[Book Three] Chapter 30: Incidents on the Normandy

Chapter 30: Incidents on the Normandy

“You always go beyond my expectations, Commander.”
“Thank you, sir?” she answered the compliment, blinking in surprise, the jovial tone her superior had used.
“To think that you could broker peace between Quarians and Geths.”
“That was all them, sir. The key part was getting rid of Han’Gerrel but that was Rick.”
“And once again he came out of the situation smelling like roses. Outstanding, the both of you.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Miss Allers forwarded me the footage of your mission. A chase with a Reaper and defeating it on foot. Once again the boost of morale among the rank has been significant. I do admit though, seeing Wald put you on his shoulders shocked me and everyone who saw it. For a moment, I thought he went from insane genius to just insane.” Hackett said, his eyes looking shocked, empty and a bit haunted, remembering vividly the situation.
“That’s what went through my mind at the time. But we’ve been fighting together for so long that I trusted him.”
“The way he used his biotics has never been seen before. A new development from his part?”
“Yes, on the spot.”
“Goodness… On the spot? It felt like he had practiced for years.”
“That’s because his control over his biotics is insane. Though it still needs to be perfected; using his biotics that way, put a severe strain on his legs; several tears in his muscles.”
“I see.” the Admiral nodded in understanding. “Any new projects he’s working on?”
“You seemed eager to know about them, sir.” Jane replied, suppressing a teasing smile.
“Considering that his last project saved millions of lives, I am. Plus it stimulates our engineers to no end. Well… when they’re not depressed.”
“So far, I know of only two projects he’s working on for sure. The first one is a chameleon armor, more advantageous than a simple Tactical cloak though way too expensive to make. Its function is to basically hide a person in plain sight and is highly effective in messy environments, like ruins, forest, those kinds of topology. When we get back to the Citadel he’ll get the component for actually building it.”
“Interesting. You said expensive? How much are we talking about here?”
“He said it was not as pricey as an eezo crystal but in the same range. So a hundred of thousand credits at least. It’s mainly for infiltration, so elite soldiers and black ops.”
“That could be useful for certain scouting missions, can he send the blueprints and schematics?”
“I’ll ask him but I don’t see any problem with it. As for the second project it’s a protective suit. Catsuit to be precise. It’s supposed to absorb any kind of shock, mostly bullet impact. He has already constructed the material in a simulation and the numbers seem to work. Now he’s trying to stock the kinetic energy absorbed from the impacts the suit takes and to use it back. Lastly; his final objective is to make it self-repairing.”

Hackett wanted to whistle at that, impressed with the capabilities of the suit and knew how well it could help.

“Expensive, I suppose?”
“Surprisingly, no.”
“No?!”
“Manufacturing the material is not that expensive if we compare it to the chameleon armor. The other upgrades on the other hand…”
“Send me everything as soon as you can.”
“I will, sir.”
“Good. On an unrelated note, Commander. I’m officially putting the Normandy and its crew on shore leave for a week.”
“Sir?” Jane asked, confused.
“You’ve been fighting non-stop since Omega, Shepard. You and your team need to rest.”
“Sir, my crew had a month of leave when I went to Omega. It was less than…”
“But you did not, nor did Wald. This is an order, Commander.” Hackett said cutting off any bullshit Jane would have said.
“... Yes, sir.”
“Good. Hackett ou…”
“Sir?” Jane asked before Hackett disconnected the transmission.
“Yes?”
“I… have a personal question if I may.”
“... I’m listening.”
“Why me?”
“Pardon?”
“Why put me in charge? Why not my mother or someone with more experience and a higher rank?”

That question had been haunting her for a while now. Why of all people was she the one chosen to lead the diplomatic talk with other species, to lead the fight against the reapers. She had tried to not think about it but the way the quarians talked to her as if she was some kind of savior when they were partying on Rannoch, brought the question to the forefront of her mind.

