Gift of the Unicorn

10. Facing the Wolves

Hamon’s house was dim inside and a faint pleasant smoke was coming from the stove. Iseut watched from the doorway as Hamon walked up to the woman preparing a meal and kissed her briefly on the cheek. A tall young man about Iseut’s own age was setting wooden plates on a table. A small boy was running around with a little barking dog, getting in everyone’s way.

“Iseut, come in,” Hamon insisted.

All eyes were on Iseut as she took a few tentative steps inside.

“Hello,” she managed to stammer out.

“Hello dear,” Hamon’s wife said, “Dinner is almost ready. I hope you like chicken.”

“I love chicken,” Iseut mumbled, slowly walking into the room, “It’s nice to meet everybody.”

Hamon’s wife stepped away from the stove to take Iseut’s hands.

“My name is Amice. This is my older son, Wybert.” The young man waved. “And my younger son Jankin.” The smaller child hid nervously behind his mother. Iseut could relate to the impulse.

“Sit down,” Amice told Iseut, “You’re our guest. Rest up before dinner.”

Iseut bit her lip and nodded, then sat down at the table. Shouldn’t she at least be helping out? After a moment, the older son Wybert sat down across from Iseut. She opened her mouth to say something, but no sound came out.

“Hello,” he said, “So you’re working with my father?”

She nodded, managing to respond, “I’m trying to be helpful. It’s enjoyable work. What do you do?”

“I work at the stables with the horses. Jankin talks about how he’s going to grow up and make pretty dresses like our father.”

“He does make pretty dresses,” Iseut admitted, clutching at the folds of her own outfit.

“And you look very pretty in one,” Wybert said.

Iseut felt the heat rising in her cheeks and she had to look away. When she glanced back at Wybert, he was grinning. There were butterflies in Iseut’s stomach.

What was she doing? Iseut barely knew this guy. Why was she feeling this way? Was she just going to feel this way around every guy from now on? The thought made her shiver. She wanted to have guy friends too.

“Um… excuse me,” she said, standing up, “I just need some fresh air.”

“Of course,” Wybert replied, a little surprised.

Iseut wrapped her arms around her stomach and rushed outside into the fresh evening air. She stopped and took a few deep breaths, listening to the sounds of the kitchen inside. Then she leaned up against the stone wall of the large wooden house and closed her eyes.

Were she and Morris even still friends? She still felt the same way about him. Didn’t she? And she wanted to believe things would work out between them.

“Are you okay?”

Hamon had stepped outside to check on her.

“Yeah. Sorry. I’m fine.”

“Is there anything you want to talk about?”

Iseut nodded, replying, “Actually, yes. I had a talk with my squad leader. I’m not going to be a hunter anymore.”

“Oh?” Hamon asked, leaning up against the wall, “What will you do now?”

“I don’t know,” Iseut admitted, “Before coming to help you, I tried a few different things. The furrier. The fishery. The bakehouse. I wasn’t very good at any of them, since I didn’t know what I was doing. You put a lot of care into showing me what to do. When I’m done helping you, I can keep looking around for a new job, but I don’t know what I want to do except…”

Hamon smiled softly, then said, “You’d need a lot of training, but you could very well made a tailor one day. If you had someone to take you on as an apprentice, that is.”

He was teasing her! How unfair!

“I’m getting on in years,” Hamon admitted, “My fingers aren’t as nimble as they used to be. An extra set of hands would be invaluable. Do you want to be my apprentice until you can stand on your own?”

Iseut should have played coy and pretended that she needed time to think it over. But instead she sighed in relief. Her knees were weak. Iseut had been more nervous than she realized.

“I’d love to,” she said.

Hamon grinned and replied, “Then I’d better make a good teacher. Come on inside. Dinner is ready.”

Iseut grinned and followed him inside. Dinner was wonderful, even if Iseut couldn’t look at Wybert without a bubbly feeling in her gut. Amice kept asking Iseut questions about her life. Hamon hadn’t told her who Iseut really was, for which Iseut was grateful. It meant a lot that he would respect her privacy, even from his own family.

The next day, Iseut made sure to visit the shrine as soon as she had the opportunity. Another night in the bunkhouse had left her feeling drained and in need of spiritual rejuvenation. It was a relief to fall to her knees and let the tension wash off of her.

