and sisters. Let us rejoice in the lamb, and let none by barred from this rejoicing."

As this speaker left, Crucis heard the room hush in anticipation.

"Is Massie next?" he asked Ryan.

Ryan was too busy staring nervously at the stage to reply.

A middle-aged man with white hair, wearing large, white-and-green robes, walked onto the stage. He took a brief look across the room, then leaned back as if about to let loose a massive scream.

"Demons!" he shouted. "Demons have overrun this town!

"O, Lord, have mercy on us all, forgive us our sins on this day. Lord, our sins are rank, and the demons have taken up a home within our home. Our limbs are weak, and have gone limp on the battlefield. Our heels have withered until we are unwalking as snakes, and the demons have made merry and laughed to tread upon our skulls. The fortress of our hearts has not kept you inside, and now demons overrun its hollow shell! Reason's sword could not protect us from their assaults, and in vain it guarded the heart!

"But our prayers have not been in vain.

"Your vengeance shall be swift, and the demons shall be cast out! They shall be cast back into the fire!

"For salvation shall renew us.

"For divine grace shall lend new lustre to hearts that were self-sabotaged, and shall turn into fabulous weapons our swords which had broken themselves. To God shall be the glory of our victory! To God shall be the glory of our renewal! To God, and God alone!"