Love Letter From The Future

༺ The Lord Is With Us (53) ༻

People cannot be trusted.

Such was the long-held conviction that a girl, who had been chosen as the ‘Saintess’ after having grown up in an orphanage, had developed after witnessing all sorts of rotten sides of people as she became intertwined with the Holy Nation’s politics.

Her twisted belief had never once proved her wrong, and it was precisely because she didn’t trust others that she was able to climb to her current position.

Orphanage directors who publicly pushed for philanthropic ideals were, in reality, devising ways to line up their own pockets while bishops who preached the faith were power-hungry and suspicious.

She herself was no different.

Only those adept at concealing their thoughts and deceiving their opponents were able to survive in the political field.

In this world, only two knew her true self.

Her bodyguard, Yuren, who she had grown up with and was practically no different from being her brother, and Ian Percus, who she had recently started bickering with like cat and dog.

If she was being honest, Yuren was the type of person she couldn’t deceive even if she tried. Therefore, it wasn’t wrong to say that Ian was the first person she had truly revealed herself to.

This fact had initially irked her.

There wasn’t anyone who didn’t fear the unknown. This was especially true for politicians and merchants since unknown variables could cause major disruptions in their carefully calculated plans.

It went without saying that she was the same. On top of that, at that moment, Ian was truly someone who she couldn’t comprehend using common sense.

Not only was he able to use the Church’s Secret Techniques, but he also skillfully displayed the Secret Techniques of the Sword Circle.

That wasn’t even the end. He was someone who had been gifted the Dragonblood Scripture, something reserved for only the closest associates of the Emperor.

His identity and capabilities were cloaked in mystery, but given his ability to overpower both her and Yuren in an instant, she assumed that he was, at the very least, an expert swordsman.

Honestly, it felt shitty.

Even if she had ulterior motives behind doing him the favor, the fact that it was repaid with threats and violence angered her. She even felt devastated and miserable when she was forced to admit complete defeat in both brute force and information gathering.

With all that considered, it was inevitable that she growled at him every time they came across each other. At first, he was taken aback, but he swiftly learned to bite back, and now, their relationship had become one of squabbling back and forth.

But deep down, she knew.

The image of Ian she had seen that day was etched deep in the Saintess’ heart. The man who hadn’t hesitated even for a brief moment to sacrifice his money to rescue a commoner woman.

The Ian she had seen at the orphanage that day behaved the same exact way.

He didn’t shun the orphans, even though they were unkempt. He worked hard to care for them and sometimes even gave up his profits for them.

It confused her. However, the reason why she couldn’t stop bickering with Ian was probably because there were only a few people around her whom she could take off her facade in front of.

The Saintess felt an odd sense of liberation when she was with him.

She found herself at the fierce center of attention for two juniors, seemingly fighting over Ian because of their natural rivalry, but she didn’t think it was a bad thing.

It was just another mask she wore as usual anyway. The Saintess didn’t trust anyone.

Since she couldn’t trust other people, she couldn’t love them either.

To the Saintess, human relationships were merely a game of chess. In other words, it was a process of minimizing pawns on the board while maximizing the bishops and knights.

And as she did so, if she managed to capture a rook, then it was great; if it was a queen, she had to have it.

That was the twisted perspective of a woman who distrusted the world. There were times she felt extremely lonely, but it was all okay.

After all, other people probably thought of her as a piece on their chessboard as well.

There were no exceptions. This was the belief she had held her entire life.

And just as she thought that there wouldn’t be a single person to change her perspective…

The Saintess’ light pink eyes turned to focus on the man lying silently on the hospital bed.

His shallow breathing was faint.

He looked so weak that it was hard to imagine that this was the same man who had defeated a horde of demonic beasts, a demonic human, and even mythical monsters.

But it made sense at the same time. He had been brought to the brink of death in exchange for the heroic fight he had put up.

The man’s appearance was a cruel sight for the Saintess to see.

Even the Saintess, who had dealt with countless patients over the past few years, had to stifle a gasp when she initially saw him. The man’s physical condition was that serious.

His blood vessels were tinged with a dark glow as the poison coursed through his body. Blood and pus seeped from his wounds. His internal organs were torn to pieces, causing him to vomit blood from his mouth.

If it wasn’t for the potion that he had in his arms, there was no chance he would have survived.

Various medications that slowed his heart rate, increased his body’s innate healing power, and even increased his resistance to toxins.

It was a mystery how he, a low-ranking noble, was able to make such thorough preparations. It would not have been possible unless he had a close friend in the Department of Alchemy.

She didn’t know the exact reason why he had them, but it was fortunate that Ian was able to save his life thanks to all of it.

Only then did the Saintess heave a sigh of relief. With trembling hands, the Saintess retrieved the remaining Heart of Blood that she had given to the man earlier.

