Chapter 147 - The Reasons Why, Part 4
Life throws curveballs. Sometimes you're able to deal with it, sometimes you could catch that whizzing ball square in the palm of your hand, sometimes you're only able to make do with a narrow miss… and you'll just have to settle for that.
Other times though, that curveball just ends up going splat in your face, nothing you could do about it. Now those 'other times' were actually most of my times when it came to curves and balls.
You could even say, I wasn't a stranger in getting balled in the face. I had more than just my fair share… In fact, in more recent times, it's all I ever know now.
But this… but Jay… he's no curveball, he wasn't even a goddamn curveboulder - curvemountain was putting it lightly. Sometimes the only valid response to madness was just pure bewilderment.
And that's exactly what I was portraying quite convincingly right then, having to hear his voice pitched to the tune of amusement as his lips continue to bare wide in a toothy-grin.
"Did you… you really think I'm out to destroy your world?" The little show of his lights in his fingertips dissipated, and he used those now free fingers to run them down through his messy hair. "Little news flash - in case you didn't notice, I live here now, no thanks to a certain evil Goddess."
He was becoming a headache. The more he talked, the more questions just seem to unfurl from his every sentence. First he admits to summoning the blight, then in the same discussion, immediately spoke to the contrary by claiming he didn't do it to cause a catastrophe.
Which is it?!
"What the hell are you doing then, Jay?" I shouted, getting even more exasperated from his widening smirk. "What's the Blight?!"
He snorted, shrugged again. "My plan."
Irene and Ash finally found their way to my side, both shared a precarious glance, their eyes never once drifting away from the Magus, and from the way they held themselves… it's like they're almost anticipating for something to happen.
Whatever that something was… it be better if it never happened.
Irene threw caution to the wind again, speaking out, her voice tense. "And are you ever going to fill us in on just what exactly this plan of yours entails?"
"Don't see why I should," He frowned, tilting his head at her. "You're just going to try and stop me."
"We're going to stop you either way," Irene said coldly. "Context or no, I can hardly give a damn. It's only up to you if you do or not."
Jay got quiet all of a sudden, for a moment he just stood there, contemplating, staring, meeting every pair of eyes with a slow shifting glance. Take a guess which one of us he stared at the most? Whose eyes he continued to linger upon with absolutely no restraint?
Ash did not at all appreciate such intense scrutiny. "What is it?" She grumbled in a low disapproving whisper.
"Nothing, it just… It doesn't feel good," He swallowed, turning away, looking a little disheartened. "Especially you. You're all staring at me like I'm doing something awful."
"Gee, I wonder why?" I said, resisting the urge to go all-in on sarcasm.
"Listen, I'm not vile, I'm not cruel. I don't get some sick twisted enjoyment listening to screams, watching the chaos unravel in the streets. That's what a bad guy does."
Irene, on the other hand, decided to not resist any such urge whatsoever. "I'm sorry… but I'm having a bit of trouble spotting the difference here. You mind clarifying?"
"The difference is," Jay said, heaving an aggravated breath. "I'm not a bad guy."
I'm sorry, Jay. But that's just not how real life works. You can't do something terrible, and then right after, claim you didn't do something terrible. It's like he's deluded himself, I look at him and he's completely guilt-free, he really believed that he was actually just being wronged here.
It's unsettling to think about. Just what endgame could he possibly have to justify such means? It had to be a good one, otherwise, he wouldn't be here trying to convince us that it was.
"Ash," He muttered out her name, resulting in the tightening of the Elf's grip on her sword. "I think you can relate, can't you? You know you're not evil, despite what everyone might think… despite what you've done… come on, I'm just going through the same thing here."
"It is not the same!" She sniped at him almost immediately, looking ready to whirl her sword at him at any moment. "You insult me... demean me. You believe that you and I, that our fates share a common resemblance? The atrocities I've committed, the cruelty I've enforced? Unlike you, I didn't have a choice! I never did!"
