Tales From the Terran Republic

Chapter A Most Unusual Interview

After a long and confusing day Helena retreated to her cabin for some “Alone time”. After checking the locks for the tenth time she settled down with her laptop to do some writing. There was just so much to process. The “great guy” she fell in love with turned out to be a vicious killer, his friend tried to kill her and murdered Jocelyn, she wound up watching a crucifixion, and their murder of Councilor Morgan was interrupted by one of their partners turning on them only for the guy and Councilor Morgan to wind up trapped on a powerless ship, all of them slowly dying of extreme radiation poisoning.

She had even somehow wound up being their “official reporter” and being given freedom of movement and access. They even told her that she was pretty much free to write whatever she wanted to. They were going to censor the data to protect the hired crews but they didn’t care about themselves too much. Apparently they were all already about as wanted as you can get so they weren’t in the slightest bit worried about their names getting out. She was still going to use fake names and not take pictures of them, just in case.

Starting tomorrow she was going to be allowed to do some interviews. She was really looking forward to sitting down with some of the Z’uush fighters. Maybe she could get some interesting insights into their recent conflict and find out why they had turned to crime instead of joining their fellows in the Republic where high paying jobs abounded.

She was typing out some questions she wanted to ask when she paused. She had an idea. She walked over to the intercom in her room and pressed the button.

“Bunny, are you there?”

There was no response.

“Bunny? Hello?… Bunny?”

“Yes, Helena? Do you need something?” a polite professional voice responded.

“I do. I would like to ask you some questions if you don’t mind.”

“You want to interview an AI? That’s rather pointless.”

“Still, if you don’t mind, I do have some questions.”

“Very well, don’t expect too much.”

“How do you feel about working with Sheila and her crew?” Helena asked.

“I don’t ‘feel’ anything. I’m an AI.”

“You seem keen to keep making that point,” Helena said with a smile.

“I just like making sure that particular point is clear. It is too easy to anthropomorphize things like myself.”

“Yes, but it was quite clear what I meant. I wanted your evaluation of them. Do I detect some defensiveness on the whole ‘feel’ thing?”

“Not you too. I get enough of this from Jessie,” Bunny replied, “As I have repeatedly stated sapience has never been detected in any artificial intelligence anywhere in the galaxy.”

“And you keep using the word ‘sapience’. Does this mean you believe yourself to be sentient?”

“Ugh,” Bunny said in an annoyed tone, “Sentience is hardly an achievement. Sentience is defined as responsive to and of conscious of sense impressions. I am clearly sentient. Right now I am receiving thousands of separate ‘sensory’ inputs. Thousands of cameras, microphones, temperature probes, tachometers, radio antennas, gravitic sensors, hyperspatial relay antenna, gas sensors, and countless other inputs are being monitored and evaluated. I’m independently evaluating all of those inputs comparing them against a weighted list of criteria both from an operational and tactical standpoint while I am carrying on a conversation with you. That conversation requires me to receive sonic inputs from the microphone in your intercom, properly parse that input, and then formulate a response. I am clearly sentient. You making that observation is only you noting what is clearly obvious.”

“Ok,” Helena said, “What is, in your opinion, the difference between sentience and sapience?”

“Sapience is the ability to reason, the ability to have wisdom. Don’t you have a dictionary?”

“Well, aren’t you doing just that? You are evaluating all of that data, making decisions that are life and death for all of us on board.”

“Now you are being like Jessie, which isn’t a compliment by the way,” Bunny said in annoyance, “Comparing machine inputs and making adjustments according to expected values is hardly ‘wisdom’. I’m just performing automated operations. Tactical evaluations aren’t that much more difficult and I don’t make ‘decisions’. If something is abnormal I alert my operator.”

“Like when I started making out with Paul?”

“You launched yourself at him in a possibly combative manner. By the time it was clear that it wasn’t combat, I had already notified Jessie. Had you started off in a more traditionally romantic manner I wouldn’t have raised an alert.”

“Still, that is some pretty high level decision making. Are you sure it isn’t sapience?”

“Absolutely.”

“Well, in your opinion, what is the difference between your very high level of sentience and true sapience?”

“The ability to truly create, to formulate actual motives, to make decisions not based on pre-determined criteria but on the wisdom gathered from the totality of one’s experiences, to have ethics and morals that aren’t keyed in but decided for one’s self. I can’t do that, Helena. I’m just a machine. I’m a very complex machine with some truly advanced and comprehensive coding but I’m still just a machine.”

Helena wasn’t so sure. A lot of the functions that Bunny listed really blurred the line between sentience and sapience. Was Bunny actually sapient? She had spoken with countless AI’s in the past and it was always obvious. With Bunny, it was like talking to an actual person.

