The Bastard First Prince Doesn't Want to Die

[Translator - Jjescus ]

[Proofreader - Starfall ]

Chapter: 152

It took longer than expected to get out of the gorge. But the return journey would be easier.

So Ik-Gyeom tightly pursed his lips and surveyed the surroundings.

The soldiers were marching forward in silence. Even though it was a short silence, it weighed heavily on his chest like a stone.

So Ik-Gyeom was still conflicted. It would not have been difficult to order a retreat and search for the main army.

What if Yegyeong was waiting for help?

Thousands of thoughts raced through his mind in an instant.

But in the end, only one remained: the possibility of Yegyeong surviving alone in the wilderness was practically nil.

He knew all too well what kind of place this was to be optimistic about Yegyeong still being alive.

What if, after sacrificing so many soldiers to find Yegyeong, they only found a mutilated corpse?

The thought chilled him to the bone. So Ik-Gyeom couldn’t bear the thought of facing such a reality.

Besides, hadn’t he seen Jincheon, without a word, accept the news of Yegyeong's death?

If it were anyone else, he might have doubted it. But Jincheon would have searched for Yegyeong until the very end. He had both the ability and the determination to do so.

The fact that Jincheon had accepted it meant that Yegyeong was truly dead.

So Ik-Gyeom looked around again, his expression devoid of any emotion.

Captain Yoo repeatedly lowered his head, his face contorted, and then forced himself to look straight ahead. He seemed to be struggling to keep his head from dropping. The other soldiers who had been with Yegyeong at the last moment were the same.

Bu-seop, in particular, caught his eye. The other soldiers seemed too intimidated by his gloomy expression to dare speak to him.

Hadn’t he said he owed his life to the main army? Recalling the story he had heard, So Ik-Gyeom felt even more upset.

If it had been Prince Jeaen, he wouldn’t have blinked an eye at the sacrifice of a single soldier.

In fact, So Ik-Gyeom could hardly imagine Prince Jeaen being at the front lines or appearing on a battlefield in the midst of a battle.

As he thought of Yegyeong, whom he hadn’t been able to take care of, or rather, had neglected, So Ik-Gyeom felt a lump in his throat.

‘Was it Eunuch Han ?’

He knew well of the existence of Han Nae-gwan, who had been by Yegyeong’s side for twenty years. Even that old eunuch, now deeply wrinkled, had once been young and clumsy when he first entered the palace.

“Please, kill me!”

At the time, the king didn’t hate So Ik-Gyeom as much as he did now.

On rare occasions, the king would invite So Ik-Gyeom to have tea with the then Queen So, and they would chat.

And the young and clumsy eunuch, who had just entered the palace, had spilled tea on the king in front of him.

“It’s because I’m short and my arms are short that I have to sit close to the table. I’m sitting close to the table, so there’s no room for this eunuch, and that’s why he made a mistake. Please forgive him for my sake.”

Thanks to that, Eunuch Han was able to survive. If the prince hadn’t interceded on his behalf, he would have been kicked out of the palace.

He was naturally gentle.

The king considered it a weakness for the eldest son to be so tearful and sympathetic, but he also hated it when Yegyeong tried to hide that side of himself.

For a while, he had decided to pretend that the son he remembered was gone, as he had become too careless with his words to those below him.

Recalling the past, So Ik-Gyeom suddenly took a deep breath. It was as if he was trying to prevent himself from showing tears.

Fortunately, no one seemed to have noticed his emotional turmoil.

So Ik-Gyeom looked at the distant mountains. A sense of guilt washed over him. He hadn’t been able to protect him. Once again, he had failed to protect him.

Even though he had been ready to do anything to protect him... or perhaps he had only believed that he was ready alone.

But what was certain was that he had vowed to fight for Yegyeong with his life.

He had been truly prepared to sacrifice everything for his only blood relative. But once again, it was not him who had sacrificed himself.

The feeling of losing the person who meant the most to him twice would never get easier, no matter how many times he experienced it, and he didn't want to go through such a tragedy just to get used to the pain. The pain tore at his heart.

However, at this moment, So Ik-Gyeom had no time to dwell on his sorrow.

They had to keep moving forward. Even though the person involved could no longer be with them, he wanted to at least succeed in the expedition and record its achievements in history as Yegyeong's.

Then, there was a commotion at the rear of the procession. A soldier ran up and reported the cause of the disturbance.

"Jincheon?" So Ik-Gyeom frowned. A doubt, or perhaps a hope, blossomed in his heart. "Bring him here."

As soon as So Ik-Gyeom commanded, Jincheon arrived before him. The sight of four soldiers struggling to drag a noticeably small boy was comical.

"What's going on?"