It was the only way she could save Ian.

The man fully recovered after he consumed a castle’s worth of sacrifices. Even then, he still remained unconscious for several days.

A week had passed since he had been treated as a critically ill patient with restricted visitors.

The Saintess would visit Ian’s hospital room whenever she had time. She used ridiculous excuses, like she was the healer in charge, in order to see him.

I need to keep my personal life separate from my professional life, she exhaled while touching her forehead.

She couldn’t understand her own feelings either. All the Saintess could do was look down at Ian with sad eyes.

He was breathing so evenly, but why wasn’t he waking up?

There were so many questions she wanted to ask him.

Why had he risked his life to protect the children? Weren’t they just orphans?

There were countless orphans dying all over the continent. Hundreds of them probably lost their lives just today alone.

A mayfly’s life that no one cared about. That was the world’s view on orphans.

She wanted to ask him how he was able to fight without faltering.

His injuries had been so severe that continuing the battle was impossible. Nevertheless, the man had somehow found the strength to destroy the flesh nest. Such feats required extraordinary willpower.

Numerous questions of ‘why’ swirled in her head while she looked sadly at Ian.

Just then, a small moan began to escape the man’s lips. The Saintess’ eyes widened.

Had he finally regained consciousness?

Suddenly, her mouth went dry. Her fingers stiffened, and her tense pupils contracted and relaxed repeatedly. She didn’t understand why she was like this.

There were so many things she wanted to say, but as she was actually about to speak to him, her mind went blank, and she struggled to find the right words.

All she could do was continue to swallow dryly.

The man’s eyelids slowly opened.

His golden eyes, shining with a profound light, were revealed to the world. He frowned for a moment as if the light was too bright, but soon turned his gaze towards the Saintess.

The Saintess’ heart was racing.

She stammered, her mouth opening and closing several times.

Before she could manage to say anything, a raspy voice came from the man.

“…Holy Power Pouch?”

The Saintess’ hands dug into the patient’s side.

Of course, mournful screams quickly followed.

***

“So I guess the orphans were eventually relocated.”

That was my first impression after listening to the Saintess’ lengthy explanation of the events that transpired.

The Saintess’ expression darkened at my simple response.

I wasn’t sure what reaction she was expecting from me, but I guessed that she had hoped for something a bit more dramatic than this.

But I didn’t really have any other choice. It was the first thing that popped into my head, and I couldn’t meet her expectations just minutes after regaining consciousness.

The Saintess sighed as if had given up and added an additional explanation.

“Don’t worry too much. I took my time to find a better place for them to go.”

“I knew you would do that, Saintess.”

The Saintess responded to my words with an annoyed ‘hmph.’

“You just said you thought I ran away without a second thought!”

“I had no idea that a mobilization order was issued to the Church. Isn’t that an unwritten rule?”

The Saintess still seemed a bit miffed and didn’t try to hide it.

That was what happened. The second the Saintess arrived at the Church, she suddenly began issuing orders to the priests and guards, imposing unofficial regulations onto them.

With that, they raced through the forest using the path to get here. I heard that their contributions played a big part in defeating the flesh seeds that were rampaging around after losing their flesh nest.

If I had known that would happen, I should’ve waited a little longer before entering the cave. I voiced my complaints, but the Saintess just snorted as if I said something absurd.

“That was only possible because you held the flesh seeds in place. That’s what you wanted to do in the first place, wasn’t it?”

She was good with her words, I had to admit.

I shook my head and looked out the window without saying another word.

It was such a huge difference.

I had been in that hellish cave until the moment I passed out, but now, I was looking at the beautiful scenery of the Academy that I had longed to return to.

That left me feeling even more confused. It was like I had woken up from a dream.

Maybe it was because of the whisper I had heard just before I destroyed the flesh nest. The unidentifiable voice that had given me advice when I needed it most.

Now that I thought about it, there was a chance I had been hallucinating at that moment. I had inhaled too much of the toxic gas emitted by the flesh nest by then.

The Saintess spoke carefully when she saw me lost in thought.

“…Do you have any other questions?”

My eyes turned to the Saintess, as if asking what she meant.

I couldn’t have asked for anything better––the group was safe, and the children from the orphanage had been relocated to a better place. There was nothing more I wanted to know about.

The Saintess pounded her chest as if she was frustrated. Her breasts, full of an undeniable gravity, showed off their elasticity.

“The amount of money you got for killing the demonic beasts, the rewards from the Holy Church or the Empire, or maybe the additional points from the Academy… Aren’t you curious?”

“Wouldn’t I find out about all this information soon anyway?”

“…B-But still!”

The visibly agitated Saintess was about to say something to me, but quickly sighed and composed herself.