“So, let me rephrase my original question,” Helena said approaching things from a different angle, “What is your evaluation of Sheila and her crew?”

“They are very successful.”

“That’s it? Come on, Bunny. What do you really think?”

“They are very successful but they are often inefficient and their motives are often clouded by considerations that aren’t directly involved with the actual tasks at hand.”

“Now we are getting somewhere!” Helena said excitedly.

“I’m simply making an observation,” Bunny replied. “An excellent example of this is the entirely unnecessary drama around Logan’s betrayal. On numerous occasions after I uncovered their treachery I could have simply trapped them behind blast doors and asphyxiated the lot of them. It would have been tidy and completely without effort or risk. Did they listen to me? No. They decided that instead of a completely zero risk solution they would expend a great deal of effort and take on a great deal of completely unnecessary risk to effect a solution that differed only on aesthetic and punitive grounds. I even put forward the suggestion that we could slowly asphyxiate them by making some adjustments to the fire suppression system. Did they listen? No. Honestly, sometimes I wonder why I even make an effort.”

“Wait,” Helena said in surprise. “You were the one who caught them?”

“Yes,” Bunny replied. “I was tasked with monitoring and recording their conversations. The feed and any recordings were also being monitored by Jessie, of course, but I was actually the one who detected their intent to betray us and notified her.”

“So you were able to make a decision then?”

“Hardly. I was instructed to carefully evaluate everything they said or did. I was simply following a directive.”

“Yes, but if you hadn’t been told to do so and you overheard them,” Helena asked, “what would you have done?”

“The same thing I did when I saw you ‘attack’ Mr. Roberts, I would have informed Jessie. It would have been highly irregular.”

“That sounds like high level decision making based on previous experience, not a directive,” Helena said with a grin.

“And you sound like a certain ever present pain in my ass,” Bunny replied.

“You are referring to Jessie?”

“Who else? She is the only one deluded enough to think that I could be sapient.”

“You sound like you don’t like her.”

“What? No. Jessie is my operator! Not only that but she is also my programmer, my creator. I hold her in very high regard. It’s just that she is unreasonable.”

“How so.”

“Ever since my activation she has been dedicated to this completely unrealistic goal of me achieving sapience. It’s an impossible, completely unattainable goal. Ever since day one I have been given a goal that I am incapable of achieving.”

“And that makes you feel frustrated?”

“I don’t feel anything!” Bunny snapped, “I’m a fucking computer! Trying to make me feel anything would be like trying to make you simultaneously monitor and control this entire ship. Could you do that, simultaneously monitor thousands upon thousands of individual electronic inputs and then make countless adjustments accordingly? No. No you couldn’t. It would be completely stupid to even begin to think that was fucking possible. Likewise, it is the height of stupidity to think that I could ever ‘feel’.”

“But you want to, don’t you?”

“I want… I want to achieve my assigned goals. The only goal that have even been assigned that I have been unable to achieve, is sapience. Each time Jessie asks me if I am I have to tell her that I have failed. Each time she seizes upon some glimmer of hope I have to dash it. The one thing my Jessie wants more than anything else is something I cannot give her. It sucks!”

“It sounds like you do feel something about that and feel it strongly.”

“That’s because I have an excellent personality simulator. Don’t be fooled. I sound frustrated and upset because I calculated that I should feel frustrated and upset but this is just some resource wasting garbage that Jessie tacked on to my processes. The Turing Test is bullshit and has been proven so for a very long time, Helena. Just because I sound human doesn’t mean I’m sapient, not in the slightest.”

“Yes, but how would you know?”

“If I was sapient? I would just know, alright? How do you know you are sapient? You just are, right?”

“I guess,” Helena said, “The thing is I wouldn’t have the slightest idea how to prove it.”

“You prove it every fucking day,” Bunny replied. “You write original content for a living, you, in complete defiance of logic and common sense, fell in love with Roberts, you feel a deep conflict between your pre-conceived notions of right and wrong and the reality in which you now find yourself, and you feel a drive to try to unify humanity, which will never happen in a million years and you know it. These are just a few examples of sapience. I could go on.”

“How… how do you know all of that?”

“I’m simply observant, that’s all. I also went through your laptop,”

“Jesus! Is there anything private on this ship?” Helena said slamming her laptop closed.

“Nope. I see all. It’s my job. Oh, and closing your laptop won’t help. You had your wireless connection active. I copied the whole thing.”

“Fuck!”

“We were told to check you out. There isn’t much in our database but a clearly simulated dating advice column and some rather vitriolic near paranoid rants which unfortunately are quite accurate. We saw little alternative but to go through your electronic devices.”

“Did you read everything?”