“Despite everything, thank you,” she began, slipping into a meditative trance, “Thank you for how much my life has changed. As hard as it is, I appreciate the opportunity.” Iseut took a deep breath. “Now I plead with you, spirits: give me strength. Lead me to people who can help me. I won’t be able to do this all on my own.”

There was no immediate answer, but Iseut felt better. The atmosphere in the shrine had changed too, ever so slightly. Was that something she would have even been able to notice before she started meditating? Iseut felt more aware than she used to.

At the very least, she was aware that someone had quietly entered the shrine behind her. Iseut turned around and smiled at the short-haired boy who had found her. He grinned in return.

“Hello Diot,” she said, “Do you want to sit down?”

He nodded, then sat down cross-legged next to where Iseut was kneeling.

“You got your hair cut,” she noticed.

“My father did it for me,” Diot replied, blushing, “when I told him that I wanted to be a boy. I like it. It’s not getting in my face anymore.”

Iseut chuckled and ran her hands through her own long hair. She barely remembered it being short. And she would absolutely hate it now. She and the kid were so similar and yet so different.

Diot was squirming. There was clearly something he wanted to say but wasn’t finding the words for. This time, though, Iseut didn’t actually have any idea what he wanted to say.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked.

“Um… I need a new name,” he replied very quietly.

“That makes sense. Did you ask your parents to come up with one?”

Diot blushed harder.

“I know what name I want…” he muttered.

“Okay, what is it?”

Diot looked away, then said, “I don’t want to say.”

Iseut was perplexed.

“Why not?” she asked.

“It’s embarrassing!”

“How could it be embarrassing? What’s the name?”

Diot mumbled something under his breath that Iseut couldn’t hear.

“…you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Iseut told him.

“I… um… it’s just…” Then, very quietly, he asked, “Can I have your old name?”

Iseut blinked.

“My old name?”

He nodded. Iseut felt her cheeks start to burn. That was… surprising, to say the least. She hadn’t even considered the possibility…

“Of course you can,” she said, “That’s absolutely okay.”

The kid—Randel—was beaming. He reached over and grabbed Iseut in a tight hug. She couldn’t fight a grin.

“Thank you!” he cried, “Thank you so much!”

“As long as you’re happy, Randel,” she replied, patting him softly on the back.

He sprang to his feet and turned toward the doorway of the shrine.

“I’m going to tell my parents!” he cried.

He ran out of there with his head held high. Iseut couldn’t help but chuckle a little as she watched him go. She sincerely hoped he’d have an easier time than she was.

Because of that meeting, Iseut was going to be late for her magical training. She really hoped Aldith was in a forgiving mood. The memory of her lecture about the importance of timeliness was at the front of Iseut’s mind. Surely. Aldith would understand that helping the kid was important, right?”

“I’m going to get an earful,” Iseut realized.

She rapped on the door and opened it slowly.

“Aldith? I’m here.”

“Good. Come in and shut the door, quickly.”

The scolding was coming. Iseut gulped and followed her orders. Aldith and Stace were sitting by the cold fireplace, haunched over a large book. Both looked perturbed.

“Is something wrong?” Iseut asked.

“Nothing is wrong,” Aldith insisted, “But you’ll want to sit down.”

Iseut took a place on the bed and furled her brow.

Aldith continued, “A week ago, I sent a letter asking for help from one of my old colleagues. He sent back a book that has info on how to magically lure a unicorn. It just arrived.”

Iseut’s mouth was dry.

“If you want, we can still hide this. It’s you’re choice what to do.”

“Yes!” Iseut sprang to her feet. “We have to hide this! Nobody can know. They’ll force me to go back. I can’t go back to who I was, Aldith.”

“I know, Iseut. I won’t tell anyone. But we do need to tell your father something. He’s been banging on my door demanding answers.”

“I know,” Iseut muttered, sitting back down and curling up on the bed, “Do I have to be there?”

“It would help,” Aldith admitted, “If you can show him that you’re at ease with your fate, he’ll be more likely to accept that there’s nothing to be done. If he has any reason to believe that you’re unhappy, he’ll move heaven and earth to find a cure.”