Her eyes seemed to say, “Of course you would say that.”

I just shrugged.

“Then can I get discharged now?”

“…Well, yeah I guess so.”

I was told that my body had already completely healed a long time ago. However, I couldn’t regain my senses until now.

Now that I had regained consciousness, there was no reason for me to remain confined in the hospital room any longer. My muscles and joints felt sore, maybe because of my lengthy bed rest.

I felt like I would have to intensify my training for a while to return to my optimal state.

After the Saintess re-examined me, I gathered my clothes and put on my uniform, hanging my sword and hatchet on my waist.

Come to think of it, what happened to Senior Delphine’s sword?

It looked expensive. I almost broke out in a cold sweat thinking about it for a moment, but I soon calmed down.

Senior Delphine was rich anyway, so it would probably be fine. If anything, I might have to use my reward money from defeating the beasts and the demonic human to compensate for it.

Just as I was about to take a step, the Saintess’ question suddenly came to mind.

“What was Gilford thinking?”

My eyes slowly shifted to the Saintess. She answered, muttering under her breath without even turning to look at me.

“He’s a demonic human, right? He’s a villain who sold the orphans to the beasts. But why did he put in a request to resolve the situation at the orphanage? He also had countless opportunities to kill us. He even trained you too…”

“Maybe he wanted to die.”

The Saintess’ eyes turned to me at my monotonous answer. But suspicion still lingered in her gaze.

“But in that case, he could have just easily given up his life or turned himself in, right?”

“Maybe he didn’t want to die as well.”

The Saintess raised her eyebrows at my joke-like responses. She opened her mouth in a slightly angry voice.

“What kind of nonsense…”

“Isn’t the human mind a complex thing to understand?”

With that, I smiled bitterly. The Saintess appeared stunned.

“And isn’t it the same for you, Saintess?”

“…Me?”

“You said they’re ‘just orphans’.”

The Saintess fell silent, as if she had been caught off guard. A hint of emotion began to appear in her light pink eyes. I came to a realization then.

She had used the term “just orphans” not to belittle them. Rather, it was more like the stake she drove into her own heart.

“You said that to belittle yourself because you yourself are from an orphanage. Despite your best efforts to send the children from Gilford’s Orphanage to a better place.”

The Saintess continued to remain silent for a while. She seemed lost in her thoughts for a moment, then turned away to avoid my gaze. Nonetheless, it was time for me to leave.

Before leaving, I offered her some consolation.

“Whether you’re an orphan or not, it doesn’t matter. To me, you’re just the Saintess. A Holy Power Pouch with an attitude.”

The Saintess seemed irritated by my words and tried to glare at me, but her eyes went blank upon making eye contact. I didn’t know the reason why.

Perhaps only she knew the reason. I didn’t bother asking any more questions and started walking out.

One step. Two steps. Just as I was about to leave the hospital room.

“…Why did you do that?”

Her voice sounded desperate.

It was like a surge of emotions had poured out through her words. When I glanced back, I saw the Saintess standing up and glaring at me.

“You had nothing to gain! There are so many people in this world who wouldn’t care whether some orphans lived or died. On top of that, you were on the verge of dying! If you had been even the slightest bit unlucky, we would be having your funeral right now!”

Her words conveyed the cold cynicism and anger aimed at the world.

So I listened to her in silence. So that I could accept her sincerity.

“Did you really want to act like you were a good person that badly?! There were so many other ways you could’ve done that! You could’ve escaped and announced that you had defeated the demonic human, and the praise for you would have been just as loud as it is now. One life-threatening battle is enough! It only makes sense that you leave things like the flesh nest to someone else……”

“Saintess.”

I spoke in a low voice.

That was all I needed to say––one calm word to silence the Saintess.

The Saintess’ lost eyes turned to me.

There were many answers that I could’ve given her. If I hadn’t made my choice, the flesh nest might have spread. I wanted to protect the orphans. In fact, I could’ve gone as far as to say that not all human beings could make rational choices all the time.

However, instead of choosing any of those answers, I gave her a slightly better reply.

I recalled a whisper that I had heard on a certain day in the past.

“……Immanuel.”

That was it.

The Saintess’ eyes glazed over in stupor once again, and I walked away.

She came to her senses soon after, and I heard her voice calling me, but I didn’t pay any further attention to it.

The sun was warm and the weather was pleasant.

The clear sky seemed to bless the day.

The moment I left the Church, I found myself gazing at the sky as sunlight bathed the ground.

I wondered if someone was looking down from above, or if they had already fallen deep into hell.

With that, I decided to bury the memories of an old man deep in my heart.

Yes, it was indeed a day when the Lord was with us.

***

I visited Senior Delphine that night.