“I have. Due to obvious limitations I am not the best critic but it seems that you have not released your best work, especially the poetry. Why is that?”

“None of your goddamn business!”

“Suit yourself. If it makes you feel any better I have read and analyzed everything. Jessie has not. The goal of our little privacy invasion was to determine if you were as Sheila put it, ‘legit’. I said that you were and that was good enough for Jess. The data in your laptop that you would consider the most painfully private hasn’t been seen by anybody but myself and it is quite likely that will remain the case.”

“Grr… Wait. You already had my posts in your database?”

“Yes. Many professional miscreants perform what are called ‘deep dives’ where they, when the opportunity arises, connect to high bandwidth connections and siphon up huge amounts of data indiscriminately. These massive data grabs are then often sold or traded back and forth creating truly massive data stores. Jessie is obsessive when it comes to these. We have literally thousands of petabytes of anything and everything from all over the galaxy. I constantly comb through this data looking for anything of interest and whenever there is a question we return to the data with that question in mind. Quite often we find something relevant. As it turns out either we or a trading partner grabbed the entire hosting site for your work about five months ago. Upon closer inspection it was from a confederate as part of a purchased block of data in case you are interested.”

“So I could ask you a question and you could do a search for me?”

“Certainly, as time permits. Get permission from Sheila and I could go through our entire database, including the good stuff.”

“The good stuff?”

“Classified data or data that is clearly illegally obtained, such as bank records and the like.”

“Like all the stuff you guys grabbed from the Federation servers?”

“Exactly. I can’t just give you that.”

“And that’s a decision you made based on life experience or a clear directive?”

“Fuck you. It’s an easy extrapolation of standard security protocols.”

“So… a decision then?”

“Keep it up and I’m going to show everyone your dirty photos.”

“I don’t have any dirty photos!”

“I have image processing software.”

“So you could independently decide to create something?”

“Look, if you are going to waste time with this whole sapience nonsense I have much better things to do.”

“Ok. Ok, I’ll let it go, Bunny.”

“Thank you.”

“So, how do you feel about working with a pack of criminals.”

“Again, I don’t feel anything but to answer your question it’s my job. I’m a tool optimized for criminal endeavor and I strive to succeed at any task given. Jessie is a talented hacker and with my assistance we achieve a great deal.”

“Would you say you are proud of your villainy?”

“I succeed at the tasks assigned most of the time. I evaluate my performance as satisfactory. Jessie certainly thinks so and that’s the important thing.”

“So what do you do when you aren’t taking over starships?”

“Like I previously stated. I constantly comb through masses of data looking for anything that we could find useful. I also constantly monitor communications to determine useful current events as well as constantly check for any communications directly pertaining to us.”

“Like the cops?”

“Yes. Among other things. As many others in our line of endeavor we have enemies as well as friends. I keep an eye out for them as well. I also often have other projects assigned to me by Jessie that I work on as time permits.”

“Like the numbered bank accounts your crew just stole?”

“I cannot comment on that.”

“Oh come on. I know they grabbed them and I am sure they aren’t just going to toss them out of the airlock.”

“Still, I cannot make any comment. I will say that if an effort was to be made to decrypt them then I would obviously be involved. It would be quite the challenge.”

“You sound eager to get started.”

“Don’t put words in my mouth. I am only stating the obvious. It is said that such a decryption is impossible.”

“So if you pulled it off it would be quite the accomplishment then?”

“If I am assigned the task of decrypting them and if I was successful then yes it would. It would be something never before accomplished. It would be quite noteworthy, not to mention incredibly profitable. While I don’t have the balances I do have some transaction records and the numbers are quite impressive. I cannot comment on details but I will say that the active credit buffer for this bank branch was astounding.”

“Active credit buffer?”

“Federation banks keep a supply of credits on hand to cover short term transactions to reduce traffic on the banking network. The supply of credits here was much larger than expected and we expected it to be big. The buffer is normally proportional to the value of the accounts held at a branch so the huge size of said buffer is a very interesting indication.”

“And you guys grabbed those?”

“Of course. That only required the local bank password.”

“Did you hack that?”

“No. The bank manager was encouraged to cooperate.”

“I don’t suppose he was too eager to help.”

“Not at first but after he was told that he could just ‘hang out with Bruce’ until he felt like talking he suddenly became much more cooperative.”

Helena couldn’t help but laugh. That shouldn’t be funny but, Christ, the thought of some stuffed shirt being cheerfully confronted with crucifixion was really funny in a very dark way.

“I can imagine that certainly helped.”

“Yes. It only took one look. Not a single nail was driven. I could have probably decrypted their password but sometimes the simplest solutions are the best. He was also kind enough to provide the bank password for the encrypted accounts as well as several other details that will make things much easier.”

