How To Survive as a Villain

The next day at noon, Xiao YuAn was in a daze; he felt his head aching due to a hangover.

He searched through his mind about last night’s events and remembered the awesome “Horse set” song. He then dreamed of a Mongolian man with the back of a tiger and the waist of a bear¹, he said to him in a charming voice: “Tyrannical President? Have you ever met such a simple, kindest and cute horse rider?”

Xiao YuAn turned around and ran away. While running, he fell into a man’s arms and when he looked up, he saw that it was Yan HeQing. Afterwards, the dream became more frightening than the Mongolian man.

In the dream Yan HeQing even kissed him!!! He kissed him so deeply and affectionately that he couldn’t move, this type of kiss made him suspect that it was out of romantic love!!!

After the kiss, Yan HeQing looked at him calmly and began to sing: “It’s a magical road to the sky eeehh?²”

What the hell is this!!!

The drunken hallucination is really terrible!

Xiao YuAn was rubbing his head when Hong Xiu pushed the door open. When she saw that Xiao YuAn had woken up, she quickly brought up the sobering soup and a hot towel.

After he drank the hot soup, Xiao YuAn slowly came back to normal, then he asked her: “How did I come back yesterday?”

Hong Xiu covered her mouth and smiled warmly: “Answering to His Majesty, Bodyguard Yan was the one that brought you back. His Majesty’s plan to win his heart than to act with violence is indeed a successful move.”

Xiao YuAn grinned: “Was he drunk? If he was drunk, you must give him a sobering soup.”

“Bodyguard Yan was sober last night, but His Majesty was drunk enough to pass out, and that really scared this maidservant to death.” Hong Xiu replied. “Your Majesty, would you like for this maidservant to open a window to ventilate the air?”

“Yes, open it.”

Hong Xiu walked towards the window casket, pushed it open, and let the warm spring breeze enter the room. Hong Xiu turned to Xiao YuAn and smiled: “Your Majesty, the pear blossom at the corner of the courtyard has bloomed.”

“Pear blossom?” Xiao YuAn wanted to look out of the window, but his eyes fell inexplicably on the red hairpin tied at Hong Xiu’s bun, the one Xiao YuAn had gifted her before.

Hong Xiu answered him with a smile: “Yes, it is snow white and beautiful. It seems that the temperature will get warmer.”

The spring is full of warmth, and the time to part ways is getting closer.

The envoys of the Western Shu Kingdom spent nearly half a month in the Northern Kingdom, and after the spring melted the snow away, they were ready to leave.

With a friendly and diplomatic attitude, Xiao YuAn sent Xiao PingYang and her envoys out of the Imperial City.

Xiao PingYang led the horse in a valiant and formidable way. She said to Xiao YuAn: “Monarch of the Northern Kingdom, we will meet again.”

Xiao YuAn replied to her with a smile: “Sure.”

Xiao PingYang suddenly chuckled: “Emperor of the Northern Kingdom, if the world is big, you and I will be family.”

What the fuck.

Xiao PingYang smiled!?

Who said that the Iron Masked Lady never laughs? What do you mean with this sudden smile?

And what do you mean by becoming family, haven’t you read the script? Don’t you know that Yan HeQing wants to unify the land under heaven?

Xiao YuAn was still in shock, but Xiao PingYang had already left. She didn’t know that the sound of the horse’s hoof leaving the Imperial City pierced right through someone’s heart.

In spring, the herbs regained their bugs, which provoked all kinds of diseases.

Princess Yongning occasionally will catch the cold and collapse on the bed resentfully, without being able to get up for several days.

Xiao YuAn heard the news and hurriedly went to Yongning Palace to see her. Princess Yongning was lying on the bed, her small face was red, she was coughing, her nose and eyes were red too. She looked extremely pitiful.

Xiao YuAn asked the Imperial physician about her condition, and when he heard that it wasn’t a serious illness, he felt relieved. Seeing that Princess Yongning was looking decadent and powerless, Xiao YuAn accompanied her for a long time and talked with her. Then, Princess Yongning suddenly said to him: “Imperial Brother, I like someone.”

Hiss³.

Xiao YuAn inhaled and exhaled, and sighed inside his heart: As expected, last time, at the street market, the male lead and the female lead fell in love at first sight! They’re worthy of being the official relationship! The heaven is fast! Accurate! And ruthless!

Princess Yongning carefully observed Xiao YuAn’s expression. After seeing that his expression changed from surprise to emotion, she felt really nervous for a while and secretly grabbed the corner of the bed, waiting for Xiao YuAn to give her an answer.

Xiao YuAn kind of immersed himself in thoughts, and after a long pause, he said: “…I understand, I completely understand.”

Princess Yongning asked nervously: “Imperial Brother, y-you, don’t you have any complaints?”

How would he dare to have any complaints!!

Xiao YuAn laughed and replied to her: “No, you must be happy. Don’t let it burden you, it doesn’t matter, really.”

Princess Yongning was so happy that she stretched her hands and hugged Xiao YuAn’s waist: “Thank you, Imperial Brother!!!”

Xiao YuAn patted her on the back, feeling in his heart like a father whose daughter had just grown up.

Then, in the next few days, Yan HeQing discovered that Xiao YuAn would always look at him with a strange look on his eyes, which once made him suspect that either his feelings or his secret silk scroll had been discovered.

Later, Yan HeQing realized that Xiao YuAn might have……

Just poor eyesight.

Footnotes:

Footnotes

1. 虎背熊腰 hǔ bèi xióng yāo; It’s a Chinese idiom that describes a person’s burly and robust body. From《飞刀对箭》(fēi dāo duì jiàn), “Throwing knives at arrows” from an anonymous author of the Yuan or Mongol Dynasty [1279-1368].
2. Lyrics from a 2005 song《天路》(tiān lù), “Road to the Sky”, sung by (韩红 hán hóng) Han Hong.
3. 嘶 sī; sound of air sucked between the teeth, indicating hesitation or thinking something over.