Gardenia of Blooming Desire

Chapter 201: Still A Kid

'Why don't you just give up and love me instead? Then we don't need to play the same boring game like this.'

That sentence lingered in Aster head. He was now inside the room in this castle that had been decorated by Charles to look almost exactly like his room in Lantern Palace, "Is this castle yours too?" Aster asked calmly.

Charles smirked, he sipped his wine and nodded lazily, "This is also mine. Naturally, I want this castle to be our love nest after we got married."

"You are sick," Aster said unhesitatingly. He had the feeling that Charles was getting more and more deranged as he matured. He was not this unreasonable a few years ago, or

Charles laughed, he sat beside Aster on the bed and then embraced Aster, "You realized that too just now? My darling, you are really a nave boy. Like a cute kitten thrown into the world full of malice. Yes, your mother has been protecting you until her last breath. I have to admit that she is an extremely cunning fox, I've been defeated by her countless times, but there is one thing she couldn't do."

Charles whispered slowly, 'She failed to kill me.'

Aster shuddered, he tried to struggle to no avail, he could feel how powerless he was right now. There was no Irion or Ramuja to protect him, he didn't allow any of his shadow guards to follow him because he thought it would be better for them to train more.

Now he reaped what he sowed. He was careless, nave, and stupid. He thought he already had the upper hand by making Rosalie dance in his palm, but he was dancing in Charles' palm all along.

"WWhat are you trying to do?!" he reacted when Charles was unbuttoning his shirt. Charles laughed, he replied gently, "That slave is able to enjoy your body, why can't I? I've been trying my best to control my urge, but you actually give your precious body to a slave. I am very disappointed."

"Don't worry, I will never hurt you physically."

'But I will tear your beautiful wings, my angel. I will be the demon that would ruin all of you, so you can only see me, even if it contains some fear. It doesn't matter anyway.'

Charles' eyes had turned golden with a hint of black spots around it. He was not angry when he knew that Aster manipulated Rosalie's love. Rosalie wasn't important anyway, at most, she would hinder him slightly with her insignificant power. But his chest almost burst when he got the report that Aster and that slave did it again in the garden.

'My darling Aster has been confused for too long, I already catch you red-handed for adultery.'

However, what confused Charles the most was the fact that Aster thought Rosalie would be relevant in this game, "My darling, why are you targeting Rosalie anyway? If you want to fight me in this game, then you should play with the big fishes, not a small cricket like Rosalie. She is almost irrelevant."

Aster bit his lip, of course he knew that. But his target was not Charles when it came to Rosalie. He had another plan for her and would naturally use her status to deter the others. But Charles discovered it instantly.

As if Aster was just a small kid playing with toy blocks while Charles was the adult that watched over him, whenever he tried to do something or he hurt himself, Charles would help or scold him in his own way.

Aster mustered his courage and asked, "If I am powerless in this game, then why don't you just destroy me and then make me your Empress?"

Charles ignored Aster and focused on the smooth skin of Aster. He almost drooled when he saw the skin that he had always dreamed off. Even after tasting it a few times, he still found it fascinating. He kissed Aster's shoulder and then his collarbone. He made obvious marks that might take a few days to fade.

"Charles!" Aster yelled.

Charles finally stopped and then muttered lowly, "Hm? Well, I just think you are a cute kitten that I love. I want to see you play with the yearn ball happily, but I will reprimand you when you are being naughty."

"I You don't see me as a threat at all?" Aster asked, unable to comprehend what he just heard. He already did so many things and Charles only replied casually like that? As if all his efforts were just a big joke for Charles.

Charles smiled and then kissed Aster's lips gently, "Not only that, I love seeing you grow. If you can actually create some threat for me, then you will be even more qualified to be an Empress. You will be even more perfect than I could ever imagine."

Aster felt numb. He felt like he was ridiculed to the point that he was just a trash in front of Charles. He started trembling, as his pride slowly crumbled.

Charles noticed that something was wrong with Aster, "Aster, what's wro"

Charles was stunned when he saw Aster crying. Aster didn't do any fake cry as he always noticed when he did. This one, Aster was actually crying like a kid. It reminded him of a kid Aster who cried whenever he saw something scary or when Charles accidentally showed his true side in front of Aster.

"AAster, calm down, okay, I will not touch you anymore" Charles panicked slightly. He said that he was ready to destroy Aster. But when he saw Aster like this, it made his heart soft and he couldn't think straight.

