Life in Vain: Jobless Reincarnation

200 – The Angelic Daughter’s Insecurity

It was a mistake that unfolded in an instant.

She didn't realize until it was already too late.

Her father always said that her life was the most important. That she shouldn't do something reckless like throw it away for someone else.

Even so...

"The blinding light of my love for you shines brighter than a thousand suns! Nay, words are inadequate to profess my love for you! Please, accept it!"

Those words and the myriad other sincere but awkward declarations he made flickered in her mind.

That young man was weird, but earnest.

She remembered that when she first rescued him with her father, that young man had been a sniveling child, terrified at everything in the distortion.

It was honestly a bit pathetic.

At the time, she had been small too, but she still followed Daddy around to fight.

But after he was rescued, that then boy, now young man began following her around. With bright and shining eyes, he kept pestering her about needing anything or if there was anything he could do for her.

She didn't know how to respond to such scary sincerity, so she ignored him and ran away when he tried to talk to her.

Then time passed. She didn't see him for a while since she followed Daddy around into more distortions.

Because of that, she got bigger, and he got bigger too.

When they met again, the young man was still weird. Every time he looked at her, he had that strange bright look in his eyes. He also smiled too much and seemed a bit too cheery.

But he had become more serious. Despite his appearance, he managed to rein it in when they worked together and were in public.

Because of that, she started to feel a bit more relaxed around him... though he was still a bit weird.

But after the revolution at Millishion, the young man changed again. Although he still looked at her with clear affection, he was calm and collected. He could even have a normal conversation with her without breaking into cheesy proclamations of love.

That was why she accepted his request to help in his research.

It was an interesting idea, and she was also interested on why he had changed.

She thought Daddy would appreciate the results of the research, and she knew she would appreciate learning on why that weird young man had changed.

Fun.

She could say without a doubt that those times were fun.

Researching into whether a true 'heaven' could exist where people could rest after they died and be reborn. And if it didn't, whether they could create one.

She thought it was possible. And she enjoyed reading the stories about Saint Milis and seeing which parts could be reproduced.

He always joked about how they were practically doing blasphemy, but that it was fine since an angel was on their side.

She thought he was ridiculous as always... but it wasn't as awkward at least.

As they spent time together, it became apparent that the young man was smart and thoughtful. And also that he was very busy those days.

Even so, she remembered that he made time to bring her meals when she was lost in research.

Of course, it was him who should be eating considering how often he forgot his meals as well.

She thought he was silly that way. Still a weird and awkward person... although strangely considerate of her.

So she asked him. One day, while they were finishing up an experiment on the nature of light, she asked him why he was so considerate.

She knew that she was beautiful and attractive. Daddy always warned her of that, and Grandpa too.

...And especially after that 'incident,' she began to notice just how much people stared at her.

But their gazes were always lewd and dark.

His wasn't. Still, she asked him.

"Why do you like me?"

Was it because she was pretty? Because he liked how she looked?

He had laughed. Staring at her with his dark brown eyes, he had let out a soft smile and said, "You are indeed beautiful, ***. But that is not why I treat you well or like you."

"Then why?"

She remembered it.

For her, it had been a casual question. But for him, it wasn't.

He had stared at her for a while and then said, "Milis teaches us that we will find a single true love within our lives. And from the moment I met you, I knew that I had found mine."

She had been confused and asked why he thought so highly of the words from a fake god.

He had laughed. "A fake god... when compared to your father, Milis does seem so. Still." He had placed his hand over his heart and let out a soft smile. "Even if that teaching is fake, I know that this feeling is true."

She couldn't understand.

But he realized it and elaborated.

"I admired your courage to go into distortions as a small girl and fight. I adored your genius to use magic in such a radiant manner. I appreciated your intelligence in knowing various fields of study. And..." He again let out that soft smile and said, "I cannot help but be struck by your pure soul."

He was wrong. She wasn't brave. She just wasn't scared because she was with Daddy.

