Playboy Cultivator in the Apocalypse

Chapter 355 The Nightmare of Lust

[A/N: Please do not misinterpret the chapter's title: character-related NTR themes will [never] be in any of my novels. Period. No exceptions. My anxiety can't cope.

These chapters are nightmares where Evalyn faces her greatest fear: that feeling positive emotions will turn her into a terrible person and destroy her life. The nightmares don't reflect her inner personality; they're extreme illusions drawing out emotions outside her control. The trial is coping with the emotions they illicit.

These chapters profoundly impact her happiness and relationship with Kaze. Overall, the chapters are positive. Thank you for reading!]

-

"What a strange dream…." Evalyn muttered, rubbing her eyes in the darkness as she looked at her alarm: [4:57]. Her alarm hadn't gone off, but she felt unusually alert, energized, and focused.

"Why does it feel like someone's judging me…?" she muttered. The term was 'judging' because she was accustomed to having eyes following her, and it wasn't that feeling. "Don't think about it," she sighed. "It's rude to be paranoid when people have real stalkers.

Evalyn got out of bed and entered her immaculate bathroom with gleaming white walls and a flawless glass-enclosed shower. After stripping off her black lingerie seductively and letting them drop to the floor, she heated the shower until it was impossible to see outside the glass.

As the water ran down her breasts, she felt intense sensitivity, reeling as it dripped over her mid-toned nipples. She allowed herself to crash backward, letting her ass cheeks imprint against the steamy glass without restraint, biting her lip.

Water rolled down her toned stomach and between her thighs, playfully parting her lips. "Mmmn~" she gasped, feeling her clit stimulated. "I can't wait to see you again, Kaze…. I won't hold back this time."

Evalyn's fingers moved up her inner thighs until the padding of her middle finger separated her warm, wet lips, moving up to her clit. "Ahhhhh~" she moaned, circling it. She crashed her hair against the wall, feeling unreserved pleasure for half an hour until she finally came.

After she climaxed, she allowed the water to crash down her with a serene expression. "I'm not sure why, but it feels like I haven't felt this good in a long time."

***

Evalyn looked at herself in a wall-sized mirror with a discerning expression, checking out her outfit. She wore a low-thigh-length gray plaid skirt, a black long-sleeve t-shirt, and bright white shoes. "You know, high-goth chic looks hot," she smirked, cracking up a lip gloss bottle. "If you're already hot."

***

"Good morning, Evalyn," greeted a congenial man with a graying beard and warm eyes, observing her confidently stride into the kitchen as if entering a fashion show.

"Hey there, Mr. Green," she responded, offering him a captivating radiant smile while taking a seat at the long table. "What culinary delight awaits us this morning?"

"Grilled salmon filet, six ounces, served over a cup of quinoa with a side of seasonal vegetables," Carter replied, smiling. "Enhanced with a hint of lemon, balsamic vinegar, and salt, just as you like it."

"And this is why you have the best wife in existence," Evalyn beamed, grabbing the plate. "You're the best."

"Your radiant smile and compliments brighten my morning," he said, gentle and tender. "Where does that boundless positivity come from?"

A subtle sensation washed over Evalyn's mind, hinting at something peculiar yet inconsequential.

"I have a wonderful life," Evalyn replied. "I have great food in the morning, wealth, and a bright future. It seems unfair to feel down when so many are struggling with real problems."

"That's a remarkable outlook," Carter smiled. "Sometimes I wish my wife thought as positively as you do. Even if she is'the best."

The two laughed in a jovial fashion and exchanged pleasant conversation. It felt really good for some reason. Healing almost.

"Bye, Mr. Green!" the popular tennis player sang, dashing out the door with her black purse. Her silky blonde bob, accentuated with brown highlights, gleamed like polished maple in the sunlight, contrasting with her monochromatic outfit and pink choker. This combination lent her an irresistible blend of cuteness and allure.

"Hey, Evalyn!"

"Get your camera ready, she's coming!"

"Who?"

"Evalyn! We need a photo for the outfit of the day page, remember?"

"Right, my bad!"

"How does she find time to shop for new clothes? She's a top student."

"I heard she's super rich and has personal shoppers."

"That makes sense... Such a shame. Evalyn proves that being out of someone's league is a reality."

"Quiet down! She's approaching!"

"Love that skirt!"

"Where'd you get those shoes?"

Evalyn gracefully navigated the bustling hallways of Lockheed University, bestowing warm smiles and engaging in superficial conversations that rarely extended beyond a single exchange. Despite her somewhat dismissive demeanor, no one held any ill will toward her.