He forgot that Aster was still a nave kid trying to find his goal in this world. It was fine if he made some mistake or accidentally became too prideful, because he was still a kid anyway.

Aster cried even harder, his pride was shattered in front of Charles. All his shame disappeared as he couldn't control his hopelessness. He felt like a kid who just lost everything.

"Aster please stop crying, tell me what you want, I will give it to you," Charles tried to coax him like what he did when they were young. Charles surprised himself, he did it out of instinct.

He felt even more guilty when he realized that he just did something terrible to Aster. He already knew everything that Aster did since the death of his mother, but he kept this a secret, because he didn't want Aster to be discouraged.

It was just that slave, that slave boiled his anger. Yet, Charles couldn't touch him, because that slave was hiding behind Aster like a coward he was. He never intended to hurt Aster, it was just sometimes he couldn't control his anger.

Aster sobbed as he saw Charles. Charles was now kneeling in front of him. His eyes were soft and he gently covered Aster's palm with his. He caressed Aster soft fingers gently and repeated, "Am I too harsh on you? I'm sorry Aster, I never meant to scare you too much. But anyway, do you want some compensation from me."

Aster was also stunned when he saw this Charles. This Charles reminded him so much of the young Charles who always protected him and was gentle to him. Charles always tried to coax him whenever he was upset.

It gave Aster the illusion that Charles was never intended to hurt him. He would never harm him, just like the same promise he did long ago;

  'Aster, even if we have a fight, no matter how serious it becomes. I will never hurt you.'

'Ehh but I don't want to fight Charles! Charles is so kind to Aster!'

'There will be time when we might fight, but I will never hurt you, trust me.'

It was such a sweet promise and they had a great childhood, then it all changed when Aster finally realized that Charles and him might have to fight to suppress each other.

"Charles, why are you"

"Kneeling in front of you? Of course, because I've never intended to hurt you, Aster. I I never want you to cry or to be harmed, but sometimes I just can't control myself. As if, whenever something bad happened, my mind just went hazy and there was only wrath and jealousy in my mind."

"Charles you've gone insane"

"I am," Charles smiled bitterly, "That's why I can't control myself sometimes, I am sorry."

Charles kissed Aster's hand and then used Aster's palm as to caress his cheek, "Sometimes, I feel like you are getting farther and farther away. You might think my love for you is just a whim or a crazy idea. But I've never betrayed my heart. I will lose you if I lose in this game, that's why I don't want to lose, Aster."

Charles stared at Aster intently, there was a hint of pleading in his eyes, "Can you please give me a chance? I beg you."

Aster's heart wavered, he only felt pity mixed with fear to his cousin. He loved Charles, but not as a romantic lover. He always saw Charles as his cousin and big brother at the same time.

He saw the pleading eyes of Charles. And his heart grew even more unsettled, at some point, he wanted to just say yes, because Charles looked pitiful, unlike his usual gallant and brave figure, he looked fragile here.

"Charles, you are an amazing man. You are a genius and powerful military man too. You will be a great emperor, probably the best that we can have. When you become the Emperor, you will eventually settle with an amazing Empress but that Empress is not me. You are my beloved big brother."

Charles' gaze sank as he tried to swallow the hard pill. He lowered his head and patted his thigh. Charles returned back to his cold gaze again. He sneered, "Well, since my trick is not working anymore. Then I guess the best way is just to destroy you and chain you by my side."

Aster's eyes widened, "YYou mean"

Charles smirked and laughed lowly, "What? You mean that I will beg you because I feel hopeless? It's just a trick, maybe you will be easy to win over. But you are indeed worthy of your title, you can't be fooled with a cheap trick like that."

Aster was speechless at this point. He almost got fooled by Charles. He really thought that Charles actually felt hopeless in front of Aster, that he actually pleaded so Aster would accept him.

"Well, I will let you go for now. The game is not fun when you are too easy to beat, try harder, my sweet Aster," Charles lowered his head and pecked Aster's lips. Aster didn't respond, nor he said anything. He was just surprised that Charles could be this convincing.

Charles whistled as he left the room.

Charles closed the door and then went to the bathroom. He looked at his expression in the mirror. He still had that trace of pleading in his face. He punched the mirror until the mirror was shattered.

Charles saw his bleeding hands. He felt no pain, really. He opened the faucet and washed his face, but no matter how much he tried to wash over the tears, he felt that his eyes couldn't stop shedding some useless tears.

'Why? Why can't you accept me in your heart?'