Little Prodigal Alliance Head (and Cook)

Chapter 38: Whether it’s Beautiful or Not Depends on the Thigh

Tang Doudou was called awake.

The moment she opened her eyes, she saw a face that was completely rejoicing in someone else’s misfortune, certainly not the first thing she wanted to see…

“Little brat, whaddyah wake me up for? Don’t you know sick people need to properly rest?” Tang Doudou rubbed her head, trying to relieve the heavy pressure she felt. When she took a glance at the window, she exclaimed in surprise, “It’s already night?”

“Exactly! You’ve already slept through an entire day.” Seeing her wake up, Jun Xin withdrew his body and sat back onto the chair. He crossed his legs as he leaned back on the chair, a roguish smile slowly appeared on the corners of his mouth.

Tang Doudou rubbed her stomach, good thing she’d sneakily eaten deer meat. Thanks to that, she didn’t feel hungry even after not eating for an entire day.

“Did the medicine Xiao Bai brought for me arrive yet?” Even if there was no meal to eat, she still had to drink the medicine. She definitely had no intention to fall sick after all.

“Yeah, I instructed the servants to simmer it and bring it here the moment it arrived.” Jun Xin indicated for her to look towards her side.

Tang Doudou immediately turned her head and saw a little bowl simmering on a warming stove. It was still piping hot and giving off hot steam, causing an astringent odor of bitter medicine to float over.

Seeing this, Tang Doudou didn’t even think before asking Jun Xin, “Is there candy?”

Jun Xin rolled his eyes and spoke with disdain: “How could a grown man need candy just to drink medicineE/N?!”

“It’s so bitter, how am I supposed to drink it down without candy!?”

Fudge, the thing she hated most since childhood was drinking Chinese medicine. Why didn’t she think of asking Bai Feiyun if there was a pill that can cure a cold earlier? Such a blunder ah!

“You didn’t even drink it yet, how’re yah so sure that it’s bitter? I’ve never seen such a man as old-womanish as you!” Jun Xin continued looking down on her.

…

If Chinese medicine isn’t bitter, then don’t tell me you actually think it’s sweet?

Tang Doudou felt like there was no way to properly communicate with this little brat. Her watery pupils turned. She was suddenly hit with an idea, her eyes shone as she looked at Jun Xin: “How about we make a trade?”

“No thanks!” Jun Xin straightforwardly declined. With just a look, he could tell she wasn’t planning anything good, there was no way he’d fall for it! Not to mention, from the looks of it, this guy probably still didn’t know the fact that Baili Yu was currently preparing to find her to settle the account. Hehe.

How come this guy suddenly became smarter after she took a nap?

Tang Doudou was very frustrated, but for the sake of that candy, she still chuckled on the surface, “You’re refusing before I even explained anything, don’t you think that’s a little too impulsive?”

In regards to this elementary psychological method of a jab, Jun Xin just rolled his eyes. Does she really think he’s a little kid?

“We’ve only known each other for how long? I don’t think we have anything that we can make a trade on.” Jun Xin rubbed his chin, deliberating on how he should divulge that matter in order to produce the most shocking effect.

Tang Doudou didn’t know that Jun Xin still had other plans. Seeing him speak like this, she responded with a very surprised tone: “We’ve only know each other for a little while? How come I seem to remember that it was really really long, hahaha….I think this must be the so-called familiarity at first sight, regret at not having met earlier!”

“Doesn’t feel like it.” In fact, he also shared that feeling. Otherwise, why would he impatiently run over here without even waiting for her to wake up?

Of course, there were other existing reasons. For example, spicy strips?

Jesus ah, this little brat’s intelligence just shoots up to the sky with ‘whoosh whoosh whoosh’s once it gets dark ah!

But for the sake of obtaining a candy, she must be strong and sake it all. After being unable to coax Jun Xin for a long time, she could only take out her trump card, “Do you still want to eat spicy strips?”

“Nope.” For the time being he didn’t want to. Even if he wanted to, he still had to wait until this crisis blew over before considering it again. In any case, right now it would be best not to mention the word ‘spicy’ in this garden…

“Do you want to eat something even tastier than spicy strips?” Tang Doudou continued to toss out bait. Hell, this guy loves stealing food, with one look you could tell he’s a genuine foodie. There’s no way he won’t fall for food!

As expected, when Jun Xin heard that there was something even more delicious than spicy strips, his heart became a bit itchy, “There’s really something…even more tasty?”

Don’t say spicy, no matter what don’t say spicy!

“Tsk, that’s just a normal snack, it’s nothing special. There’s plenty of things far tastier. If you want to sample them, trade for it with candy!” Tang Doudou spread out her hands, her expression was clear. If you wanted to eat her things, then you’ll obviously need to offer something of equal value.

In reality, she didn’t want to do this. Making a meal takes way more effort than a piece of candy, but it couldn’t be helped since she was this type of person. If there was a better alternative available, she definitely wouldn’t have allowed herself to suffer grievances!

Jun Xin considered it seriously for a while before nodding. Taking out a cloth bag from his chest, he picked out a teeny little piece of candy…shard. His eyes were filled with reluctance as he handed it to Tang Doudou, “Na, here. There’s only this little bit left. I’m letting you know to hold it carefully, if you drop it there’s no more!”

