Humanity Online: World Sanctuary

Chapter 81: Erebus Yeets Shit

BEHIND THE SCENES BEFORE THE BOSS

(Erebus POV)

'Hey Nova AI, I'd like to use my Chaos Incarnate Title ability, if you're down.'

I only have to wait a few seconds to hear that ethereal sunshine voice in my mind.

{In what capacity?}

'Sooo, I may have announced I could beat this Boss blindfolded'

I think I hear an amused giggle from the AI, but I can't be positive.

I decide to believe it definitely didn't happen because the alternative freaks me out too much.

{Ahem. Request granted. Gear may be torn to create scrap material of appropriate length; then may be equipped as a BLINDFOLD and will Blind wearer. Side Effect: If wearer has Perception +20, Perception will temporarily Increase by 5% for all other sensory input.}

I shiver in excitement. It's even better than I could have hoped.

I send up my thanks to the Nova AI and turn to Kara.

I return her now-crimson cap. It fits like a woven slouch beanie, and she looks so adorable, my heart stops. I planned to jokingly smush it on her head, but my grip softens, and instead, I end up gently tugging it down before brushing a few soft tendrils of hair out of her face.

Her coral cheeks color prettily. "You did pretty okay, Erebus."

"You are pretty, Kara Geir," I tell her honestly.

"And I'm pretty fly for a white guy," Nanuk interjects. "How wonderful for us all. Now, if we could be moving on"

Coughing, I force myself to remember we're in the middle of a deadly dungeon. Then I make a mental note to swap Nanuk out for my #1 WingWoman Jade Thorn as soon as possible.

I step away from Kara and clear my throat. "You, uh, have a +2 PER talisman, right?"

Without even asking why I need it, she calls it out of storage and passes it to me.

My smile is genuine when I equip it, officially moving myself to Perception +20. 'Thanks,' my eyes say.

'Any time,' her bright eyes reply.

With a deep breath, I hop up onto a piece of rubble and explain to everyone what's going on.

"I've recentlyuhdiscovered a game secret." I turn to the 'camera,' which really just means I face the air and hope the game recorder auto-focuses on me. "Let's just say I wasn't kidding when I said I could beat this Boss blindfolded."

Smirking, I wink obnoxiously at the viewers, knowing there's no better way to piss off everyone who died in this Dungeon yesterday.

There's a surprised beat, then all four of my Party members burst out laughing.

Even Nanuk finally seems to understand my level of insanity, and though he's shaking his head like I'm a crazy person, he's also laughing in anticipation of the shitshow Boss Battle I'm about to show the world.

"You are a crazy motherfucker," Nightfury wheezes.

"Thank you!" I grin and strike my Captain Underpants pose.

Clutching his stomach, Nightfury laughs even harder and mutters something that sounds awfully like, "What a bloody jackass," but I'm sure I misheard.

I jump down and skip over to the Draegkyn, then pull out a dagger.

Mimicking the time Kara lazily traced my Windflower emblem with a blade, I raise the dagger to Nightfury's tunic. Then I flutter my eyelashes and step even closer.

That cuts off his laughter real quick.

"I need material for the blindfold. Care to do the honors? Bet you'll look all sexy fighting the final boss in an artfully torn tunic, rippling muscles and shining dragon scales on view for the world to see," I boldly flirt.

All the blood drains from Nightfury's face, and he chokes.

Somewhere behind me, Kara's losing it with the cutest giggles I've ever heard.

That seems to snap Nightfury out of his shock, and he shakily points. "Why not her? Isn't it usually the badass hot chick who ends up half-naked during battle sequences?"

Visions of Kara fighting in a tight, ripped shirt distract me from any further mental processes for a full ten seconds.

Kara's voice brings me out of my reverie. "Aww Nightfury! You think I'm badass?" She's teasing, but she sounds genuinely surprised, which makes all four of us guys share a look.

"Kara, you literally kick ass. Constantly," Nightfury replies.

"You're so natural in your Valkyrie avatar I legit sometimes think you're a mythical Norse warrior come to life," Taliesin adds.

Nanuk, Nightfury, and I nod in agreement.

She opens her mouth to tease us, but seems at a loss for words. I can tell she's pleased, though, in the way she half-smiles fondly.

Then she remembers what started this compliment fest, and she narrows her glittering eyes at Nightfury. "Guess you're the badass hot chick today, friend. There will be no ripping my clothes, artful or otherwise."

Nightfury gulps at the murderous glint in her expression, and nods before he fully thinks it through.

I shoot Kara a huge grin, then tug on Nightfury's shirt and slash.

