I Was Hoping She Would Notice but again Now When She Did... Im Tired

Jimmy’s hands trembled as he gripped the phone, his mind racing in turmoil. The weight of it felt too heavy, almost unbearable, as if Lucian’s final message was burdened with the unsaid words, the incomplete memories, and everything they hadn’t done together. His heart pounded, but it felt hollow, a dull ache in his chest, like it had been carved out by the grief of losing his closest friend.

The silence in the room was deafening, except for the occasional muffled sobs from Garry, who was still on his knees next to Lucian’s lifeless body, wiping away the endless stream of tears that refused to stop.

Jimmy’s thumb hovered over the screen, hesitating. It felt like opening the phone would be the final nail in the coffin the ultimate confirmation that Lucian was truly gone. His body ached, the weight of his sorrow pressing down on him with an unbearable heaviness that no amount of strength could push away.

Garry, now sitting slumped against the wall, looked up with glazed eyes, his face streaked with tears. His voice was hoarse, almost broken when he asked, "What’s in it, Jimmy?" He wiped his face with his sleeve again, but it didn’t matter. The tears kept coming, his body betraying him as it tried to hold back the flood of emotions.

Jimmy swallowed hard, his throat dry and tight. He wasn’t sure if he was ready. How could anyone be ready to face the final words of a friend who had torn his own heart out literally and figuratively? His hands began to shake more violently as his breath came in short, uneven bursts. The gravity of the situation bore down on him, making it difficult to breathe.

He closed his eyes, even if for just a moment, to hold back the tears threatening to spill over. He had to stay in control he couldn’t fall apart. Not yet. Not until he saw what Lucian had to say.

Finally, after what felt like hours, Jimmy looked at the password screen. He sighed, a hollow sound that seemed to echo the emptiness in his chest. Of course, he knew the password. It wasn’t Avey’s birthday, nor was it Lucian’s own. No, it was the birthdate of Lucian’s sister, the one who had treated him so coldly. Yet, Lucian never stopped loving her.

Even after everything she had done, he couldn’t stop caring about her.

"That stupid bastard..." Jimmy muttered under his breath, shaking his head as he entered the password and unlocked the phone.

The home screen appeared, simple and uncluttered just like Lucian himself. The background photo was Avey, the woman Lucian had given everything for. Jimmy’s stomach twisted, his insides burning with a mixture of anger and sorrow as he stared at her smiling face. Carefree, oblivious to the pain she had caused, the heartbreak she left behind.

"Why, Lucian? Why her?" Jimmy’s jaw clenched, his teeth grinding together. How could Lucian have done all this for her? She had never cared for him, not in the way he had loved her. And now, her heart beat with Lucian’s his life inside of her, and she didn’t even know the full extent of his sacrifice.

A cold wave of fury washed over him, but behind that rage was an even colder, aching sadness that weighed heavily in his chest.

His thumb hovered over the gallery icon. He knew that whatever was in there would only break him further. And yet, he had no choice but to see it to confront the last pieces of Lucian that remained.

When he opened the gallery, he saw dozens of photos and videos most of them of Avey, his mother, and his sister and even them. Jimmy’s fingers twitched with anger as he scrolled through them. There were even photos of Jimmy and Garry, memories from better days, but the images of Avey seemed to overshadow everything.

The bitterness in Jimmy’s heart deepened as he finally found the most recent video, timestamped the day before Lucian’s surgery.

Jimmy’s breath caught in his throat as he realized what it was. Lucian’s final message.

Garry, noticing the shift in Jimmy’s demeanor, pulled himself together as best as he could, though his body still shook with grief. "Is it… is it from him?" Garry’s voice was soft, almost afraid of the answer. He crawled closer, wiping his tear-streaked face with his sleeve as he watched Jimmy’s every move, his heart pounding in his chest.

Jimmy didn’t answer. Instead, he tapped the screen, and the video began to play.

Lucian’s face appeared, grainy and shaky, but the smile he wore was unmistakable tired, yes, but still the smile they had come to know. But this smile was different. It was filled with sadness, hiding untold stories and heartbreak too deep for words. His eyes, always filled with warmth, now carried the weight of a thousand burdens.

"Hey, Jimmy, Garry…" Lucian’s voice was calm, but there was a tension beneath the surface, a strain that told them this message wasn’t easy for him to record. "If you’re watching this, it means I’m… gone. I know you’re probably pissed. Hell, you’re probably ready to kill me, and honestly, I wouldn’t blame you."

Jimmy’s heart clenched. His hands gripped the phone tighter, his knuckles white as he stared at his best friend on the screen, alive but still so far away, already lost to the world forever.

"I couldn’t… I couldn’t keep living like this," Lucian’s voice cracked, and he paused, rubbing a hand through his hair. His gaze dropped, avoiding the camera for a moment. "I know you guys had my back. Always. You were the only family I ever had. But the thing is… it just wasn’t enough.

Not because of you God, I love you both but because of me. I couldn’t stop loving her. Avey, my sister, my mother… I loved them all, and it killed me every day."

Tears welled up in Jimmy’s eyes, but he fought them back, wiping them away angrily as if refusing to give in to the weakness. Garry wasn’t so strong. He had already broken down again, his body shaking with sobs as Lucian’s words cut deep into his soul.

"You were enough for us, Lucian. You were f**king enough…" Garry whispered through his tears, but his words were lost to the void, swallowed by the grief that filled the room.

"I know this is the dumbest thing I could ever do," Lucian continued, his voice strained. He ran his hands through his hair, his eyes heavy with regret. "But I needed her to have something… something that meant something to me. My heart… It’s broken, man. It’s been broken for so long that I don’t even know how to feel anything else.

I just hope that by giving her mine, even if she doesn’t understand it, she’ll have a piece of me with her. I know it’s f**ked up. But it’s all I’ve got left."

Jimmy’s fists clenched even tighter, the fury rising in his chest. He wanted to scream, to throw the phone across the room, to break something anything. His body trembled with rage and sorrow, each emotion battling for control of his heart. How could Lucian have believed that Avey would care? She had never cared. She had never deserved him.

Lucian’s voice grew softer as he continued, the weight of his sorrow bleeding through. "You guys… you were the only ones who ever gave a damn about me. I want you to know that. But I can’t do this anymore. I’m tired, man. I’m so fking tired.

Every breath I take feels like a poison, slowly killing me from the inside out. I just couldn’t handle the pain anymore."

Tears began to roll down Jimmy’s cheeks, and this time, he didn’t wipe them away. He couldn’t. They fell freely as his chest heaved with emotion, the grief too overwhelming to fight.

Lucian’s voice wavered, and his eyes glistened with unshed tears. "Brothers, we’ve been through so much together, and I wish… I wish I could have been stronger. I wish I could have given you more. You both were the reason I held on for as long as I did. But I was selfish this time."

Garry sobbed quietly, his head hung low as the weight of Lucian’s final words pressed down on his heart like an anchor, dragging him deeper into the ocean of grief. "Why, Lucian… why didn’t you talk to us? We could’ve helped…"

Lucian’s eyes flicked up to the camera, the pain etched deep into his face. "I have one last wish, brothers… Please, take care of them. Don’t hurt them. I know you want to… I know you’re angry. But they don’t deserve it. Not because of me."

Jimmy’s body stiffened, and for a moment, his breath caught in his throat. Lucian knew he knew that Jimmy and Garry would want revenge. But even in his final moments, Lucian