Da fudge!

Seeing this, Tang Doudou’s eyes were almost about to pop out from glaring. Could he possibly have been more stingy?

Even saying blind things with your eyes wide open couldn’t be this obvious. That bag was bulging full, it was obvious that there were still a lot ok!?

She didn’t reach out to take it, and still held that expression on her face.

Jun Xin also couldn’t quite keep up his expression anymore either; it seemed it was really a bit too little.

But for the sake of seeing Tang Doudou’s suffering look, Jun Xin thickened his skin and directly went to pick up that medicine. Handing them both over, “Hurry up and drink it. Baili Yu is still looking for you for something!”

After Baili Yu was mentioned, Tang Doudou couldn’t be bothered to argue with Jun Xin anymore. Taking the bowl, she asked: “Baili Yu was looking for me? Looking for me to do what?”

She didn’t even send her spicy strips over, what was Baili Yu looking for her for?

Don’t tell her that the kindness in his heart suddenly flared up big time and he decided to cure the poison for her? Well, no matter what it was, let’s go see first. If in the chance that it really was like this, she’ll really have to express her thanks to Baili Yu. After all, they weren’t familiar with each other, so she couldn’t blame him for not wanting to help her cure the poison.

As she was thinking, she directly lifted up the medicine bowl and started drinking. It was only when the medicine entered her mouth that she noticed something wasn’t right.

This medicine was actually not bitter! Not only was it not better, it even carried a faint sweet and fragrant fresh grass flavor, it was really strange!

Tang Doudou took another sip. It really was sweet.

For some unknown reason, Bai Feiyun’s gentle face appeared in front of her eyes. She sighed, this guy was way too attentive, attentive to the point that it was slightly hard to accept.

“Hey, why’re you not eating the candy? You’re not afraid of the bitterness anymore?” Jun Xin saw that she had already drained the medicine, but that piece of candy shard was still on his palm. Tang Doudou didn’t seem to have the slightest intention to take it, so he got a bit curious.

Tang Doudou sent him an eyeroll. Pinching that shard of candy from his hand, she examined it slowly, then suddenly said: “Jun Xin.”

This was actually the first time Tang Doudou called his full name since they met. Jun Xin was stunned for a moment, after finally realizing that she was really calling him, he opened his mouth to reply: “Wha?”

The voice had just came out when something entered his mouth.

The sweet and unctuous flavor spreaded out, it was very familiar. So Jun Xin closed his mouth and asked: “Why did you give it to me? You don’t want to eat it anymore?”

Tang Doudou dusted off her hands, “I’m worried it’s poisoned, so not eating!”E/N2

“Li Xueyi!” Jun Xin fiercely looked at her. After spitting several times, he cursed, “I’ve never seen a person as shameless and unscrupulous as you!”

“I’ve also never seen a robber as good at looting a burning house as you!”

“!”

“Where did all my clothes go?” Tang Doudou lifted open the blankets, wanting to get up to go find Baili Yu and discovered that she was completely naked. Only then did she remember that she had stripped off all her clothes before getting into bed.

“I’ve thrown them all away.”

“Nani!?(Japanese loanword for ‘what’) Thrown away!?” Tang Doudou immediately stood up with a ‘whoosh’, even having the desire to throttle Jun Xin to death. Da fudge! There were still the two gems that she picked out from Baili Yu’s palanquin in those clothes, and he actually threw them away!?

Seeing her bare naked upper body, Jun Xin’s face turned red again as he scolded: “Li Xueyi, do you know what it means to feel ashamed!?”

They’re both big men, what the wool yarn* does he have to be bashful for?

Yarn gets tangled easily, it’s just an expression to imply slightly incredulous confusion.

Tang Doudou’s internal heat was quite good. Plus the heater in the room was currently blazing, so she didn’t feel cold even though her upper body was naked. Casting a sidelong glance at Jun Xin’s flushed face, she rubbed her chin and suddenly smiled, a rather wicked nefarious type of smile.

“Jun Xin, come over here.”

“Not going.” Jun Xin uncomfortably turned his head away, refusing to look at the Tang Doudou on the bed.

He also didn’t know what he was being embarassed for. A man’s upper body ah, it’s not like he hasn’t seen it before. While training with several fellow apprentice brothers, they would often go with their upper bodies bare to temper their physiques under the waterfall. Sometimes they even help each other massage their backs and stuff, and it had never been awkward like this before ah!

Could it be that it’s because those were his senior brothers and she was an outsider he didn’t know very well?

Jun Xin guessed that it was definitely because of this. In the future once he gets used to it, it’ll probably get a lot better.

If Tang Doudou found out that he still wanted to get used to it in the future, what would she think?

But right now, after Jun Xin had consoled himself for a moment, he was just about to turn around when his brows leaped. An unclear object appeared in the corner of his eyes.

He slowly turned around and almost spurted out a mouthful of blood. Heavens na!