"Hey!" he cries, alarmed, but it's too late.

"You needed better gear anyway," I console him, holding the red-violet scrap. "I'll have Arachne give you a discount."

Taliesin cheers and bounds over to the giant Boss Door. "Great! Let's do this!"

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|[ VIDEO ]|

"Let's just say I wasn't kidding when I said I could fight this Boss blindfolded."

By the time the Boss fight rolls around, no one watching is even surprised when the video cuts to Erebus making an insane claim while standing atop rubble.

In fact, the only aspect of this entire ridiculous plan anyone does find surprising, is that Nightfury seems self-conscious after his shirt is slashed. With ripped abs like that, 100% of viewers agree that the Draegkyn has exactly ZERO reasons to be concerned. The smattering of scarlet dragon scales arranged in an interesting design along his torso only add to the overall effect.

Regardless, when Erebus flirtatiously asks Nightfury to do the honors of tying on the blindfold, the Draegkyn instead whacks Erebus across the head and stomps off in a huff, causing the D'Raven to turn to Kara with a wounded expression on his tattooed face.

"Why do you think Nightfury is playing so hard to get?" Erebus asks in a petulant whine.

Kara snorts. "It doesn't even occur to you he legit hates your guts, does it?"

Erebus frowns for a millisecond, as if deep in thought, then shakes his head.

"Can't be," he responds seriously, then grins. "I'm delightful."

And with that, he equips the blindfold himself and dashes off to kick ass.

The Final Boss is Baron Redcomb, the redcap who rules over the Hermitage Castle ruins. His hat is soaked in the blood of 10,000 men, and has become a red so dark, it appears black.

Unlike the Normal and Hard Mode Baron, Nightmare Mode Baron Redcomb uses Blood Magic attacks, on top of his huge ancient scythe and the stone magic all redcaps are known for.

The battle is exactly as insane as one might expect.

Every few minutes, falling boulders act as chamber traps. Somehow, the entire Chaos Party figures out the pattern for the falling stones within the first two seconds of the very first attack, and no one takes more than minimal damage, which Nanuk Heals easily.

Erebus discovers the cheat for the trap even while blindfolded; the boulders don't fall on the Boss. As soon as Taliesin calls out the first warning, the D'Raven mad dashes to the stomping Boss and clambers up him like he's climbing a very ugly tree.

He takes damage because the Boss's vibrations count as attacks, but he sinks his dark blade into the Redcap's upper back to hold on, and has plenty of time to drink a health potion while he rides out the storm.

Kara immediately grasps the true usefulness of this positioning and sends battle commands to everyone in the Party, even while dodging flying rocks.

Like she anticipated, the second the boulder attack ends and the Boss stops stomping, he's frozen for a second by the end-of-attack backlash. "NOW!" she cries, and Erebus immediately unleashes a flurry of attacks from behind the Baron while the others attack the front.

Right before the Boss gets his movement ability back, Erebus and Kara coordinate to slash at the Boss's ankles from the front and back simultaneously. Nanuk and Nightfury also coordinate and hit the Baron in the forehead with a boomerang and a triple-arrow shot at the same time. Also at the same time, Taliesin leaps off Kara's back to fling directly into the Boss's chest.

[FULL-PARTY COORDINATED STRIKE! COMBO EFFECT TRIPLED!]

All five attacks land perfectly, and the Boss falls dramatically to the floor.

Kara reaches between the Boss's feet to grab Erebus's outstretched arm and slide him through the Baron's legs before he's crushed under the Boss's weight.

"Damn." Nightfury sighs as Kara and Erebus leap up, unharmed, black and white wings wrapped around each other. "It would have been hilarious if he outmaneuvered every attack blindfolded, then died, smushed by giant redcap ass."

Classic Nightfury.

After another round of furious attacks by the Chaos Party, the Boss finally lumbers to his feet and begins a series of scythe attacks. His Party-Wipe AoE attacks are the most dangerous, but all five Party members see them coming in plenty of time to dodge. The others stop bothering to warn Erebus after the first two times, when they realize he's actually moving to safety a half-second before they are.

When pressed, Erebus simply says he can hear the attack change coming.

"Why, can't you?" he asks, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

From the looks on the rest of his Party's faces, the answer is definitely "No."

"Obviously we can," they all reply.

After the Boss finally dips into the Red Zone of his HP, the Final Stage begins. At last, the Boss switches from stone attacks to Blood Magic.

With one clawed hand, he mystically pulls blood from his cap and shoots droplets of blood like crimson bullets.

No matter how good Erebus is, he has no way to dodge this attack. In fact, none of them see it coming, since it's not an attack this Boss ever used in the beta.