“That’s simple, you’re the only soldier in the whole damn navy who knows how to kill a reaper.”
“My brother…”
“Is not part of the navy. He’s unknown to everyone and doesn’t have a tenth of the charisma that you have.”
“There are other people, I’m sure. Killing a reaper is not that difficult. Being smart and having a bit of luck is enough. It worked for me so far, it will work for others.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Commander.”
“Sir?”
“Let me tell you something that I learned the hard way. You can pay a soldier to fire a gun. You can pay him to charge the enemy and take a hill. But there is one and one thing alone that you can’t pay a soldier for. Do you know what that is?”
“I… No, sir, I don’t.”
“Believe. You can’t pay a soldier to believe, Commander.”
“I… don’t understand, sir.”
“When you went up against Sovereign, there was no reason to believe you’d win. Yet your crew did. They followed you anyway, regardless of the odds of success. Your excursion through the Omega-4 relay? Here they were, by your side, ready to follow you to a place no one has ever come back from, to fight with you and for your cause because they believed in you. You led them where no one would have and they went along because they knew that with you, they would make it back. They will not hesitate for a moment if you lead them through the gates of hell because they believe in you. You are their leader, Commander. And that’s what I need the most now. Time and time again you have proven by your actions that if anyone could lead us to the other side it is you. Not your mother, not another officer of a higher rank. You. People, be it civilians or from the military, human or not, look up to you. To inspire them, to lead them. That’s why I picked you, Shepard.”

Jane didn’t know what to say to that and simply thanked Hackett for answering. This time the Admiral disconnected for good, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

____________________________________________________________


“I have to say… this is nice.” Kaidan said as he looked at his cards and took a sip of his drink.
“It would be nicer, if Rick didn’t trash us all.” replied Garrus, sending his cards on the table farther from him, clearly folding.
“Hey! I told you playing a game of probabilities was not a good idea with me. Especially when you all have bad poker faces.” The man in question defended and pushed all his chips forward. A mountain of chips. “All in.”

Everyone at the table groaned in frustration and those still in the game just folded.

“Go fish would have been better.” he added.
“Regardless of winning or losing, LC Alenko is right, this is nice. I mean, we’re hanging around, drinks in hand, spending a good time with just us guys. I’m glad we went for these guys’ nights.” Steve said, gathering the cards.
“I’m surprised that none of you started a joke contest or worse.” Rick said, drinking from his own glass. “And yeah, this is nice, never thought that guys' night could be calm like that. Maybe I should have tried sooner.”
“You sound like you've never experienced guys night before.” James said, coming back to the table with a new bottle.
“I didn’t.”
“What?! Even I have experienced it before! Plenty of times!” stated Joker in shock.
“You really didn’t?” Kaidan asked and got a negative shaking of the head in answer. “Wow.”
“I experienced plenty of girls’ nights on Omega, with the dancers and all when I was a teen but an evening with guys? Never had the opportunity before.”
“THAT cannot stand!” Joker declared.
“What?”
“Guys, I think that just this time we should go with the full experience.” proposed Garrus.
“Good idea!”
“Yeah!”
“You’re not getting out of this without passing out on the floor, Rick.”

‘I should have kept my mouth shut.’

____________________________________________________________

“Well, well, well…”

Down the Cargo Deck, Jane and every woman of the ground team were looking at the mess in front of them. Five men were unconscious, here and there in diverse situations.
Garrus was sprawled on top of one of the shuttles, ready to fall at any moment with a puddle of vomit down on the ground. A makeshift armor of bubble wrap covered Joker from toe to neck, the man being in a fetal position inside a safety net hung up on a wall. Kaidan and Steve were the least amusing, sitting back to the wall next to Joker. They were the cutest though as they were cuddling up with each other. Looking up, they saw James, his torso resting on a beam on the ceiling. They wondered how he had not yet fallen forward or backward. At first they thought it was Rick, because of the helmet but the clothes and the body’s build was all wrong. That meant that Rick was here somewhere without his helmet, and judging by the clothes scattered all over along many, many bottles of alcohol, probably in his birthday suit.