She wasn't a magical genius, she was made that way.

She wasn't smart or intelligent, she was given that ability by her father.

As for a pure soul... how could she be pure when she still got angry, upset, sad...

She didn't understand him. And she told him so.

But he simply smiled and said, "That is proof enough that I am correct."

He was weird. And again, she told him that.

But he simply smiled and said, "I suppose I am. The future Pope falling in love with the daughter of a heretic god... and a Demon Lord at that. But even so... if I must live in a world without you, Ena, then I do not want to live at all."

...Weird.

He was weird.

...But she realized it then.

She was weird too.

Because...

...She wasn't real, but acted like she was.

She knew it. And her sister did as well.

Although Daddy treated them like his children, they were created as 'tools' first. They weren't 'born' as children.

She knew that he loved them now and cared for them as family. And she knew that he did so shortly after they were born.

But she also knew that Daddy didn't plan for them to be children at all.

And she told him that.

Since he cared so much, she wanted to tell him how she felt. And that it wouldn't work.

But he didn't care.

"You are here, alive, and well. That is all that matters to me. And, like that 'fake' saying... even if you are a 'fake' too, my feelings for you are true. I can promise you this."

It was weird.

He was weird.

...And so was she.

A fleeting scene.

She didn't know why she was recalling it.

...Ah.

She knew why.

When the window into <Heaven> collapsed, she had felt the mana surge first.

Without thinking, she had jumped in front of him and pushed him aside. Saved him, instead of herself.

Daddy would have scolded her. And her sister would have scolded her too.

After all, her life was the most important. That was what they always said.

But...

'...I think ***** is a little important too.'

The last thought she had before the light enveloped her.

"...na!"

...It was a pity. He was wasting his time.

Although she appeared human, her body was mana imitating flesh.

Even if she suffered a mortal wound, as long as there was mana, she could restore it.

So she couldn't be with him. He was human, and she was a construct in the shape of a human. One that only had the good fortune to be called a child by the one who created her.

...And she could feel it now. The 'her' that had been created by Daddy was melting away.

"...NA!"

She was dissolving. 'Something' else was filling her up and changing her. And when that was done, she would be gone.

Scary.

It was scary.

She was scared.

She wanted to cry out for Daddy to help.

She wanted to activate the pendant he gave her for emergencies.

But she couldn't move. Her body wasn't under her control. Her mana wasn't under control. 'She' wasn't under control.

And at this rate, she herself would disappear.

"...won't...! ...that happen!"

'Huh?'

It was a voice.

Not an echo of a memory, but a true voice.

It was muffled and hard to hear, but it was definitely there.

And it was familiar.

But... who?

Static filled her mind.

The name and face that should have come to mind didn't.

She was starting to forget.

The strange 'something' eating away at her was causing her to crumble away.

"I won't let you go! I won't let it take you away!"

A young man's voice, clear and familiar.

It was too late.

She couldn't even remember her own name.

But...

If this was the last thing she would remember...

She opened her eyes.

A beautiful orange sky without a cloud in sight.

Her father, standing nearby with his arms outstretched and straining to hold something at bay.

And there, right in front of her...

"Take my hand, Ena! Even if you think you are just a dream, even if you do not care about your life... I care! I care a lot! So please...! Don't give up! Please!"

She saw him. An image that would remain etched in her heart forever.

A young man with black bangs and dark brown eyes. A face that was always a bit too sincere when talking to her in the past, filled with emotions she couldn't understand.

But a face that was crying right now, etched with deep sorrow and despair.

...That wasn't right.

He shouldn't be like that.

Even if she didn't remember who she was, she knew that.

A gentle warmth.

Not like her father, who was a sun that could light up the universe.

But a soft candlelight illuminating her way in the dark.

Something that was always there, sometimes too dim, sometimes too bright, but always reliable.

...She remembered.

His name was Cliff.

And she was-

"ENA!"