Reincarnated as the Villainess’s Unlucky Bodyguard

Being dragged into the principal's office once was bad enough. Twice in one week? A new low, even for me.

Seraphis sat behind her massive obsidian desk, fingers steepled, eyes glowing with a mix of annoyance and amusement. It was almost as if she was expecting this or worse, as if she was enjoying it.

"You again," she said, her tone as sharp as a blade. "Miss Silverthorn, I believe this is becoming a habit."

"Well, you know me," I replied with a forced grin. "Always striving to be memorable."

[Note: 'Memorable' in this context translates to 'a disaster magnet.']

"Not helping!" I hissed under my breath.

Seraphis raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Nothing! Just, uh, clearing my throat."Nôv(el)B\\jnn

Beside me, Kaelos and Serina were fidgeting, their earlier bravado now reduced to awkward silence. Meanwhile, Ananara was perched on the edge of the desk, looking smug as usual.

"I warned you about her," the pineapple piped up. "Menace to society, I said. But does anyone listen to me? Nooo."

"Would someone please remove that fruit from my desk?" Seraphis snapped.

"Excuse me," Ananara shot back, rolling toward her. "I'm not just a fruit; I'm a sentient being with dignity—"

"You're my sentient being," I interrupted, grabbing him and holding him under my arm like a sack of potatoes. "Let's not get you incinerated today."

Seraphis pinched the bridge of her nose, a vein visibly throbbing in her temple. "Miss Silverthorn, would you care to explain why my courtyard looks like it hosted a gladiator match?"

"Well, technically—"

"Don't." Her golden eyes bore into mine. "Think very carefully about what you're going to say."

"Fine," I muttered. "There was a minor disagreement—"

"A minor disagreement?" she repeated, incredulous. "Kaelos was dangling from a vine, Serina had scorch marks on her cloak, and you—you were swinging a flaming sword like it was a parade baton!"

Kaelos, finally finding his voice, muttered, "To be fair, she did start it."

"Oh, please," I shot back. "You were the one who—"

"Enough!" Seraphis's voice cracked like a whip, silencing us instantly. She leaned forward, her expression cold. "This behavior is unacceptable. From all of you."

Kaelos and Serina looked appropriately chastened, but I crossed my arms, refusing to be cowed. "I was just doing my job."

"Your job is to protect Enara," Seraphis said, her tone icy. "Not to incite chaos every time someone breathes in your direction."

"She was being harassed!" I protested. "What was I supposed to do, bake cookies for them?"

[Suggestion: Diplomatic cookies might have been more effective than your flaming sword routine.]

"You're the worst," I thought angrily at the system.

"Let me make this clear," Seraphis continued. "You are not here to start fights. You're here to ensure Enara's safety. Do I make myself understood?"

"Yes, ma'am," I muttered, glaring at the floor.

"Good." She leaned back in her chair, exhaling slowly. "Now, as for the three of you, you'll each spend the next week under supervised detention. And Miss Silverthorn?"

I braced myself. "Yes?"

"This is your second strike. One more, and I'll personally see to it that you're assigned to cleaning dragon stables for the rest of the term."

Kaelos snorted, and Seraphis's gaze snapped to him. "That goes for you too, Kaelos."

His smirk vanished instantly.

"Dismissed," Seraphis said with a wave of her hand. "And for the love of all things demonic, stay out of trouble."

We shuffled out of the office, Kaelos grumbling under his breath, Serina sulking, and me clutching Ananara, who was muttering something about filing a formal complaint.

"You're lucky to still have your head," I told him as we walked down the hallway.

"And you're lucky I didn't use my razor-sharp wit to cut her down to size," he shot back.

"You mean your dull wit?"

Kaelos turned to me, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "Great job back there, hero. You really showed everyone how to turn a bad situation into an absolute catastrophe."

I glared at him. "Keep talking, Kaelos. I'm one detention away from stable duty, but I'd happily take you down with me."

"Is that a threat?"

"More like a promise."

[Observation: This conversation is achieving nothing. Recommend cessation of hostilities.]

"Stay out of this!" I thought, my headache returning full force.

Serina, finally fed up, snapped, "Both of you, shut up. You're giving me a migraine."

"Welcome to my world," I muttered.

As we exited the building, I spotted Enara near the gates, her arms crossed and her expression one of utter exasperation.

"Well?" she said, raising an eyebrow. "How was your little field trip to Seraphis's office? Did she assign you to dragon stables yet, or is that next week's entertainment?"

"Not. A. Word," I growled, stomping past her.

Enara smirked. "Oh, don't worry. I wouldn't dream of rubbing it in."

Her laughter followed me all the way to the carriage.

As soon as we were seated in the carriage, Enara crossed her legs and fixed me with a look so smug it practically dripped off her face. I braced myself.

"You know," she began, her voice as sweet as poisoned honey, "for someone who's supposed to be my bodyguard, you spend an awful lot of time in trouble."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, please, Your Highness. Forgive me for not sitting on the sidelines while you're being harassed by a pack of wannabe bullies."

Her smirk deepened. "And did it ever occur to you that I didn't need your help?"

"Really? Because the last time I checked, you weren't exactly doing much to stop them."

Enara leaned forward, her midnight eyes glinting. "Because I was about to destroy them. But then you charged in, flailing like some half-trained maniac, and ruined it."

I threw my hands up. "Oh, I'm sorry! Next time I see you surrounded by trouble, I'll just grab some popcorn and watch the show."

"That's exactly what you should do," she said, her tone sharp. "I don't need you to fight my battles, Liria. I'm not some damsel in distress."

"No, you're not," I shot back. "You're a spoiled, arrogant brat who doesn't know when to accept help."

Enara's jaw tightened, and for a moment, I thought she might actually slap me. Instead, she leaned back, arms crossed, her voice icy. "And you're an impulsive disaster who can't think three steps ahead. If you keep this up, you're going to get us both killed."

The carriage jolted as it hit a bump, the tension between us thick enough to cut with a sword.

"Fine," I said finally, glaring out the window. "Next time, you can handle it yourself."

"Fine," she echoed, her voice dripping with disdain.

Neither of us said another word for the rest of the ride.