Jane didn’t know if she should laugh or be pissed.

“EDI, I want footage of all of them.”
“Already done, Commander.”
“Good. Now, play the ‘réveille”.”
“Oh, you’re cruel, Jane.” Liara said with a devilish smile.

All of the guys jerked up at the same time, all groaning in pain from the massive headache from the alcohol and the annoyingly loud sound, except Kaidan who was a biotic and could negate the effect of the booze. Garrus fell down the shuttle right onto his vomit face first and James fell backward on his back. The most hilarious of them all for the girls was Joker trying to free himself. Thankfully, Kaidan and Steve pulled him out of his predicament.

“Good to see you all awake.” Jane said loudly, making most of them groan or hold their head in pain.
“Lola, please… not so loud…”
“If you give me a good reason for this mess, maybe I’ll turn down the volume!”
“Ughh. It was guys' night.” Joker defended still in his bubble wrap armor.
“That’s not an excuse.”
“It was Rick’s first.” Kaidan explained.
“We wanted him to have the full experience since he never had one before.” Steve added.
“Really?” Jane asked in surprise.
“He said he knew girls’ night because he grew up surrounded by dancers but never had the opportunity for a guys' night. Considering he grew up on omega…” explained Garrus.
“Ashley?”
“He had no male friend on Eden Prime, Skipper. Can’t blame him on that one…”
“Alright… IF you clean up your mess in less than fifteen minutes you’ll only be on laundry duty for a month.”
“““A month?!”””
“Would you prefer being stuck on the ship for the R&R on the Citadel?”
“““No!”””
“Then one month of laundry. You’re six so you can share the load.”
“Eeeh.. I only count five of them.” Liara said.
“Where is Rick?”
“In my server room.” announced EDI.
“What is he doing there?” a brow raised, Ashley asked.
“Sleeping in his underwear.”
“At least he’s wearing something this time.” Steve mumbled.
“Oh? Would have thought you liked him without anything, Esteban.”
“Not when I have a hangover, can’t appreciate the sight.”
“Speaking of wearing, James?”
“Yeah?”
“The helmet?”
“What helm… Oh right!”
“Can’t believe you didn’t notice.” Ashley said in a flat tone.
“I can see as well as without it. That’s weird.” he said as he tried to remove it. “ uh… It’s locked.”
“I’ll open it.”
“Thank… wait! Something popped up in…” he began speaking then everyone heard a locking mechanism prompting James to remove the headgear. “Damn, that’s so cool!”
“What happened?” Jane inquired.
“There was a symbol of a lock in the corner of my vision, when I looked at it a window popped up asking me if I wanted to open the helmet or not. I looked at the ‘yes’ option then the window’s color turned green and the helmet unlocked.” the man explained handing the headgear to the extended hands of his Commander.
“Visually responsive, that’s new.” EDI commented.
“You know the helmet’s function?” Ashley asked.
“Yes, or I thought I did.”
“EDI, I think Ashley wanted details.” explained Liara.
“Oh!”
“That’s a conversation for later. Right now I want to know how you got it on?
“I… don’t know?” James replied not remembering exactly how that happened.
“Rick was praising the thing’s functions and how comfortable it was.” Kaidan answered.
“The last part is true.” James mumbled.
“We all tried it, besides Garrus obviously. I wish I had one for myself, really useful.”
“I may not have been able to put it on but I finally got to see Rick’s face after three years, so that’s enough.” the turian commented.
“Oh, yeah!” Joker said.
“Wonder, why he’s hiding it, he’s rather handsome.” stated Steve.
“He reminds me of Jon Grissom.” Kaidan said pensively.
‘Shit!’ thought Jane fearing for the worst.
“And Sanders.” added Joker.
“Wait a minute!” James exclaimed. “That’s who is the son of! That’s why his identity is classified and…. I just spilled the beans on highly classified information… Sorry.” James said in shame and embarrassment as Jane put her head in her hands taking a deep breath.
“What are you talking about? Jon Grissom had a daughter, not a son.” Steve said.
“The resemblance is uncanny though. I should know, I remember the man clearly when I was a kid. I mean I saw him only once but that’s not the kind of person you forget.”
“An illegitimate child maybe?” Garrus pondered aloud.
“This is Jon Grissom we’re talking about, one of the greatest heroes of the Alliance if not the greatest, I doubt he…” Steve began but stopped when he saw the face and reaction of the redhead. “No way! Really?”
“I’m going to kill him.” Jane muttered.
“Hold on Lola! We’ll keep our mouth shut, not need to…” James quickly said, remembering his conversation with Jane just before arriving on Menae.
“Not you, James. Rick.”
“Wait a minute, I thought Rick didn’t know who his father was.” Kaidan noted.
“He didn’t. Not until a few months ago when we saved Grissom’s daughter.” Ashley said.
““““We did?!””””
“Sanders! No wonder they looked like each other!” exclaimed Joker, connecting the dots. “Holy shit!”
“That explains why he spends so much time with her if she’s his sister.” Garrus said.
“Look. I cannot confirm or infirm what you all just said. It’s a state secret for a reason so please, keep your mouth shut about it. Got it?” Jane ordered menacingly.
““““Yes ma’am.””””
“I don’t understand why he’s hiding his identity though. Wouldn’t knowing that Grissom’s son is fighting alongside you a morale boost?” wondered Kaidan.
“Not with his past and his ties to Aria. That would make a big scandal, I gather?” Garrus asked.
“You. Have. No idea.” Jane said. “If that were true but this conversation didn’t happen so it's not.” she threatened once again. “Now, go on, that place won’t clean itself up. And remember you have fifteen minutes.”

