One Wild Night

Chapter 861  Being Alive

Lying on her bed with both her laptop and phone in front of her, Amy sighed deeply when she refreshed her email for the hundredth time and there was no new email.

She had been at it all day since it was Saturday and she didn't have any work to distract her. It was either this or she could revisit the endless photo albums of Miley on her laptop, each picture a fresh stab of grief. Or, she could scroll mindlessly through social media, the forced cheerfulness of others only amplifying her own emptiness. Neither option held much appeal.

Perhaps she should have asked him to give her his email address instead of arrogantly giving him hers? Amy mused, biting her lower lip as she kept her gaze fixed on her phone.

She contemplated giving Lucy a call to find out if she had heard from him yet and to know how he was doing, but she shook her head.

With a click, she refreshed the inbox again. Nothing. Disappointment gnawed at her.

Just as she was about to resign herself to an email-less day, a bright chime announced a new message. A yelp escaped Amy's lips as she picked up her phone.

A wave of disappointment washed over her as she saw the subject line: "URGENT: You Won't Believe This Weight Loss Secret!" Great, spam. She tossed her phone back onto the bed in frustration.

Perhaps he lost the card where she had written her email address, Amy mused as she got off the bed.

But if that was the case, wouldn't he have asked Lucy to get across to her? Unless of course he didn't want to email her. Amy reasoned as she went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

Standing in the kitchen she paused when she remembered how he had embraced her and kissed her forehead. A smile tugged on her lip as she raised a hand to her forehead and then she giggled as she remembered his explanations.

What was this? Amy asked herself, wondering why she was suddenly thinking about him so much. She shook her head and slapped her cheeks before she continued to the cupboard to pick up a glass, but when she saw the mug Lucas had used the last time hanging on the rack, she picked it up instead.

As she filled the mug with water, she heard the distant chime from her phone and immediately she fled from the kitchen and back to the bedroom to check it.

A giddy shout escaped her lips when she picked up the phone and saw an email from Lucas Perry.

Amy danced around her bed, a happy smile plastered on her face. She spun around, catching her reflection in the full-length mirror. Her eyes widened and she froze.

What was she doing? She should be curled under a blanket, weeping for Miley. Why was she dancing and looking so happy barely a week after Miley's death? What kind of a friend was she? Was it not too soon to be feeling this happy again? Did she have any right to claim she was Miley's best friend if she was feeling this happy over receiving a text from a guy? A guy Miley had wanted?

Guilt settled in her stomach like a heavy stone, and shame flushed through her cheeks as she lowered herself to the bed.

Her lips trembled as tears formed in her eyes and she let them flow down her cheeks unrestrained.

Miley had been a good friend and it was too soon for her to move on this way. It was like a betrayal to their friendship.

As she sat there crying, her phone rang and she reluctantly reached for it when she saw it was Miley's mom.

Amy tried to compose herself as she received the call but a little sniffle gave her away.

"Amy? Are you alright?" She asked, her voice tinged with concern.

"Yes, I am," Amy said, forcing herself to sound cheerful.

"You don't sound okay. Is that nitwit bothering you again? Did something happen?" She asked and Amy shook her head.

"No. Nothing happened. I'm okay," Amy assured her.

"Are you sure?" She asked doubtfully.

"Yes, I am. Are you okay?" Amy asked, wondering why the woman had called her.

"Yes, I'm fine. What are you doing this evening?" She asked and Amy frowned.

"Nothing. I do not have any plans. Why?" She asked, wondering if she wanted to send her on an errand.

"Well, you do now. A beautiful young lady of your age shouldn't be at home doing nothing on a Saturday evening. What would you prefer? A quiet dinner somewhere fancy or fun at a club with friends? You have friends you can hang with, right?" She asked and Amy's frown deepened as her confusion increased.

"I don't understand. Why do I need to do any of that?"

"I was just reading Miley's journal. She said she wouldn't want you to be sad for too long. She said she would prefer that you have all the fun she can't have instead of depriving yourself of it because you are mourning her. After I read it, I thought I should check on you and make sure you are fine," she said, and Amy's lips wobbled.

"Mrs Garwood," she called in a shaky voice.

"She wants you to have fun, Amy. For her. Surely, you can do that much for her, right?" She asked, her voice thick with unshed tears.

"It's too soon," Amy cried.

"Too soon for what, dear?" Miley's mom asked softly.

"It's too soon to stop mourning. To laugh or live like I didn't just lose my best friend," Amy said and Miley's mother sighed.

"How long do you think it should take you to mourn her satisfactorily? A year? Two? Five? Ten? You are alive, Amy. You shouldn't feel guilty about living," she said softly.

"But I feel guilty," Amy confessed tearfully.

"Don't. Miley would have wanted you to be happy. You said it yourself. She loved life, and despite her illness she chose to live and enjoy what little time she had left. Why do you think she would want you to waste you own time mourning?" She asked and Amy nodded.

"You're right," she said as she wiped the tears from her face, "I should be the one consoling you, not the other way around. I'm sorry," Amy said apologetically.

"It's fine. I guess it's true what they say, that Misery loves company. I was down when I called, but I sort of feel better knowing that I'm not alone," she said, and Amy drew in a shaky breath.

Laughing didn't mean she didn't miss Miley, a fierce voice whispered inside her. Neither did it mean she no longer loves Miley. It just meant she was still alive. Still capable of feeling something besides grief.

Taking a deep breath, Amy squared her shoulders. She was going to live for two, she decided as she rose to go wash her face after the call ended.

With a small smile that felt genuine, she clicked on the email once she returned from the bathroom, and Lucas's message filled the screen. It was short and a bit impersonal, but enough to send a warmth through her.

It read [Hey! It's Lucas. I heard from Lucy. I'm perfectly okay. Nothing to worry about. Thanks for your concern. I hope you're good too.]

Amy looked at the message, wondering whether or not she should respond. Deciding that the 'hope you're good' part was begging for a response, she went on to respond to it.

[Hello, Luca! I was beginning to think you changed your mind about exchanging emails. I'm fine. It's good to hear from you. I'm glad that you're okay. What time is it over there?] Amy texted back.

Lucas who was sprawled lazily on his bed picked up his phone when he heard it ping, and his lips twitched when he saw Amy's response.

He had really wanted to stay away from Amy and not send her any emails, but being a man of his word, he had decided to send her an email since he agreed to exchanging emails. Also, after hearing from Amy that she was concerned about him, he had decided to reach out to her to assure her that he was fine.

[It's good to know that you're fine.  It's eight in the morning over here.] he texted back. n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om

[Does that mean you just woke up? Am I the first person you're talking to this morning? Why did you decide to send an so early in the morning? Did you perhaps dream of me?] Amy texted, and Lucas was taken aback by her last question.

How could she be so direct? Why would she assume he dreamt of her? He didn't want her attaching any special meanings to his gestures.

[No. I didn't dream of you. I was going to send the email last night but I was too exhausted and I slept off. I decided to send it this morning because I might forget to do so later in the day. And no, you're not the first person I'm talking to. I already spoke with Tyler.] Lucas texted back, and Amy smiled.

[I was only pulling your legs. You don't have to be so serious. You don't plan on taking the next available flight down here to assure me you didn't dream of me, do you?]

Lucas chuckled involuntarily, [I don't plan on doing so. I've got to go now. Be good.]

[You too. Thanks for reaching out. Your email made my day.]

Lucas smiled as he read her message and he couldn't help but be amazed by how easily she always said what she was thinking. Perhaps reaching out to her wasn't such a bad idea, Lucas thought as he got out of bed, ready to start his day.