Pursuing My Rejected Alpha

100 Do You Love Him?

When they were young, the alpha children learned about pack wars from the werewolf history books and also from their pack elders. Back when the werewolves first came to be, there were a lot of small packs that fought for territories. Over time, the smaller packs merged into bigger packs, usually through pack marriages. Fights over territories decreased as the number of packs decreased and vacant territories were claimed one by one.

Although werewolf society evolved along with human civilization, they were still bloodthirsty beasts. When conflicts between packs arose, they quickly resorted to violence first and then peaceful discussion. Over time, peaceful discussions were encouraged and violence was repressed. When peaceful discussions no longer helped, then wars were necessary to offset the accumulated malice.

The last war that was fought was the one between the Silent Walkers Pack and the Night Prowler Pack.

How unfortunate that the next war was also between the Silent Walkers Pack and the Night Prowler Pack. Along with representatives of thirty other packs.

“You have been gone for a few years,” Ronan remarked. “Did you know anything about the war that Deacon started?”

“Only when it started and when it ended,” Lucien answered with a grim expression.

Ronan stopped stabbing at his waffles and stared at Lucien. “It is surprising that you did not try to stop Deacon.”

Lucien shook his head. “Deacon was the Alpha. I was nothing.”

Lucien did not say that because he had some kind of an inferiority complex. After losing Landon, he simply did not think of himself as a werewolf anymore. Especially after Deacon took over as the next Alpha. When Lucien left the Silent Walkers Pack, he was determined not to look back. Until of course, Kinnon killed Deacon and Lucien came back into the picture.

.....

“For someone who is nothing, you hold a great importance within the Silent Walkers Pack,” Ronan pointed out.

Lucien scoffed. “What importance? I was a useful pawn.”

“So you know,” Ronan narrowed his eyes at Lucien. “And you still planned to sacrifice yourself for your pack.”

Lucien ate his cake wordlessly.

Seeing that Lucien did not plan to continue talking about the topic, Ronan circled back to Lucien’s first question.

“To put it in simple words, we all transform and attack each other until one of the opposing sides gives up.”

“It is the fairytale that they told us when we were young,” Lucien scoffed. “I want to know the truth.”

Ronan sneered. “Well, at least you don’t hold any of those naive thoughts. It is a good start.”

“The reality of a werewolf war is that one of the Alphas must die. It is the only method of conflict resolution that is known to werewolves.

Well. In this case, you hold the position of the Alpha in the Silent Walkers Pack. You will be the target of assassination in order for the war to conclude.”

Was that the only way out of this war?

To kill each other?

Although Lucien and Kinnon were not fated to be mates in this life, Lucien hoped to at least be friends with Kinnon. Kinnon had been anything but unkind to him and Annalynne. Lucien owed him that much.

“Lucien, don’t you dare try to use your life to end the war,” Ronan warned.

Lucien scowled at the Alpha.

“Do you think I am depressed? Suicidal? What the hell are you talking about?”

“I have reason to suspect,” Ronan argued. “Let’s just prepare well for the war and go for it.”

Lucien cut into his lava cake and the chocolate sauce inside flowed out like a little river. Like blood. Kinnon’s injured figure appeared before Lucien’s eyes. He could not do it. He could not kill Kinnon.

“Ronan, I don’t want Kinnon to die.”

Ronan wrinkled his brows.

Kinnon.

It’s Kinnon again.

Ronan’s fingers curled up into fists on top of the table.

Kinnon was the Alpha of the opposing side! The one they were supposed to kill in this upcoming war! Should Lucien not be worried about his own people? Or about Ronan? Ronan was going to stand next to him, fighting one werewolf after another!

Why was Lucien worried about Kinnon? That guy was supported by sixteen other packs! Seventeen including his own!

Ronan could not take it anymore. Before he could stop himself, he already blurted out the question that he wanted to ask so many times.

“Tell me the truth, Lucien. Do you love him?”

As soon as he asked the question, Ronan wanted to bolt out of the door and disappear from Lucien’s sight until the day of the war came. He was not prepared to hear the answer at all.

Ronan was as pale as a ghost.

“Never mind, I...”

“No, I don’t,” came the answer short and clear.

Ronan’s mouth dropped open. Did Lucien just say no?

“Excuse me, what did you just say?” he asked with a hollow voice.

Lucien shot him an annoyed look. “Are you deaf? I said no, I do not love him.”

“Then, are you in love with someone else?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“...”

The Alpha was too greedy.

It was good to hear that Lucien did not love Kinnon, but it did not mean that he loved Ronan in return.

Ronan was desperate to hear it from Lucien’s mouth. He had confessed his feelings to Lucien on so many occasions, but Lucien had never once told him that he felt the same. Although Ronan kept telling Lucien that the latter could take as much time as he needed to say yes and that Ronan would wait for him no matter how long, it was still a torturous ordeal.

They were about to participate in a war against seventeen werewolf packs. Would it have killed Lucien to tell Ronan just once that he also loved him? That the affection was not lost after the third painting was finished?

He did not know that Lucien too had his insecurities.

“What about you?” the red-blonde man asked in return. Pain flickered in his caramel-brown eyes for an instant, before he gave Ronan a penetrating look. “Do you love Lillian Woodland?”