Putting an end to the conversation, she went to the elevator, helmet in hand and Liara in tow. Ashley decided to stay to enjoy herself taunting the guys and EDi because she was just curious. When she arrived at the Crew Deck she immediately went to EDI’s server room to find her brother in his underwear hugging a cooling pipe. Shaking him up, Rick woke up.

“Good Morning.” she said softly.
“Hmmm.” was his only answer as he looked around. “What am I doing here?”
“You got piss drunk last night and ended here.”
“That explains the headache, give me a moment.”

She did and saw his complexion getting better and better as he used his biotic amp to deal with the alcohol. How did that work? She had no clue, she knew that she needed to learn that though. When she estimated that he had recovered enough she handed him his helmet which he put on immediately.

“That’s not good.”
“No. The guys know who your father is, however they’ll keep their mouth shut.”
“Great.”
“It could be worse.”
“Like knowing, who gave birth to me?”
“Yeah.” she replied as she helped him stand up. “They also know about Kahlee.”
“Oh… she won't be happy about this.”
“No, thankfully I’m not the one telling her.” she joked.
“I hate you.”
“And you heard nothing yet.”
“What do you mean?”
“You and the rest of the guys made a mess in the Cargo Deck. If they clean everything in the next… ten minutes.” she said looking at the time on her omni-tool. “They only get a month of laundry duty. Which includes you too by the way.”
“Joy.”
“You may escape the punishment though…”
“... I’m listening.”
“Your helmet. I want to know exactly what It can do.”
“Well… It can display a radar but you already knew that, a map of the area, weak points of known enemy. It has thermal and night vision. Short to mid-distance coms, an air filter. It’s linked to my omni-tool too. And a body scan, displaying the state of my body… There are also the specs for my weapons, which mods are in use, the number of shots available and the number of thermal clips left. Finally it’s all visually responsive but that’s something I added a few months ago on Mars. One of the best features for that is the analysis of anything and everything through a scan. If the data is in the database I have on hand it’s displayed on the visor. It’s simply for simple and public information in the universal galactic encyclopedia; don't expect to know everything about everyone.”
“That’s… a lot.”
“Just the basics if you don’t count thermal and night vision.”
“Rick, the basics would be that you’re allowed to see and that’s it. Don’t you realize how helpful your helmet is?”
“Not really? I never thought about it, I mean I’ve been using it for so long.”
“And you never thought of commercializing it?”
“I… No, I didn’t. I created it in the first palace to hide my face and I just added functions because of my needs.”
“Your helmet could help a lot of people you know.”
“Now that you’re saying it… Probably. You… want me to give it to Hackett?”
“Yes, please. Is it expensive to make?”
“No, not really. Five thousand depending on the material you use to make it and what you put in it. Thermal and night vision would increase the price significantly. I’d estimate mine’s value at thirty thousand.”
“Good. Now make me one and for each member of the team and you’re out of laundry duty.”
“I can be done for everyone human by tonight as I have five in reserve. For everyone else it will take more time. I need Garrus, Liara, Javik and Tali’s head measurement and I would have to build them from scratch.  First I'll need to buy the machinery for it on the Citadel, then make some tests. It could take weeks.”