Her striking beauty, keen fashion sense, stellar grades, athletic prowess, and the captivating smile left no room for resentment. While her persona was an artifice – a living, breathing narrative – everyone adored that story.

Evalyn was the embodiment of everyone's desires. She was the perfect person to be seen with at events, to show off to friends, and to introduce to families. Even if her charm was only an illusion, it fulfilled their deepest longings.

In a way, Evalyn Skye was wish fulfillment.

No one could reach Evalyn; no one even dared – except for two individuals.

"Hey, Evalyn, wait up!" a well-built, brown-haired athlete called out, sprinting down the hall. He wore blue gym shorts and a white muscle shirt.

Evalyn's expression darkened, momentarily replaced by an uncharacteristically exasperated expression that appeared almost sinister. "How many times must I reject you?" she muttered under her breath. While she didn't dislike her childhood friend, she had verbally rejected his relentless advances a dozen times since college had begun, yet he still followed her around.

"It's not your fault," she whispered. "You've been transparent and respectful, so you shouldn't feel bad for constantly letting him down. Giving in would set a dangerous example for people with stalkers; I must represent positivity."

As if by an invisible force, her feelings of negativity vanished completely, allowing her to turn around with the same sweet smile she gave everyone. "How are you doing, Greg?"

Greg halted, his heart skipping a beat after seeing her enchanting smile. "I just... wanted to wish you luck on your test today..." he said, scratching his head. "Not that you need it. It's just... I think when people see you as perfect, they might overlook the effort you put in... you know?"

Evalyn's eyes widened, and she smiled more sincerely, feeling a surge of positive emotions. It reminded her why they were still friends after childhood. She hoped he would find someone who could return his feelings and boundless kindness. He deserved—

"Oh my God, it's him!"

"Wow, that shirt is so bold."

"Jesus, he looks like a dyke in a taco line, but all the women swoon!"

"Yeah, what the hell's up with that?"

"Bro, just admit it – it's because he's ridiculously good looking. You could that guy in a headless bunny mascot suit and he'd still pull mad tail."

"Hey~Kaze!"

"Hello, lovely. You're looking charming as usual."

"What about me?"

"Your new earrings are remarkable."

"We're having party later, you're free to join!"

"While it pains me, I must decline. I have a prior engagement that I must attend to."

Greg sneered as he overheard the conversation behind him. "I can't believe women keep falling for him, even though they know he's just using his charm to get into their pants," he scoffed. "You should stay away—"

The athlete's eyes widened when he saw Evalyn's attention fixated on the charismatic black-haired teen who had recently gained popularity. "Evalyn, are you... blushing...?"

"Mhmm~" Evalyn confirmed. "I have another date with him later!"

Greg's heart splintered into countless fragments. "Evalyn... that guy's a player," he pleaded. "He chews women up and spits them out...."

"Mhmm~ mhmm~" the blonde nodded, absentmindedly agreeing with his words while pretending to listen.

"Hello, love," a mesmerizing voice called out.

Unconsciously, Greg turned and found himself face to face with the captivating, charming, and enigmatic teen he hated most.

"Hey~ Kaze," Evalyn blushed, shimming her shoulders bashfully. "Thanks again for the other night. I had a reeeeally, really good time."

"As did I," Kaze replied, flashing a devilish smile while examining her body with elevator eyes. "There are some moments that are just… special. Our time together was one of them."

"Can we cultivate again after our date?" Evalyn whispered, leaning forward and murmuring into his ear. "I want to go all the way this time….."

Greg's mind, heart, and soul shattered, leaving him feeling hollow and devastated.

Evalyn turned to the athlete with a complex expression. "What's wrong, Greg? Did something happen?"

A moment of silence followed as he collected his thoughts. "Nothing," Greg swallowed, turning and walking away with a lonely gait, his steps aimless as he navigated the hallway. Seeing his expression stabbed Evalyn's heart, making an invisible barrier around her emotions crack for the first time. It made her feel… bad. Worse than she had ever felt outside of a funeral. It stole her breath, making her anxious and wanting to run away.

"He clings to you like a parasite despite your rejections, then treats you as if you betrayed him," Kaze said, rolling his eyes. "It's like he got into a drunk friend's car and blamed the sober driver they swerved into for his injury. It's pathetic."

"Right?" Evalyn narrowed her eyes, feeling deep resentment that she rarely felt. "It's like he doesn't want me to be happy."

"Is something wrong, love?" Kaze asked.

"No…." Evalyn replied, touching Kaze's forearm and gently gliding her fingers down it. "We have a great night ahead of us. We're privileged in this life, so let's enjoy it."

Kaze glanced at her curves, making her smile and shudder. "Yes," he whispered. "Let's finish our work first to keep our privileged lives. Once done, I will treat you until morning's light."

