Seeking Happiness

Chapter 148 The hidden ugliness

Gu Xuan was still screaming and venting and stubbornly refused to believe anything Gu Da had said.

When she finally calmed down, she heard an old and tired voice say, "He didn’t lie to you. You better believe it."

Gu Xuan turned her head and saw that old madam was sitting on a bamboo chair outside of the pavilion. At her side were Gu Xihe, Gu Yun and also two maids who lifted the chair. However, the maids looked awkward and extremely fearful. They knew that they had heard something that they shouldn’t have heard. They were very nervous, but old madam hasn’t spoken, so, they didn’t dare to retreat.

"Lift me over to there," Old madam gave them a faint look. After she was lifted to the pavilion did she say, "Retreat."

The two maids felt relieved from a burden and hurriedly retreated. This time, the most embarrassed person became Gu Da. It was a very disgraceful thing that he had wore a green hat. He originally intended to bring this matter to his grave. In the whole household, except from old madam and Lin shi who were the ones he couldn’t keep it a secret from, no one else knew. Now, because of impulse, he exposed this in front of his children. Thinking about it after the fact, his old face couldn’t help but redden. However, he couldn’t show it. He could only tighten his face, put his hands behind his back, looked at the sky and pretended to stand there as if everything was fine.

However, it happened that Gu Xihe didn’t give him face and said innocently without harm, "Master, since third big sister isn’t your flesh and blood. You still raised her for so many years?"

One sentence made Gu Da unable to hide his embarrassment. His old face reddened, paled and turned purple. The color was very beautiful.

Shu Huan casted Gu Xihe a glance. This kid did it on purpose, right? After staying in such a big vat like Gu household for a long time and got used to the fighting and schemes between the wives and concubines, he wasn’t so pure and innocent.

Old madam obviously also thought so. She warningly glared once at him. "Do you want to be slapped? What nonsense are you sprouting?"

Gu Xihe stuck out his tongue, hid behind old madam and didn’t spoke anymore.

In these past few days, only after so many things had happened at home did he realize that the schemes he had encountered before were not worth mentioning compared to these. This made him look somewhat down upon this father who he already didn’t feel close to. He knew that speaking to ridicule (GD) wouldn’t do him (GXH) any good at all, he still couldn’t help himself from wanting to tear down his (GD) sanctimonious cloak and wanted to see him get angry without a change of expression.

After old madam reprimanded Gu Xihe, she turned and saw that Gu Xuan was sitting on the ground and shaking her head stupefied. She (OM) knew that she (GX) still couldn’t accept this fact. She couldn’t help but sigh, "Since this is already made in the open, I also don’t want to keep it from you anymore. I might as well make it clear."

As she spoke, she turned and looked at the others. She said helplessly, "You all also listen well. Be more alert in your hearts. Family shames must not be spread abroad. After listening to this, let it die in your heart. No one is allowed to let it get out."

"Yes...," Gu Xihe answered loudly and clearly. Even Gu Yun couldn’t take it anymore and rolled her eyes at him.

Gu Da’s expression darkened even more. Since the matter involved himself and also his face had been swept; how would he still have the confidence to reprimand his son? He pretended that he didn’t hear it, humphed coldly once and turned his face.

Old madam also ignored him (GXH). She spoke straight to Gu Xuan, "Your mother was originally a singing girl who sang outside. Her appearance was excellent. When master accidentally saw her, he fell in love with her and had to take her into the house. Because of this, he argued with me. I was afraid that this would harm the reputation of the family and insisted that if he wanted to take in a concubine, he could take in a woman of a respectable family and not someone who showed her face in the public. He couldn’t win the argument and could only agree. Who would’ve thought that in the next moment, he rented a house outside and quietly provided for your mother. Even when your mother got pregnant, he still didn’t dare to let me know about it. In the end, he only admitted it after I heard some rumors and begged me to let your mother give birth at our residence."

His loose and preposterous ways of when he was young had been uncovered in front of his children. He somewhat couldn’t listen to it anymore. He took the cane and did as if he wanted to take a stroll. He walked to the outside of the pavilion.

Old madam sighed and continued, "Since she was already pregnant, no matter if it was a boy or a girl, legitimate or illegitimate, it was still the flesh and blood of our Gu household. I got soft-hearted and let you mother enter the household. I was afraid that she would cause a scene and sent a confidante maid over to serve her. However, your mother had sold singing from a young age and was used to adopt different attitudes and measures under different circumstances and understood how to be politely and eagerly attentive. Hence, at that time, the family was still considered peaceful. No fights or trouble had happened. After she gave birth to you, she was still favored. Until when master had taken in another concubine did he desolate her a bit."

Talking till here, old madam frowned. It was a scandal after all. To be able to tell it, she had to pull down this face. Therefore, after she was silent for a long time, Gu Xuan couldn’t help but urge, "What had happened afterwards?"

She was also anxious to know the truth.

Old madam casted her a glance and continued, "Afterwards, when I saw that she lost favor but she didn’t complain or cause a scene, I began to like her. I often called her over to serve at my side. It happened that she liked children and treated Xitian who was raised in my yard very warmly. Sometimes when she didn’t come, Xitian would run to her courtyard to find her. As the times became more, it was inevitably that he would encounter that scandal."

She said it ambiguously. Gu Xuan sneered, "What scandal?"

"What other scandal could it be?" Old madam put on a stern face and said coldly, "Your mother also panicked at that time and also used dessert to coax Xitian to not tell anyone. However, it happened that at that time Xitian was almost Xihe’s age. How could he not understand what had happened? He got angry and told master in the next moment about it. Master got so angry that he collapsed. When he called her over for a questioning, she still refused to admit and said that Xitian lied to harm her. Until when things of an unfamiliar man were found in her room did she had nothing to say."

Gu Xuan was dumbstruck after hearing this. At that time, she was still a very young kid. Aside from the fact that her mother was beaten and left for death left a profound impression on her, she really couldn’t remember the other things.

Old madam also knew that she didn’t remember. She (OM) paused on purpose to wait for her (GX) to sort out her thoughts before she continued, "You probably has some impression about what had happened afterwards. It was that your mother had been beaten and master let someone carry her back. Because of anger went over his head, he didn’t let people invite a doctor over and let her to emerge or perish on her own."

Gu Xuan sobbed with tears, "Then it was a lie that my mother caused eldest big brother to fell into the water?"

Old madam nodded and said, "Was it necessarily to publicize this kind of scandal that had happened at home? I can only blame master and think of a way to cover up this matter. Every servant who knew about this had been sold to far away. Then, I made up the story that your mother intentionally pushed Xitian into the water and that her heart was too black. This matter was quietly covered up like this."

Having talked till here, she looked deeply at Gu Xuan and said, "As for you, who had the heart to take action against an ignorant child? I made a statement to raise you as my granddaughter. It was just that master didn’t love you and everyone could see that. Hence, you received cold treatment from ever since you were young. I was clear about these, but I won’t stand up for you. I also keep telling you that your mother had died from sickness to see whether you remember your mother’s death and whether you have any hidden resentment. I didn’t expect that your thoughts were already so deep even at such a young age. You usually do what one said, was docile and had an unperturbed character. You had never argued with anyone. Even I had an error in judgement and didn’t see anything wrong from you. Otherwise, how could I have allowed you to do such an unforgivable thing?"

Although, she tried to maintain self-control and wanted to let herself stay calm, but after having said that, the way she looked at Gu Xuan had disgust that no matter how she tried she couldn’t hide it. If she could, she wished to never see Gu Xuan again in this lifetime. She didn’t want to remember the matter that had been buried for more than a decade and that had led Gu household to a complete chaos.