“Could Tali and EDI help to reduce the time?”
“They would, it’s not that complicated to make for them, they have sufficient knowledge.”
“Perfect. I want it to be a priority.”
“Okay.”
“One last thing…”
“What is it?”
“Did you have fun last night?” She asked with a smile.

____________________________________________________________

The guys succeeded in cleaning everything up with two minutes to spare. Joker didn’t even break a single bone but he swore to never drink like that again. Rick, once he got dressed and the previous day clothes back, immediately began to work on the helmets. With Tali’s and EDI’s help the four he promised Jane were done just before noon. The after-noon, was spent with the team familiarizing themselves with how to use it. Rick wasn’t very happy as now everyone had his look but it changed when almost everyone asked if it was possible to customize the new headgear. It was just a simple paint job that wouldn’t take too much time and that would go well with each armor’s colors. The one the most interested with the helmet was Tali as she was the only one always wearing one. Apparently no Quarian ever thought about tweeking theirs, just their enviro-suit.

When Jane sent the files about it to Hackett, the Admiral had stars in his eyes. The helmet was cheap to make and damn useful. With the addition of the Geths and the Quarians there were plenty of workers free to work and who didn’t have the qualification to work on the crucible. He did warn everyone however that everything was under patents so they shouldn’t have any ideas about appropriating some features.

The helmets for the non-humans were done, or at least their designs since the machinery to create them was not available for the ship. Garrus asked for a targeting feature which would give the target distance and follow its movement with a reticle locked on them. It was such a good idea that Rick decided to add it to every helmet once he got to code the targeting software.

It was a lot of work and that’s why Rick was currently enjoying his evening with EDI in his bedroom. Tali had preferred to bunked up with Ashley at the brunette offer seeing that EDI wasn’t going to move out and that it wouldn’t have been fair to her. The quarian felt a slight ping of jealousy and disappointment but was mostly alright with Ashley’s big sister attitude.

The first movie of the night was Terminator. An action flick that was very philosophical if someone got deep enough. It was about a human going back in time to protect the life of a woman who gave birth to the leader of the resistance against Skynet, an AI that took control of the world and wanted to eradicate humanity in the future. Not gaining ground against humanity thanks to that human leader, Skynet had sent a robot designated as Terminator, back to the past to make sure the leader wasn’t born to begin with. Dumb time travel shenanigans aside, the analysis of the Terminator was mildly interesting.
It was only with its sequel Terminator 2: Judgment day that things really got interesting. Between a good Terminator that was learning on how to be human and a bad Terminator from another model series, Rick and EDI had plenty to discuss about. It was past midnight when they stopped talking and organic EDI became bold. From her cuddling position to Rick’s side she shifted her body and mounted him and looked into his eyes.

