If You Could Hear My Heart

Chapter 473: Whoever Dies First, Loses
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Her hand rested on the back of the wheelchair, her voice bland and cool, “I’ll help you up.”

She lowered her head, not looking into Shen Cexian’s eyes; instead, it was Shen Cexian who kept staring at her.

“If you don’t want me to push you, I can leave,” Zhou Ran said.

She lifted her gaze slightly, not a trace of sparkle in her eyes, as if she were speaking to a man completely irrelevant to her.

Suddenly, Shen Cexian lifted his hand, placing his broad palm on the back of her hand.

“Zhou Ran…” He called her name, his eyes filled with unending regret.

Years pass, clothes wear thin. Dusk dyes, morning chill bites.

Time slips away, like a swift horse racing by…

Though it was summer, Shen Cexian’s hand was icy cold, causing Zhou Ran to tremble slightly when he placed his hand on hers.

She moved her eyelids, thinking of looking up, but in the end, she still didn’t look at him.

“The elevator is here,” she said indifferently.

Zhou Ran pushed him to the elevator, and as soon as it arrived, she wheeled him inside.

There were few people in the private hospital, even fewer at this hour.

Only Zhou Ran and Shen Cexian were in the elevator.

As the doors closed, Zhou Ran went to press the floor button, just as Shen Cexian raised his hand as well.

Their fingers crossed; Zhou Ran withdrew hers as if electrocuted. On the other hand, Shen Cexian’s eyes deepened with sorrow.

He pressed the floor button, and the elevator slowly ascended.

The elevator was quiet; neither of them spoke.

Shen Cexian’s hospital room was on the sixth floor, and they soon arrived.

He thought Zhou Ran would leave as soon as they reached the floor, but she didn’t walk away and instead pushed him into his room.

“Aran.”

Shen Cexian finally spoke, calling her by that name.

He hadn’t called her that in a long time…

His hoarse voice echoed in the empty corridor, sounding especially forlorn and somber.

Zhou Ran followed him, her grip on the wheelchair tightening gradually.

No expression crossed her face, nor did she speak.

Aran… It had been many years since he called her that.

She remembered, back in college, Xu Mengxi loved calling her Aran. Gradually, after getting closer to Shen Cexian, he started calling her Aran too.

But afterwards, there was no afterwards.

Memory, like the endless spring rain, pattering over the heart but hurting more than hail.

Reminiscing about the past, every thought turned pale yellow, could it revive with a breath of spring air…?

Aran, Aran.

That year, the ginkgo leaves fell, the autumn air was crisp, and the sky with drifting clouds shone with a far-reaching, wistful melancholy.

The setting sun stained the ground with fallen leaves, and the wind blew, swirling the withered leaves into the air, merging with the dimming sunset into one color.

That year, he sat on the bench under the ginkgo tree, gently calling her “Aran” as she passed by after class.

His eyes were clear, his smile bright and pure.

Zhou Ran’s hands paused, and the wheelchair stopped.

But time has intermingled with far too many things…

The years were not as kind as they once were.

Shen Cexian wanted to turn around, but he simply closed his eyes and sighed softly instead.

“Aran, when we got divorced… you said that whoever dies first, loses,” Shen Cexian said, a faint smile curving at the corner of his lips.

Zhou Ran’s hand tightened on the wheelchair, gripping it harder and harder, her knuckles growing whiter by the moment…

Her eyes lifted slightly, as deep and inscrutable as the ocean, concealing their profound depths.

Her lips were tightly sealed, yet a misty layer of moisture glistened on her eyelashes.

“We’ve despised each other all our lives…” Shen Cexian’s voice was very low, and his pace of speech, very slow, “In the end, I still have to go first…”

His voice lingered in the corridor, hovering around Zhou Ran’s ears.

Zhou Ran remained silent, silent…

Without a response from Zhou Ran, Shen Cexian smiled faintly, “Aran, take me back to the room, please…”

Zhou Ran’s lips moved slightly as she spoke softly, as if talking about something that had nothing to do with her, “Shen Cexian, your desire to win has always been so strong, you never wanted to lose to me.”

She paused, “So… you’re not allowed to lose.”

Shen Cexian’s face was initially calm, but at her words, a peculiar sparkle finally appeared in his dark eyes…

“If you lose, I win for this lifetime, are you content with that?” Zhou Ran lowered her head, her voice low and husky.

Something seemed stuck in her throat, an indistinct bitterness. At her heart, there was a knife-twisting pain spreading slowly, bit by bit…

Shen Cexian didn’t speak again; he leaned back in the wheelchair, eyes gently closed.

He and Zhou Ran, truly, had been competing their whole lives.

For a long time, Zhou Ran didn’t receive an answer from Shen Cexian.

Gradually, she gripped the wheelchair once more, pushing it forward…

She moved slowly, and he wished she would go slower.

In their life together, their time was not lengthy, often missing out on one another because of quarrels.

From the start, they married due to a business alliance.

Formerly, the Zhou Family was far stronger than the Shen Family, to unite with them was somewhat a loss.

Back then, he vowed to grow his enterprise larger and stronger to escape the oppression of her father.

At that time, he also wanted to get rid of her…

Thirteen years ago, he finally got his wish, and they divorced.

But why didn’t he feel as relieved as he had imagined…

Even after thirteen years, still not…

Zhou Ran pushed the wheelchair towards the hospital room; no matter how slow, the end always comes.

“We’re here,” Zhou Ran said softly.

Standing by the door, she glanced at the room number.

She pushed open the door, and sunshine streamed in through the half-open curtains, filling the room with light.

The room was so full of light, it made one feel momentarily dazed.

Zhou Ran wheeled Shen Cexian in and closed the door behind them.

Not one to talk much, Zhou Ran helped him rise after pushing him into the room.

“Walk around a bit, the sunlight by the window is nice,” she stated simply.

As she drew near him, he smelled that once-familiar scent on her again.

Like elusive orchids, lingering long in the depths of his soul…

All that was once familiar, like sand slipping through one’s fingers, escaping little by little.

The past, after all, became the past…

And the sand that leaked through the gaps in his fingers, scattered lightly with the wind…

When Zhou Ran lowered her head to help him up, he lifted his gaze, fixating on her in silence.

She was still so beautiful, with just a few more fine lines at the corners of her eyes.

She was still young, like she was over twenty years ago. As she neared him, he gazed at her luminous eyes and reflexively lifted his hand.

Halfway raised, Zhou Ran turned to look at him.

Shen Cexian’s heart skipped a beat, that hand suspended mid-air, finally falling back down…

They were divorced now; he no longer had the right to touch her.

Zhou Ran watched him, momentarily forgetting to come back to herself.

This was the first time she’d looked at him so closely since their divorce, so very close.