But that doesn't matter to Chaos Party.

The second the first droplets appear in the air, Taliesin and Kara wordlessly grab Erebus and throw him back toward the ranged fighters. Then they dive behind boulders and swap out their weapons for shields.

Nightfury snags Erebus out of the air and hauls him to the ground, then dives over the D'Raven. Erebus instinctively wraps his black wings around both of them and flips them over.

Nanuk's only Shield skill is a personal one, so he protects himself, then keeps watch, the only party member with an unobstructed view. He calls out instructions and warnings to everyone as the Blood attacks fly, and right before a series of blood bullets hit the two encased in raven wings, he shouts and Erebus activates his three-second Invincibility.

It doesn't last quite long enough, but after a few seconds of being pummeled by blood bullets, Nightfury rolls them over again and takes the final round of attacks.

When the bullets stop zooming through the air, everyone in the Chaos Party has amazingly survived.

Of course, then Erebus leans up and whispers something to Nightfury, and the red-faced Draegkyn almost ruins all their good work by trying to murder his teammate.

Laughing, Erebus tosses Nightfury atop a boulder and escapes his grasp to race back to continue the attacks on the Boss.

Enraged that his attack failed to kill the intruders, the Boss siphons even more blood from his cap and creates a whip capable of wide AoE attacks.

Unfortunately for the Boss, as soon as Taliesin tells Erebus what's happening, the D'Raven gets a look on his face that should honestly scare the Boss away.

"Leeroyyyy Jenkins!" Erebus yells, forcing the Boss to face his direction. Then he uses what seems to be a Crowd Control spell that sends ominous fog flowing out from his fingertips and slows down the Boss's movements. As he moves fluidly to attack, Erebus somehow seems far more terrifying a monster than the Baron himself.

Because the Boss wields his blood whip in his right hand, he's forced to hold his two-handed scythe only his bloody left claw. Erebus leaves shadow slices all throughout the fog, and the second the Boss hits one and cries out, Erebus uses his insane reflexes and a well-placed FangBite to the wrist to disarm the Boss.

He hand-signs his dual blades away and hefts the giant scythe, only to spin around, then swing up and attack the Boss's unguarded groin.

The Boss actually flies up into the air, so Erebus throws the scythe up to hit the Boss AGAIN, knocking him even further back, to where Kara is ready to impale the Boss on her spear as he lands, before flinging him to the ground. Taliesin is in his demon goat shift, prepared to ram the Boss's face with his curled demonic horns, and the ranged attackers land a series of hits.

Finally, Erebus raises his gleaming silver-white sword into the air and calls forth his most impressive attack. The blinding white sword of justice rains down and spears the Boss in a massive explosion, and the last of the Boss's HP disappears.

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RELATED COMMENTS

Lialas: HOLY BEJEEBUS THAT BOSS FIGHT THO

--- Shadeslayer: AHHHHHHHHHh

--- Kane: AHHHHH +1000

--- Pauli the Pu`ca: AHHHH +Infinity WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS THAT?!

God: Chaos Party is Perfect Party

--- Blazing Fists: *nods furiously*

--- Kvasir: God has spoken Truth.

rickroller: If my whack ass Party had to fight this whack ass dungeon, we'd ff at 15*

--- Odin'sEyeball: hell, my Party wouldn't even last fifteen minutes before wiping out, so we'd have no need to forfeit

Here.For.It: I would like to thank Erebus for showing us the glory that is Nightfury's abs, and also Zhao Jianyu for inventing this game, and also Jesus because seeing Erebus rip Nightfury's clothes off was a religious experience #blessed

--- F3AR R3AP3R: #BLESSED AF

--- Erebus: You're so very welcome.

Black Stabbath: I think a better title for this whole vid would be "Erebus Yeets Shit"

--- MothaEffinOedipus: I stg an epic-tier dragon could show up and erebus would be like "sweet, hidden boss. lemme just *yeets exploding dart*"

--- Kvasir: yeah and then *miraculously lands Hidden Epic Critical Hit of Epicness, insta-kills dragon* and Erebus would shrug and be like "I 100% did that on purpose. You're welcome."

--- Ivan the Tolerable: LiveStream Drinking Game: Take one drink every time Erebus yeets a weapon, take one shot every time he yeets a Boss, and every time he yeets Nightfury, drink for as long as Nightfury sighs while sailing through the air

--- Kvasir: we're defintely going to die. i'm in.

--- Erebus: ooh, i'm in, i'm in!

--- Nightfury: don't. you. dare.

--- Erebus: yeet yeet mothafuckaaaa