"Neither do I, Ash!" Jay shouted back. "If there ever was a better way, that's what I'll be doing, but there isn't - so here we are. I'm doing what I'm doing because - "
"You're selfish," Ash interjected. "It is who you are and why you're doing this. I know your types, I've served under your types… committed despicable acts in the name of your self-righteousness. You believe you know me, you believe yourself a better Master for me - no - you are just like everybody else before you. No longer, I will stand it for it no longer, you are - !"
I never got to hear what he was, nor do I think I'll ever find out. It took a couple of seconds before I realized what had happened. Would have noticed it sooner, if only I hadn't been too busy trying to pick apart every subtle change of his facial expression… either way, don't think it would have made a difference… either way, I would have found out.
That distraught look, the pain brimming his pupils full… then like a flash of lightning in the darkest night, I watched the sadness contort to rage, saw his distress malformed into displeasure. I knew Ash's words were having a profound effect on him, I just didn't know to what extent… not until it was too late.
Ash still had her sword raised, her face still seething with pure contempt - but nothing more. Her sword stayed raised, her face stayed seething… but Ash wasn't moving, wasn't speaking.
Not a single strand of hair swayed, not a single breath of air taken. I looked at her… and it was like all was seeing was a life-like replica of her. Like a literal statue of flesh and bone, Ash was frozen still.
My eyes went beyond horror-stricken, I wanted to yell, I could feel my lips flapping open but not even a whimper left me. Horror turned to panic as I whirled myself the other way.
Irene wasn't spared either. She stood, with her hands at her side, curled into readied fists. Her hazel eyes continue to glower… but they stayed unblinking… seemingly I feared, for a long, long time.
I didn't even have to question how it happened, why it happened, or who made it happened. Like I said before, any and all casualties, I knew exactly who to point the finger at to now.
Jay looked almost apologetic, staring at me the way he did, maybe he really was. "Sorry I had to do that."
Hearing his voice helped me to find mine, and I found it chugging deep and violently at a vocal chord labeled 'outraged'.
"So much for not being a bad guy," I said, trying to control the spasms in my breathing. "You think anyone here's gonna believe you now after freezing them? You think she will?!"
"I didn't hurt her!" He said wearily, his expression going soft. "I'd never do that. I just can't stand being vilified any longer, if she continues talking like that to me - I might actually start crying."
"Deserved!" I lashed at him, then darted eyes to the left again. "And her? I highly doubt you care much about Irene's opinion over you. Why freeze her too?"
"Well, she's not very polite now, is she?"
"I can get rather impolite too," I was shaking. "Dickhead."
Jay didn't look amused one bit, not a grin, nor a frown… just a quiet sullen stare.
"Hurt your feelings enough, yet?" I said, regardless of risk, regardless of repercussion. I just couldn't find it in me to care much. "You gonna all the way now, freeze me too? In fact, why didn't you just go all the way? Why didn't you just put in me stasis as soon as you did them?"
"Because out of you three, you seemed like the one who would be most reasonable to talk to," He spoke back, his tone stronger. "And plus… you're the one only here that's holding any leverage."
Leverage? The hell was he talking about.
"I want to try bargaining with you," Jay proclaimed, speaking calm and steady. "See? Would a bad guy do that? And in return… well, I guess you get to bargain with me too."
Fuck's sake, man. It's always bargaining with these fantasy folks. I should really become a negotiator, I'd make a goddamn fortune.
"What do you want?" I asked.
"You know what I want."
"Not unless I could read minds, I don't," I pressed him again. "Better speak it loud and clear otherwise I won't get it."
It was a lie though. Halfway through, I already had a clue exactly what he wanted from me… not like he was trying to hide it either. That expression with those eyes… there's no misunderstanding intent… not unless you were literal blind.
He stopped staring to the side of me, and started to look directly at me. "I'll get rid of every trace of the Blight, out of the country and in. I'll awake anybody who had fallen into the trance and I'll make sure I'd be thorough with it. Can't raise those who died though, but it's a fair enough deal I guess… "
"All depends, doesn't it?" I said, hoping against hope that I wouldn't exactly what I dread he would say. "Name your price."
"In return… you'll relinquish your position as Eshwlyn's Master and you will instead bequeath that honor over to me. Make me her new Master, give her to me… and you'll save the day."