“EDI?”
“I wish to have sexual intercourse with you with this body.”
“Ooookayyyy.”
“You don’t want to?”
“Oh, I do. Been waiting to, since the moment I saw your heart shaped butt over my closet for the first time. I’m just surprised. So far you were really methodical in your approach to these kinds of things, testing the waters with your synthetic body first then conducting the same actions with your organic one afterward.
“I thought about experimenting differently for once. Do you wish to take this body on a date first before…”

Rick interrupted her by rolling them around, changing their position. Now on top of EDI who was laying on her back he lowered his head to hers. So close that their noses were almost touching.

“I do not take your bodies on dates. I take you. Now if you want to skip the date first and go straight to sex, I won’t complain.” He replied as he kissed her deeply.

EDI answered instantly the kiss by getting into it with fervor but it seemed the setting was not to her liking. Locking her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, she rolled them over, making her on top again.
“I prefer being on top of humans.” she joked with a beautiful smirk on her luscious lips.
“I prefer you being on top too. Better view.” Rick agreed as he put his hands under her huge breasts and lifted them up. “Though any kind of foreplay is rather limited for me in that position.”
“Foreplay, later. Sex now.” she ordered.
“It’s not fore…”

He couldn’t finish his sentence as EDI removed her shirt revealing her breasts. He was left speechless out of amazement. The shape, the erected nipple and the size of her areolas, everything was perfect in his opinion. He immediately wanted to suck on them and went for it but EDI pushed him back down.

“Later.” she said.
“But EDI…”
“Later.”

It was with resignation, that Rick began to remove his own clothes.

____________________________________________________________

Joker was sitting in his seat in the cockpit, pulling a late shift. Proud of himself for getting Shepard to agree to change the laundry punishment for that. Drinking a cup of coffee, he was listening absentmindedly to some music Rick had shared, while browsing the extranet. He was absolutely not prepared for what happened next.
The lights went out and his console shut down. Considering they were still in flight and still breathing, the vital systems were still on however the artificial gravity was disabled as he was now, just like his coffee, floating in the air.

“What the hell! EDI, what’s going on?!” He called out to the AI but got no answer. “EDI?”

With absolutely no response he tried to use the coms to contact Jane but with the power being out it wasn’t possible. For a moment he pondered if he should just push himself around to go search for the redhead but the elevator was down too so that wasn’t possible. He was stuck until someone reached EDI’s server and fixed things up. He looked around to find something to do and saw his coffee floating around in some sort of mass.

“Well… There is a first to everything.” he said then tried to drink the hot liquid.

____________________________________________________________

“EDI! Are you there?! What’s going on?! Is there someone on the coms?!” 

Jane was floating above her bed. She had just finished reading and writing some reports and went to sleep when whatever was happening happened. She would have been in total darkness were it not for the light of her aquarium. She tried to move around but couldn’t reach any surface to do so. Much like Joker she was stuck and couldn’t do anything but watch her fish swim, the lid of the aquarium being closed.

____________________________________________________________

“EDI!” Rick shouted as he was also floating above his bed with AI on top of him still inside of her. He lifted her head up and saw that the woman had one eye closed while the other had rolled in her head. “EDI, wake up!” he shouted again, shaking her up. It didn’t work at first, but her eye returned to its normal position and her second eye opening signaled that she was back to normal. When recognition hit her they fell harshly to the bed, gravity being back on and so were the lights.
“I’m sorry… I…” she stopped talking and her eyes were lost far away for a moment. “All systems operational, no malfunction. Everything is in order.”
“Are you alright?” he asked in worry.
“I am.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“God, you scared the hell out of me.”
“I’m sorry, the stimulus of the orgasm was too intense despite my dampeners working at full capacity.”
“...What?”

