Gardenia of Blooming Desire

Chapter 188: Fragile and Honest

"You are hurting me, Aster, I can't bear it."

Aster said nothing. This Charles in front of him was a contrast to what he was used to. He always saw Charles as this threatening existence ready to swallow him whole. Aster always felt that all he did against Charles was in vain, because this guy was obviously too powerful and ruthless.

But this Charles? He cried and trembled like a normal human. He hugged Aster without excessive force now, and he begged. He was so fragile.

And it made Aster uncomfortable.

Aster wanted to curse on him, he wanted to insult Charles and openly challenged him, because Charles already knew everything anyway.

He thought Charles would be furious and acted like a monster he was. Not like this fragile human being. Charles let go of Aster, he drained the bathtub and took a towel. He gently dried Aster's head and said, "Back then, when you were a kid, you refused to take a bath whenever I was here. You only took a bath when I agreed to bath you instead."

Charles laughed as he gently wiped Aster's body. Somehow, Aster forgot everything about his childhood with Charles right after he forgot about Fleur, his dog. Probably because of the trauma that his late mother inflicted.

But he was not a kid anymore, he was a grown eighteen years old. Aster held Charles' arm and shook his head, "I'm not a three years old anymore, let go, Charles."

Charles' arm trembled, he knew that Aster wasn't a kid anymore. But he couldn't accept that Aster didn't love him anymore. That he already moved on from his childhood memories and promises.

Charles inhaled and exhaled deep to calm himself. He saw Aster's expression, there was no disgust or hatred anymore in him, it's just pity?

Aster pitied him?

"Instead of pitying me, you can spare your energy to return my feelings."

"Charles, you can't force someone to love you. I was a kid back then, and I didn't remember everything, please don't take a kid seriously."

Charles laughed at Aster's answer. Because back then, he also didn't take Aster seriously. He was just a kid back then, but Aster insisted that he was serious and he would be Charles' empress in the future. His cold heart melted from the innocence of a kid.

But as Aster said, he was just a kid.

'I am the one who foolishly hangs on the promise of a kid'

Charles ignored him and took Aster back to his bed. Aster didn't fight at all, he had the feeling that the current Charles wouldn't dare to do unspeakable things.

"I will take your purity right here, right now," Charles said coldly. He caressed Aster's neck and kissed it gently. Aster shivered. He held Charles' cheeks with his hands and their eyes were staring at each other directly.

"Charles, if you do this, I will hate you forever."

Charles' eyes were still dropping tears. He held Aster's hand gently and said, "You know that I can destroy this boring country if I want to, I can give you anything as long as you wish for it, I will kill anyone if it's your order. But I will not let you be taken away by a mere filthy slave."

"He is not a filthy slave, not anymore," Aster refuted.

"He's still filthy. At least I'm trying to get you in an honest way, I never lied to you, nor I ever cheated on you. But you didn't even take me seriously."

Charles kissed Aster's chin and then his chest. Aster couldn't bear this anymore and he slapped Charles hard. Charles paused and glanced at Aster.

"Don't. We are not meant to be together." Aster threatened him. His eyes were red, Aster was about to cry.

Charles sighed and took a step back. He covered Aster's body with a blanket and he walked off from the bed.

Charles laced his hair ribbon in the mirror.

"Aster, I can't bear hurting you. Now that I know our feelings aren't mutual. I will try to chase you openly. Just so you know," Charles paused. He turned his head to Aster who covered his body with a blanket, "I am not going to give up. Even if I have to turn this country upside down, even if I have to destroy the whole world including your duchy. I will not give up."

Aster shivered. Charles didn't look angry at all, he continued to fix his cuff and said that statement easily. However, Aster knew that Charles was dead serious. He would be turning this country upside down as long as he obtained what he wanted.

Charles finished tidying his cloth and he smiled at Aster. He approached Aster again, in which Aster responded by hiding himself inside a blanket like a kid.

Charles chuckled, "You want me to treat you as an adult, but you are still the same Aster I know."