Iseut nodded. She saw the logic in Aldith’s words. But even after standing up to her father, she didn’t really want to face him again. He was still an aggressive, intimidating figure.

“If I must go, I will,” she decided.

“We’ll be there too,” Stace reminded her.

Aldith stood up and said, “We should do it now. We can return to your training when it’s done.”

Iseut trailed after Aldith and Stace as they walked through town. She took her ribbon out of her pocket and tied it loosely around her wrist. It was something she started doing to calm and center herself, and she definitely needed that right now.

The Grand Hall loomed over Iseut, making her feel even smaller than she normally did. She gulped and followed her companions through the front doors. Hann was sitting at the large table where several other people were sitting around him. As soon as he saw Aldith, Iseut, and Stace, though, he dismissed everyone immediately. Soon the four of them were alone, and Iseut found herself trying to hide behind Aldith.

“I hope you have answers,” Hann said, folding his arms on the table.

“I’ve checked all my reference materials,” Aldith said calmly, “I’ve even sent letters to my colleagues in other towns and cities. The unanimous conclusion is that a unicorn cannot be lured anywhere by mundane or magical means. They also don’t return to areas they’ve already been. There’s nothing that can be done.”

Hann swore loudly, banging his hand on the table and making Iseut flinch.

“There is something!” he cried out, standing up and beginning to pace, “You need to keep looking.”

Aldith kept her voice level and emotionless as she responded, “Hann, this is a hunt for nothing. You need to come to terms with the fact that there’s nothing more to be done. The opportunity to undo what happened to your child is long gone.”

Hann focused his gaze on Iseut, who gulped and started fiddling with her hands.

“So this is the way that things are going to be from now on?” he asked.

Iseut nodded, though she wasn’t sure if he was actually speaking to her. After a moment, Hann sat down and pressed his hands against his forehead. He sighed and leaned back in his chair.

“Are you really okay with this?” he asked.

“I am, father,” Iseut replied weakly. Stace took her hand and gave it a little squeeze. Iseut continued, more firmly, “I’m happier now than I have been for a very long time. I know you don’t believe it, but I was always supposed to be a woman and didn’t realize it. If anyone else had been transformed in my place, they would be miserable. I… wouldn’t go back even if I could.”

Stace squeezed her hand more firmly. Hann wasn’t paying attention to them. He had bowed his head and was muttering to himself. Finally, he raised his head and sighed.

“Then I suppose there’s nothing to be done,” he said, “Very well. The town will just have to accept you as a woman from here on out. There is no other option.”

Iseut could breathe easy again. She let go of Stace’s hand and ran her fingers through her hair. It wasn’t the total acceptance that Iseut hadn’t even dared to dream of, but it was a start. A huge weight had been lifted from her back and she could breathe easily again.

“My child,” Hann said quietly, finally addressing Iseut. He got out of his seat and walked up to her, but refused to look at her directly. “Two days ago, a couple came by to tell me that their child had told them he wanted to be a boy instead of a girl. They were seeking my blessing. It would be hypocritical of me to grant them my assurance of help and not offer the same thing for my own blood.”

Iseut nodded.

“Thank you, father,” she said quietly.

“I hope you have a plan for what to do next,” he replied.

“I do.” But it was a struggle not to bite her lip.

Stepping out of the Grand Hall was a relief for Iseut. She sighed happily. But then Aldith stopped and turned to face Iseut.

“Is it too much to assume that you had something to do with this child in question?”

“He came to me,” Iseut defended herself, “I just helped him figure out what they wanted.”

Aldith grinned.

“Looks like you’re already helping the town, then,” she said.

Iseut’s heart fluttered and she smiled softly.

Aldith continued, “I hope you’re ready to get back to writing.”

Iseut groaned, but nodded.

By the time they were done for the evening, Iseut’s hand hurt. How many more days of this were left? If this went on for much longer, her hands would be too messed up to effectively help Hamon.

Iseut was so occupied with her pain as she walked home that she almost didn’t notice him. When she did, her heart nearly stopped. A burly young man was standing just a short ways ahead, and was looking right at Iseut.

