Gardenia of Blooming Desire

Chapter 241: Deep Love of An Awkward Duke

Nate, the shadow guard that had the news about Milord successfully bypassed the tight security check around the Dionde City Harbor, he disguised himself as a normal trader and could easily fool Emperor Charles' soldiers.

Nate quickly disappeared from the city once everything had been settled and then rushed to his mentor, Sir Irion's hideout. Funnily, while Emperor Charles had turned the country upside down to find Sir Irion and his group of rebels, he was actually hiding in the abandoned mansion of Swordheart Family. The Swordheart House had been officially erased from the Golden Camellia Emperor record.

After the day of the massacre in Dionde City, Emperor Charles rallied to Swordheart Mansion to take the family as hostage, so Irion would surrender or else, his family would all be killed.

But to Emperor surprise, there was no one inside the Swordheart Mansion. No maid, no guards, the mansion was practically abandoned overnight. Turned out, Milord Aster had relocated all of them and provided them with enough money to live well in another smaller island near Golden Camellia even before the massacre happened.

'It felt like Milord Aster already had the hunch that Emperor Charles would do the unthinkable soon, so he relocated Sir Irion's family and transferred all his power. So, Emperor Charles wouldn't be able to tamper with anything,' Nate thought.

He finally stopped at the back door of the abandoned Swordheart Mansion. The door was opened and he entered the mansion. Inside, it was nowhere as abandoned as it was portrayed outside. There were many shadow guards training in the indoor training ground, Sir Irion also provided them with good food and normal salary. Thanks to Milord Aster's extravagant wealth, Sir Irion could still maintain the presence of his power even though his situation in Great Arctyr was tragic.

Nate knocked the door at the end of the corridor and the door was opened by Sir Irion himself. Nate gave his salute to Sir Irion and then reported, "Sir, I have the news and command from Milord Aster."

The grim face of Sir Irion finally disappeared and he was expectant, he pulled Nate inside and then held him with many questions, "How is Milord? Is he in a good health? Does the Great Arctyr treated him well? Does he want to return back to Golden Camellia and meet us?"

Nate took a deep breath and replied everything in one go, "Sir, Milord has been treated well by Great King Tuskan. In fact, he has been treated too well, since there are so many Arctyr's shadow guards around Milord's room. It's quite hard for me to slip inside his room. But he is not in a good condition and he doesn't want to return anytime soon"

"Not in a good condition? Did something happen?!"

"I'm not sure what happened to him, but" Nate gulped, he really didn't want to tell this tragic condition of their master, but Sir Irion had been worrying about Milord's condition every day, "Milord Aster is completely blind."

"WHAT?!" Irion was shocked to the bone that he couldn't react at all. He was stupefied, unable to accept the truth. Then, his face tightened, his hands trembled, and he smashed the table until the wooden table broke into two.

"Does Milord still remember about Ramuja?" Irion asked, but his tone was agitated, he was so close to killing someone in this mansion.

"Yes, he still remembers about Ramuja. In fact, he asked me to write this and deliver this to Ramuja," Nate fished out the note from Milord. Irion snatched it and read the content, now, his anger had burst.

He pushed Nate to the side and then went to the second room from his door, he kicked the door open until the hinge broke. He saw Ramuja was still in this stupid, dishonorable condition, where he would be dazed for hours, sometimes he sniffed and kissed Aster's handkerchief and golden pin, and then cried slowly.

'Milord went blind because of this loser! And instead of rising back like a man, he locked himself here like a loser! Goddamnit!'

Irion kicked Ramuja from behind, he spared no mercy as he kicked Ramuja with his full power. Ramuja fell to the ground and his back was bruised. But he only glanced at Irion for a moment, and continued his useless daze.

Irion gritted his teeth, he pulled Ramuja and then slapped him on the face, "Wake up, idiot! Milord has sacrificed something so important so he wouldn't lose his memory about you, but you are here acting like a bitch!"

Hearing the word 'Milord' and 'Sacrifice', Ramuja immediately responded and he brushed Irion's hand aside, his dazed eyes turned sharp instantly and he asked, "What happened to Milord?"