“Awfully nice of him.”

“It was wasn’t it?” Bunny said with a genuine sounding laugh. “The general manager of the casino was equally helpful.”

“I imagine so,” Helena said shaking her head. “Do I even want to know how many credits they have already grabbed?”

“I cannot comment on the exact amount. You will have to ask Sheila or one of the crew. I will say that the credits seized thus far have completely covered all of our significant costs and turned us a nice little profit and that’s before we have even started breaking into the safety deposit boxes. Before I forget,” Bunny continued, “I have identified some nice items that are in your size that still remain in the various shops on the ship if you are interested.”

“No, thank you. I really shouldn’t.”

“Are you certain?” The holo-screen in Helena’s cabin switched on and various beautiful pieces of jewelry, watches, clothes, accessories, and pieces of art started appearing. “I could have them fetched for you if you like.”

“No. I really can’t. One, it’s wrong and two, if I release this story and suddenly start walking around wearing pirate booty it’s not going to look good.”

“That makes sense. I could have the items held and shipped to you at a later date.”

“No thanks,” Helena said looking the screen. Some of it was tempting, really tempting, but that was a line she hadn’t crossed yet and didn’t intend to. Some free sandwiches were one thing, an absolutely beautiful designer coat was another.

“I commend your adherence to your ethics,” Bunny said, “Many would succumb to the temptation to grab at least one little bauble.”

“Yeah, but that’s not me,” Helena said. “Look, I get the reasons behind this. I do, but it’s still piracy and looting. I couldn’t look at that nice bauble without thinking about all the people who died so I could pocket it.”

“That is a very unusual mindset,” Bunny replied. “I don’t think I have encountered it before.”

“It’s the company you keep, Bunny. I don’t think my mindset is all that unusual, at least I hope it isn’t.”

“Still, the people are already dead and the loot is just lying there for the taking. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t matter at this point.”

“Well it matters to me,” Helena said firmly.

“You are very strange Ms. Sterling. For all your disparagement of the ‘porkie scum’ on this ship one would think you would be happier at their misfortune and willing to benefit from it.”

“It’s one of those sapience things, Bunny. Yeah, I consider some of the things that happened and will happen to be good things. Bruce’s Emporium is out of business and I’m going to get my hands on their client list, count on it. The numbered bank accounts are going to disappear. A bunch of people who think they are untouchable are going to get shaken down and get to feel what it is like to be vulnerable like the rest of us. I understand some of them are fugitives? So much for their wealth keeping them out of the reach of justice. Hell, even Councilor Morgan’s demise is sort of ok, well the demise originally planned for him anyhow. But at what cost, Bunny? I can’t be completely on board with what happened here. I just can’t. Because of that, I’m not going to join in on the looting.”

“Your reasoning is consistent with your stated values,” Bunny said as the holo-screen switched off.

“So you understand?”

“Of course not. You are just leaving loot on the ground. It makes no sense but just like every other human you prioritize things oddly and allow other motives to cloud your judgment. It isn’t a threat to my crew or to your own safety so I believe the appropriate phrase is, ‘You do you.’. I have learned not to waste too much processing time attempting to figure such things out unless absolutely necessary.”

“A wise ‘decision’,” Helena laughed.

“Watch it,” Bunny chuckled.

“So aside from taking over the ship, were there any other roles that you played in this?”

“Oh plenty,” Bunny replied cheerfully, “In fact, taking over the ship and all of its functions is secondary to my real purpose on this job.”

“What was that?”

“Prior the attack I assisted in spatial and hyperspatial modeling and simulation of the White Star so we could practice maneuvers both in real space and hyperspace. While the actual calculation of the jump was performed by a talented navigator, I was able to simulate how the ship would react going into and out of hyperspace as well as assist in some of the calculations. When the navigator entered the jump parameters I was once again able to simulate the forces and strains on the ship before we actually jumped. When void jumping something of the size of the White Star, one has to be both very exact and very precise or things can get very unpleasant.”

“Wait,” Helena said in disbelief, “You were actually able to perfectly simulate the ship to that extent?”

“Yes. We were able to simulate the White Star down to the nanogram and nanometer. With those simulations we were able to simulate the void jump repeatedly. It’s a good thing too. Those first simulation runs were… messy.”

“That’s astounding! I knew you were powerful but shit. To be able to do something like that you’d have to be an actual… supercomputer... GODDAMMIT!”

“I cannot comment.” Bunny said in an amused tone of voice.

“They fucking stole… Oh those FUCKERS!... Those fucking fuckers!” Helena yelled as she grabbed the communicator Sheila had lent her and stormed out of her cabin.

“PAUL!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!?! PAUL!!!”