At some unknown time, Tang Doudou, who was originally lying on the bed had gotten up. All that could be seen now was that her body had suddenly become incomparably soft. She was currently laying down languidly on the chair next to the bed, but her body was slightly tilted forward, inadvertently giving off an alluring aura. The strands of hair that fell loose over her forehead softly swayed in the wind, covering up the scheming look in her eyes.

The moment Jun Xin turned to look towards her, Tang Doudou immediately hooked the corners of her thin lips up deviously. Extending out her fine slender fingers, she lift up the black hair next to her ear and flung it backwards. Immediately following that, she sent a coquettish glance towards him. A pair of bright eyes incessantly batted at him as she deliberately lowered her voice, “Oh! My darling Xinxin, is your servant(usually used by female servants) beautiful? Is it that you want your servant to expose the legs?”E/N3

As she spoke, Tang Doudou actually slowly reached out and pulled up her pants. Her posture suggested that as soon as he nodded she’d immediately expose her legs!

Jun Xin’s whole body shook. His entire face was flabbergasted as he looked at certain someone in front of him that was of the male gender, yet even more cottequish than a girl!

Tang Doudou saw the way he was already stupefied, she covered her mouth and gave a light laugh. Unhurriedly rising up, she floated over like a lotus until she arrived in front of him. Then, she swayed her chest while putting on heavy artificial airs, “Little Xinxin, you’re so bad ah! To unexpectedly want to see moi’s leg~ but moi just won’t let you see it, humph! Make you crave to death!”

I know moi means ‘me’ and that’s not the grammatically correct way to use it, but just bear with me please~ I thought about making it more grammatically correct using ‘mon’ ‘ma’ ‘mes’ and ‘je’, but it just seems like a bad idea. This Chinese term is actually 伦家(lun3jia1), which is a cutesy form of the word 人家(ren3jia1). Ren jia translates to ‘other family’s person’, which can be used when you’re talking to someone about ‘other people’ or when you’re refering to yourself in a slightly arrogant way. For example, you can say 人家(everyone) all likes pusheens ah! Or so what, 人家(I) just likes wasabi flavored ice-cream! So I shall be using moi for 伦家.

Jun Xin:

“Xinxin ah darling, are you hot?”

“Darling Xinxin, if you’re hot then just take off your clothes ah, let me help you.” Tang Doudou curved her eyes as she slowly walked closer.

“Li-li Xueyi! What are you doing! Y-you’re shameless!” When he heard the words ‘take off clothes’, Jun Xin’s shocked brain finally came back around the bend and reacted. Looking with an almost hysterical panic at Tang Doudou as she approached, he retreated step after step. He immediately covered his front lapels, looking completely charming and weak as if he were being pressured by a vulgar uncle. Seeing that, Tang Doudou’s wolf nature flared up and she itched to pounced over and directly…

Alright, she doesn’t have the tool to commit that crime. But this guy really is incredibly tsundere, teasing him a bit isn’t bad.

As she thought of this, her pace suddenly increased. She had already forced Jun Xin into a corner in just a few steps.

“Don’t come over here! Otherwise I-I’ll call someone here!” At this time, Jun Xin’s fair face was already thoroughly flushed red. In all his years of life, when had he ever faced a scenario like this? His brain was completely blank, he even forgot the fact that he knew martial arts for the time being.

But what kind of person is Tang Doudou? Looking at the panic in this little guy’s eyes and his appearance, Tang Doudou already knew that he was already lost to the point where he couldn’t recover himself. Whatever she does to him right now, he wouldn’t be able to respond until half a day later.

Fresh and pure little virgin(male), it precisely described what Jun Xin was like now.

In modern times, a young man who was this pure only existed inside novels and TV shows. In reality, all of them had little adult movies stored inside their cloud drives, so Tang Doudou could only read some novels and endlessly YY(fantasize).

With this perfect young man that was in front of her right now that even had a tsundere attribute. If she doesn’t properly tease him a little, wouldn’t it be completely wasting her transmigration?

The more Tang Doudou thought about it, the more excited she got. Reaching out, she pressured the helpless Jun Xin to the wall, and a perfect ‘thump’ resounded as her palm hit the wall. Throwing out a sigh, the corners of her lips nefariously rose up as she spoke ambiguously, “Darling ah, hurry up and call ok? The louder the better ah, I’m already itching to get on with it…”

__________

Credits: Translated by Chiyomira, Edited by Prady

[Chiyomira’s Corner]

Author note: There’s still one watch period(2 hours) to the night XOXO~~~~~ Switched to a particularly festive cover, hahaha, does everyone like it?

C: Not sure which cover she’s talking about. On xiang5 she uses the current one and a google search only turns up one other cover so here~

E/N: How could a grown woman also need candy just to drink medicine 😛 lmfao

C: Moi doesn’t need candy, moi just needs a ton of water. Candy mixed with the taste of Chinese medicine is like black coffee with honey, literally. XP

E/N2: ….wow

E/N3: omg so evil

E/N4: Has she ever heard of discord? She will find many, everyone here is like poor Jun Xin.

C: Shoutout to join the volarenovels discord~~

Since there’s a lot of commentary already, I’ve moved my original explanation of the placements of ‘he’ and ‘she’s to a later chapter~

Glossary