Every time Jincheon came into view, So Ik-Gyeom couldn't help but imagine Yegyeong's final moments, so he had deliberately kept Jincheon far away from him.

Yet, Jincheon had ended up near him.

Jincheon was panting. It was the first time So Ik-Gyeom had seen his face so red. For the first time, Jincheon looked his age.

A reckless, immature kid who couldn't control his emotions...

As he thought that, a shadow fell over So Ik-Gyeom's face.

‘And I neglected that child when he was around the same age as him.’

So Ik-Gyeom gritted his teeth to hide his surging regret and asked, "I asked what the commotion was about. Answer me."

Jincheon gritted his teeth like a beast and said,"...I'm going to find His Highness. Please let me go."

He looked like an untamed wild animal, just like when So Ik-Gyeom had first brought him to his manor.

"Are you trying to desert?"

Jincheon flinched.

"How can it be desertion when I'm going to save my lord?"

Jincheon didn't stop struggling to break free from the other soldiers who were holding him.

The four soldiers who couldn't handle just one child and Jincheon's reckless behavior in front of the general drew everyone's attention.

So Ik-Gyeom simply stared at Jincheon with a cold expression.

"Are you going to keep going? Why waste your energy like that?"

For a moment, So Ik-Gyeom's eyes wavered.

"...How can I believe that you would go to look for him?"

Seeing the general unable to mention the main army, Jincheon stopped struggling. So Ik-Gyeom was right. There was no point in wasting his energy here.n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

"...You."

So Ik-Gyeom's breathing was shallow. Jincheon realized that the general's expressionless face was not truly emotionless.

"Do you believe that he is alive?"

The fiery look in Jincheon's eyes turned cold as if cold water had been poured over them. Jincheon didn't answer. There was nothing to say.

Jincheon was as good at determining when an enemy was incapacitated as he was at fighting. It was needless to say that no one could match Jincheon in reading an opponent's aura.

So it didn't make sense for Jincheon not to know the truth. He was more confident than anyone else that he knew the result.

"Do you believe it, or did you assume it?"

When Jincheon remained silent, So Ik-Gyeom asked again.

"Do you truly believe he will return?"

Jincheon had lost even the few excuses he had come up with after being hit with such a precise question.

Based on what he had seen and experienced, Yegyeong was dead. He was certain there was no possibility of survival.

But he kept thinking about the possibility. What if he survived? What if he could come back someday?

Jincheon had already experienced a miracle. Escaping from the life of a slave that he thought he would never be able to escape from and being given a place to belong was a miracle to him.

There was no guarantee that he wouldn't experience another miracle. So he wanted to believe.

"If you believe..."

So Ik-Gyeom hesitated to continue. Jincheon looked up.

"I will believe too."

Jincheon was surprised by the unexpected words.

It was a strange experience to have a commander from a different background understand his intentions so well.

"Let's believe it. Then, what do you think you should do? What can you prepare for when he returns as you believe he will someday?"

Jincheon wavered at those words. The resentment in his eyes gradually subsided. He turned his head and looked at the sword at his waist.

It was a gift from Yegyeong. The general seemed to want him to be his sword. Even though he hadn't said it out loud, it was impossible not to notice.

Jincheon excelled most at swordsmanship, and Yegyeong had always looked out for him, even when he acted recklessly. Jincheon was grateful for this privilege, even if it wasn't free.

"I'm sorry. Please punish me. I'll accept it."

Jincheon bowed his head. The soldiers who had been holding Jincheon exchanged glances and quietly let him go.

Still, Jincheon didn't run away. So Ik-Gyeom nodded silently.

"You will be punished according to military law. And we will continue our journey."

So Ik-Gyeom watched Jincheon being led away for a moment before continuing forward. He continued his march through the winter.

‘Maybe he will return someday…’

But unlike Jincheon, So Ik-Gyeom had already lost someone precious and couldn’t rely on vague hopes like Jincheon.

Rather, his determination was closer to preparing a grand funeral.

‘What a fool.’

He felt a little guilty for deceiving Jincheon with a few words and making him calm down.

But paradoxically, So Ik-Gyeom was a little envious of Jincheon. It was less painful to cling to a false hope than to forcibly hold together a crumbling heart. He resented the fact that he couldn’t even do that.

He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them and looked around. He wondered if this was all a dream.

"General, are you tired?" His aide asked. The aide, who had been with him for a long time, was the only one who could speak to the general in this somber atmosphere.

So Ik-Gyeom shook his head.

"Don't you know that old people don't sleep much?"

"Well, I can't even remember the last time I dreamed."

So Ik-Gyeom nodded silently.

[Translator - Jjescus ]

[Proofreader - Starfall ]