She turned and started walking down a different road. Iseut couldn’t face Morris. There was no way she could make him understand.

“Randel!”

Iseut broke out into a run.

“Randel! Stop!”

Her knees buckled and Iseut went tumbling. She managed to land on her hands and knees, but was shaking. Iseut kept her eyes closed but could tell when Morris’s shadow fell over her.

“Go away,” she begged.

“Stand up,” he ordered.

Iseut was still trembling, but managed to get to her feet and turn towards him. Iseut kept her eyes down so she couldn’t see his expression. Her breathing was shallow.

“What is going on?” Morris asked.

She chanced a glance upward. Morris didn’t look angry; he looked confused. Iseut tried to swallow the lump in her throat and failed.

“People are saying that you’re going to stay like this?” Morris continued, “Why do they think that? Who’s been telling them that?”

“Morris, I… I wanted to tell you…”

Morris flinched, as if struck.

“You can’t be serious,” he said darkly, “What’s wrong with you, Randel?!”

“Nothing is wrong with me!” Iseut cried, curling her hands into fists, “I want to stay like this. I’m supposed to be a woman after all.”

“No, you’re not,” Morris replied, “You’re my best friend, Randel. I know you better than anybody. If you were a girl I would have figured it out by now.”

Iseut took a step back and turned to the side, explaining, “I didn’t even know, Morris.”

“Then how do you know now?” he demanded, “How can you be sure you didn’t talk yourself into believing something that’s not true. Or—” his eyes narrowed “—maybe it’s that witch whispering things into your ear. People have said you’ve been spending an awful lot of time with her.”

Iseut sighed and threw up her hands.

“She’s teaching me to use magic, Morris.”

“What?! Why?” Morris looked pained. “What good could that possibly do? And you already have a job!”

Iseut took in a sharp breath.

“She didn’t tell you yet?” she asked.

“Who? Tell me what?”

“Oh no…” Iseut started pulling at her hair and groaned. “I thought Rohesia had told you. I’m quitting my job as a hunter. I’m going to be a tailor from now on.”

Morris was stunned. Iseut couldn’t look at him for more than a second before turning away.

“What?”

Iseut nodded.

“How… you can’t… Randel…”

“My name is Iseut, now,” she replied firmly, “Respect that or don’t use my name.”

“I can’t believe this,” Morris muttered, “I’m losing my best friend and nobody cares.”

“I’m sorry, Morris, but you’re not losing me. I’m just changing.”

“Into an entirely different person!” Morris cried, “I… I need to go.”

“Morris!”

“Don’t talk to me!”

He started to walk away, and Iseut started to follow him.

“Stay away from me!”

“I still want to be friends!”

Morris turned around and bellowed, “I don’t know you!”

“Yes you do!” Iseut cried, grabbing onto his arm. It was so much bigger compared to her now than it used to be. Morris flinched as if her mere touch burned. She continued, “I’m the girl who saved your ass when you got into a fight with a bear that one time. I’m the girl who stayed up all night with you when we got lost in the woods. I’m the girl who helped nurse you back to health when you were sick for an entire month. And I’m the girl who trained with you when you were recovering.”

“Randel did those things with me,” Morris replied, pulling his hand away, “Not you.”

“I still want to be friends,” Iseut repeated.

“I don’t want to see you again.”

Morris continued walking away. Iseut blinked through the tears forming in her eyes and started to sniffle. Her heart was breaking.

“I love you!” she cried, getting Morris to stop in his tracks, “I never wanted to hurt you!”

Then Morris said, “No. No, that can’t be true. Stop talking.”

“It’s true,” Iseut said, “I’ve been in love with you for a long time. Think about it.”

She took a step forward and reached out with her hands. Morris flinched and stepped back. Iseut paused, her expression falling.

“We were best friends for so long,” she continued, “I knew I couldn’t say anything, but you must have known.”

“Shut up, Randel!”

Iseut was on the verge of tears now, but continued, “You were just always so kind to me. You’ve got a perfect smile and laugh, and you care about others—”

“Randel, stop!” Morris cried, turning away, “Go away. I… I can’t deal with this.”

He left, and Iseut was left alone. She couldn’t see through her tears. Then her knees gave out and Iseut collapsed to the ground.