____________________________________________________________

“You had an orgasm.” Jane stated. She was clearly not amused by what EDI had just explained to her as she put something on and in no time was riding the elevator down to Rick’s quarters, knowing that somewhat, somehow he was the one at fault.
“Yes.”
“With your organic body.”
“Yes.”
“And the… flow of… data?” she asked tentatively.
“Yes.”
“And the flow of data was too big and intense to process.”
“That is correct.”
“... I don’t know what to say. Should I be amazed? Frightened? Angry?”
“There is no reason to be frightened, even non-operational, the ship had all vital systems active thanks to the emergency power source. I made sure of it.”
“Not all of them. I don’t know if you have noticed or not but gravity was gone.” Jane replied in irritation.
“Gravity is not a vital system.” the AI defended.
“It should.”
“I’ll add it to the list.”
“Good. Now… What the fuck EDI?” the redhead shouted just before the door to the elevator opened to the CIC
“I do not understand what you mean, Commander.”

Jane growled and entered Rick’s quarter, stomping her feets. After a few steps she violently opened the door to the bedroom. And yelled at her brother who was still laying on his back, balls deep into organic EDI who was straddling him and with her back straight.

“I KNEW IT! YOU’RE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS!”
“I’m not!”
“You are.” EDI disagreed immediately. “You’re the one that…”
“Alright, Alright!” he said, putting his hand on EDI’s mouth to stop her from talking. “I’m HALF responsible. It takes two to tango after all. No need to give a detailed explanation of what occurred.”
“Do you have any idea the situation the two of you have put me in?!” Jane shouted, making Rick and EDI exchange a glance before looking back right at her.
““No.””

Their nonchalant answer nearly caused her an aneurysm. They were completely serious and played the clueless innocents. Her right eye ticked rapidly and a big vein appeared on the side of her forehead.

“What do I say to the crew about this incident?! What do I put in my report to Hackett?!”
“... That I’m so good at sex that I made EDI pass out, inducing a malfunction on her part?”
“I can't do that!”
“Why not?” EDI asked. “It’s what happened.”
“That’s beyond embarrassing!”
“That’s because you care, you shouldn’t. Now if you don’t mind.” Rick said as he used one of his hands to shoo her away.
“Oh, no, no, no, no, no! NO! No more sex!” she yelled, making Rick gasped. “EDI, until you find a way for this incident to not happen again I strictly forbid you from any kind of sexual activity.”
“Yes, Commander. The problem is already resolved.”
“...Really?”

“Yes. I’ll just disconnect myself from the body.”
“You can do that?” Rick asked in surprise.
“In theory, yes. I uploaded part of myself into it. It should be able to function without being connected to me.”
“In Theory?” Jane asked worriedly.

EDI didn't answer, instead her eyes became empty for a couple of seconds before life came back to them.

“As expected, it works. It is a weird experience.”
“Wait, you just…” inquired Jane.
“Yes.”
“How is it weird?”
“I feel… lighter? I’m only experiencing the world through my body as I don’t have access to the ship’s sensors or my… Oh… I forgot to reactivate it.” The AI said as she saw her synthetic body limp on the ground. Immediately it booted up.
“That’s amazing, you’re amazing.” Rick said with stars in his eyes.
“Time to test this new development with round two.”
“Like hell you will! No more sex until the Normandy is docked on the Citadel!”
“It is perfectly safe, Jane.”

“She’s jealous, she’s not getting any.” Rick supposed aloud.
“I’m not…”
“Oh, you can join or watch if you want.”
“Jeal-... What?!”
“Yeah… EDI, I love you but you’re still inexperienced regarding sex with another woman and Jane is about to lose it. So, another time?”
“Very well.” The AI said and simply lay down on her lover, his cock still hard inside of her. “Good night, Jane.” were her last words before closing her eyes and trying to fall asleep.

The redhead in question wasn’t about to lose it anymore. She just did.