Evalyn blinked twice, feeling anxiety again. She heard his many warnings but they made her feel bad… she didn't like it. "Sure," she said, flashing him a smile. "Let's keep positive and only focus on the faction. One step at a time."

"That's all you have to do," Kaze chuckled.

***

"Let's start our meeting," Evalyn said, pressing a button in her driver's shuttle, tinting the black screen between her and the limo-style leather booth completely black. It also muted the sounds of the city, leaving only her and Kaze. "Kaze, I can't wait – take me here."

The blonde unbuckled her seat belt and turned her body, putting her knees onto the leather seats to either side of his thighs.

"Mmmn~," Evalyn gasped, feeling intense lust when the bulge in his pants entered her skirt as she lowered herself into a straddle. "Please…."

"I'll never turn down such a request," Kaze smirked, waving his hand to create a spatial barrier over the already pitch-black window. Then he reached under her long sleeve shirt and pulled up, revealing her black and silver lingerie, partially see-through at the cleavage.

Kaze gazed at her body with immense lust. However, Evalyn saw his eyes and felt like something was missing in them, something unexplainable.

"Is there something—" Evalyn looked down at her body to check there was nothing wrong, but his fingers lit up, and she felt overwhelming pleasure rip through her body, making her scream and moan, begging for relief.

"I refuse to let you feel negative emotions when we share time together," Kaze declared, creating waves of pleasure through her body that succeeded in doing just that.

Any negative lingering doubts or incongruity Evalyn had disappeared, leaving only overwhelming pleasure. She loved to feel good, and the good that Kaze brought her was incomprehensible and addictive.

Evalyn bit her lip with a racing pulse, grabbing his belt buckle, undoing the straps, and unzipping his slacks. For his part, the emperor reached around her back and unclasped and dropped her bra, exposing her perfectly proportionate breasts. "I'm ready, Kaze."

With full mobility from an upper naked half, she pulled out his ten-inch cock with a reverse grip with her right hand and reached into her skirt with her left, parting her panties and lowering her body. "But be gentle; I've never done this before."

"I also refuse to let you feel pain when we're together," Kaze declared. "So relax and enjoy it."

After closing his eyes, his cock radiated with a blue light that called to her body, pulling it in like a magnet.

"AhHhhHHhhHhhH~," Evalyn swallowed, feeling the head press through her labia. As soon as it got in completely, she lost control and lowered herself completely, allowing his cock to snake into her body, bending slightly to match her curves.

Evlayn thought she knew what feeling good meant and getting lost in positive emotions. However, she had no clue. A kaleidoscope of pleasure opened up when he was in her body, making her nearly hallucinate. She explored, lifting and lowering her body on a journey, testing the endless bounds of pleasure as she explored his cock within her.

It was beyond description and the only thing she could focus on.

"I love you, Kaze!" Evalyn screamed, falling onto his lap and rocking back and forth. "Make me feel good like this, and you can have me. Do that, and I'll do anything you ask and give you anything you desire!"

"I accept," Kaze smiled, profoundly enjoying her happiness and slight selfishness.

The blonde rocked her body, feeling Kaze's shaft drive in deep, her chest bouncing, feeling his strong hands grabbing her ass with unreserved pleasure. It made her scream in rapture.

Evalyn was a slave to the feeling of pleasure and positive emotions. It was a monster that countless had accused her of over the years. Yet Kaze didn't judge her for it – he encouraged it. He claimed he loved her despite it.

Kaze wanted her to feel good; that's how she knew that he loved her.

***

"Kaze, come back to bed," Evalyn enticed, tracing her finger around his silk sheets while staring at his chiseled body. "We can cultivate until your power reaches the next stage."

"Believe me, there's nothing I would love more," Kaze smiled, glancing at her body. "However, I must go. Our people need us."

"You always speak of 'our people,'" she pouted. "You've provided them with everything. Isn't it time they repay you by allowing you to enjoy your life?"

The emperor's brow furrowed slightly, a peculiar glimmer in his eye as he gazed at her. It appeared... lonely, almost hollow, reminiscent of Odysseus yearning for home across the sea, despite the allure of immortality with Calypso. "Because I must."

Evalyn detested that look; it haunted her. She had witnessed it many times, making her feel an overwhelming sense of despair. It was as if the weight of the world bore down on her, compelling her to protect everyone and bring them happiness while she suffered. She resented that agonizing expression. "But why, Kaze!? Tell me why!"

"Life's value is not uniform," Kaze replied. "Someone taught me that leading people and improving their lives adds depth and significance, enriching our existence."