Charles pulled the blanket down and kissed Aster's forehead gently, "Remember darling, I will chase you honestly. Unlike that slave who lied to you many times, shady and dirty is not my style of playing this game in Golden Camellia."

Charles left the room, leaving Aster alone trying to process the whole situation that just happened. It took him a while until he realized something was missing, "Ramuja!"

Aster took any apparel that he had and he ran to Ramuja's room. He pushed the door, but it was actually locked from the inside, "Open the door! Ramuja, are you okay?!"

Aster tried to push the door and he twisted the doorknob like a madman. After a while, the door was unlocked from the inside, and Ramuja was seen wearing short pants and nothing else. He was surprised with his master's pale countenance, "MMilord, is everything alright?! What happened?"

Ramuja was circling around Aster to see if there was a wound or something, but Aster was completely fine. Aster was petrified in this position, because he thought Charles would surely ended Ramuja right now. But he only left Lantern Palace without touching anything.

"Milord, please answer me! Are you okay?!"

"II'm okay I had a bad dream just now."

"A bad dream? Do you want this servant to accompany you to sleep?" Ramuja said mischievously. But Aster didn't seem to respond in a coquettish way, he shook his head and said, "Sleep well, Ramuja."

Aster left Ramuja who was wondering what just happened to his master. Aster went back to his room and he sat for hours, waiting for someone to return back. After about four hours, the wind blew and a man kneeled in front of him. He was bloodied, but he still looked vigorous.

"Milord, I'm sorry for leaving you for so long," Irion said.

"What happened to you?"

"I fought many of the Crown Prince's shadow guards, but I got overwhelmed. However, when they were about to finish me off, a shadow guard arrived and whispered something to the leader, and they just left me like this."

"Where are our shadow guards?"

"I ordered them to hide, because they are under trained. They are going to die in vain if they fight the Crown Prince's shadow guards."

"Milord, I'm sorry, I brought you shame" Irion obediently kissed Aster's feet.

Aster didn't react excessively, he only ordered Irion, "Go wash yourself and return here, I will personally tend your wounds."

"HHow could I" Irion was surprised that his master would tend his wounds personally. He was going to refuse, but Aster looked dead serious. "This servant understands."

Irion washed himself and returned to Aster's room with many cut and stab wounds around his body. Fortunately, there was no grievous wound.

Aster tended Irion wounds carefully, he asked, "Is this your way to make sure that I didn't say yes to Charles?"

"It is initiated by Ramuja, Milord. I just followed his idea. Your safety and dignity is my highest priority, Milord."

Aster's hand stopped. Irion said that Aster's dignity is his highest priority, but he didn't know that he almost lost that dignity to the same person twice. Aster sighed and then continued tending Irion wounds.

"Irion, I will ask one question, but you have to answer it truthfully."

"I will answer with all my capability, Milord."

"About Ramuja, do you know if he ever lied to me?"

***

Charles was inside his carriage, the carriage was moving at medium speed, because he had another meeting tomorrow in another vassal kingdom. The leader of his shadow guards appeared in front of him and reported, "Your Highness, all missions have been completed. But may this subordinate know why are you letting all the Grand Duke's servants alive? We could kill them"

"I don't want Aster to hate me even more. He needs to know that I don't play this game like his slave who lied and cheated on him. I play with honor."

Charles smirked. All his fragility in front of Aster disappeared after he left Aster's room. However, he wasn't lying there. He was truly grieving in front of Aster. 

Charles only showed that side of him in front of that person, it didn't matter if Aster accepted his fragile side or not, he just wanted to show it to his dearest person. 

He caressed the silver pin that he took when he was inside Aster's room. Indeed, he might've lost against that slave for now, because he had been lenient. But Aster needed to know that he was undeniable.

'Even if you said that we are not meant to be together, I will not accept it. Especially because that slave is influencing your decision.'

'I will show you the truth, Aster. I will clip your wings so you have no way but to come to me. I will come victorious with you on my side, it is fated.'