"He is blind! He is fucking blind because his golden blood! Because he doesn't want to lose your memory, so he would rather lose his eyesight! Don't you see how much damage you did to him?! And you are still crying like a little bitch, man up, idiot!"

Ramuja froze on the spot, his expression was twisted, but there was something in his expression that baffled even the angry Irion in front of him, "How could he do that? How could he sacrifice his eye for me? His eye is the sun, how could he sacrifice his most precious thing for someone like me?"

"BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU! GODDAMN, MILORD ASTER LOVES YOU SO MUCH, STOP WITH YOUR STUPID INSECURITY, HE LOVES YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING!" Irion screamed in front of Ramuja's face. He was really pissed with Ramuja's unnecessary insecurity. His insecurity was probably the same thing that had caused Milord's blindness in the first place.

"You might be a slave to anyone, but you are a servant and a lover to Milord! I saved you and helped you train because Milord wants me to help you, he wants you to have a good position, that is why he wants you to be strong!" Irion's chest palpitated up and down, he was agitated, because Ramuja still hadn't realized how deep Milord's love for him.

"He gave his first time with you, although you haven't taken his virginity, but he let you do anything to him. He is different from us, he never let anyone be close to him, and he is extremely sensitive. If he got touched by someone randomly, he would have that wretched feeling!"

"He kept telling me to train you well, he always asked me about your condition every day after your training. Didn't you see how his health has been slowly deteriorating because of the pressure from the Emperor? And you only added the fire with your stupid infidelity!"

"Yet, even after your girlfriend Merry sang about your cheating days, also stripped from his power forcefully, and fled the country after seeing a horrible massacre in his own duchy, he still sacrificed his eyesight instead of the memory with you! My god, wake up, Ramuja! You are far more privileged than anyone in Milord's life. You are his golden circle!"

Irion knew that Ramuja couldn't read, thus, he opened the note from Milord and read it aloud in front of Ramuja;

  My handsome knight,

I cannot see you, but you are always the man I dreamed every night.

Be strong, because you are going for a fight.

My handsome Ramuja, you are my hope. I Believe that you will fight for our right.

Irion gave the note to Ramuja and tried to calm himself down, "That is Milord's personal letter for you. I know that you had a harsh life before and probably after meeting Milord. But if you could push your ego aside, you would've realized that Milord sacrificed a lot for you, and he demands nothing from you."

"You should know that you are luckier than me, Jain, King Gaum, Great King Tuskan, even Emperor Charles. There are people who would want to see Milord smiling for them, but you got that every day."

Irion left the room to calm himself, "If you really love him, you already know that he never betrays you, and he always has you in his mind. Don't make the same mistake twice."

After Irion left, Ramuja held the note from Milord carefully, he couldn't read, but he knew that the signature was that of Milord's. He caressed the signature and the content of the note that Irion had just read made his whole body tremble.

There were no tears left to cry, but he felt that his heart was finally beating again, 'Milord, really, everything is about me, right?'

'I always want you to know my feelings, to understand me, to give me security about this twisted relationship between us. I want everything about you, but I never really see your position'

'I never asked about your position because I thought you already have everything in your hand, I thought that you are going to be invincible forever.'

'That is why I never realize how many thankless sacrifices you made for me, but I never notice it no, it is just me who is ignorant. I used my life as a slave to make everything about me I didn't even consider your feeling.'

'Yet, you never tell me about all your sacrifices, you bear the burden all by himself.'

'I truly am an egoist.'

Ramuja had an assuring feeling in his heart, he always thought that Milord really didn't love him as much as he did to him. Ramuja also thought that Milord didn't sacrifice as much as him, but he finally realized that he was being an egoist.

Because not everything was about him, and Milord daringly falling in love to an ex-sex slave was already a sacrifice by itself.

Ramuja could feel that his heart was pinched from the inside, he could feel the complicated feeling of guilt and assurance. Ramuja was sitting in the same position for a few more hours before he stood from the chair and then his long-lost deep gaze of Prince Rama finally returned back.

"My Sun, I will prove to you that I am worthy as your partner."