"Who is this person!?" Evalyn exclaimed. "You always mention them, and it has become more frequent lately. If she's better than me, that's fine. You have your harem and your ways, so indulge yourself. I don't understand why I can't satisfy you enough when I offer you everything you desire!"

The emperor gazed at her solemnly before offering a gentle smile. "You cannot give me everything, Evalyn, but you do give me a dream life," he said. "That's the honest truth. That's why I must venture out and protect it so that you can be safe and we can live this privileged life eternally."

Evalyn's eyes widened at his heartfelt words, and a surge of positive emotions enveloped her. In that instant, she felt much better. "If that's the case... then go," she said. "I'm sorry. I just love you so much."

"I know you do," Kaze smiled, approaching her and planting a kiss.

As he exited the room, the image of his expression began to haunt her once more. She could sense his sincerity, even though she had anticipated a lie. Something inexplicable about it was intensely painful.

Tears filled Evalyn's eyes as she struggled to contain a deluge of emotions that threatened to burst forth. She had been suppressing these feelings for so long but pushed them down once more and prepared for another day as Kaze's perfect wife.

"WHY!?" Evalyn screamed. "How can you be so callous towards others, yet risk your life for them!? You've given them everything! EVERYTHING! Power, prosperity, prestige, protection, and even political leniency! And still, that's not enough? Must you risk your life as well? You're not invincible, Kaze! They have an army, and you have limited Qi! Even nuclear missiles are useless if you need two but have only one!"

"Leaders enjoy many privileges, but they come at the cost of supporting and defending their people," Kaze replied. "It's a duty, Evalyn. A life without honor and reputation is not worth living."

"Honor, reputation, hah," she scoffed. "Isn't that what you fought for in your previous life? Isn't that why you're here, to protect us rather than pursuing other goals?"

The emperor closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and found himself at a loss for words.

"Yes, that's right," Evalyn said, her voice wavering as the emotional floodgates finally burst. "That's why you're here. So why would you abandon us again in search of purpose and meaning when you have both right here in this room?"

Kaze looked away, his breath heavy, a mix of exhaustion and pain. "It's purpose that gives our love meaning, Evalyn."

"PURPOSE!?" she shrieked, her heart ensnared with barbed wire. "You're always talking about purpose! Why, Kaze!? Who is so important to you that their words about purpose outweigh your lovers!?"

A heavy silence ensued as he considered the consequences of revealing a truth he had never shared with the new, happier Evalyn he had always yearned for. Nevertheless, he realized keeping her in the dark wasn't fair. He opened his mouth and spoke.

"It was you who taught me that, Evalyn," Kaze said, his voice haunting. "Now I must go. That way, I can protect you and the other woman I loved at the same time, even if it costs me my life."

Evalyn's heart shattered, and she was left reeling, overwhelmed by self-destructive emotions that threatened to consume her. "I...," she choked. "I'm sorry...."

She erupted into tears, her anguished cries muffled by the bed, as the torment, guilt, and self-loathing she had long suppressed welled within her. It was a raw, visceral expression of remorse, unfiltered and primal. "Don't die...." she sobbed. "Let me make it up to you...."

Snap!

Evalyn gasped for air, sitting up in a cold sweat, her body trembling, overcome with panic and heartache. She looked around frantically until she saw Kaze beside her, holding her hand. "Kaze, I'm so, so sorry!"

Kaze offered a faint smile tinged with conflict. "It was just a nightmare, Evalyn," he said, his voice soothing. "It wasn't real. You couldn't control it. All you could do was feel what that Evalyn felt—nothing more. But tell me, did you enjoy feeling good?"

The blonde hesitated, her eyes filled with turmoil, afraid to admit the truth. However, she refused to lie. "It felt incredible," she confessed. "After what I've experienced in this life, those few minutes in that life felt worth dying for, and the pleasure was so intense... it sickens me now."

"It was the Nightmare of Lust," Kaze smiled. "It's the most positive of these nightmares."

"W-Wait, what!?" Evalyn exclaimed, her pulse racing. "Don't tell me—"

"There are six more," he smiled, a bitter expression on his face.

"P-Please, Kaze," she pleaded, tears streaming down her face. "No more...."

"Once begun, the process cannot be stopped, lest you want to retain that fear forever," Kaze replied somberly. "Though you're in pain now, you'll forget all about it soon."

"W-What do you mean?" Evalyn asked. "I don't want to forget that."

"You'll still feel that way when you wake up," he smiled, leaning back in his chair, a red aura enveloping him. "But with a new perspective."

"W-Wait!" Evalyn cried.

"Fracture," Kaze said, his smile gentle yet pained, as the world around them began to change once more.