Chapter 30 Dreaded Topic
"Go back to work and act as though nothing had happened. If those guys mess with you, just call me. But you should start defending yourself and never allow your pride to be stepped on. I will give you a call when I have established the gang and we will begin working together," I instructed Connor as I put my hand out.
Shaking his hand that had completely engulfed mine, he had a slight smile on his face as he nodded his head before walking in the direction of the construction site.
"One down. Two more to go. But first, on the agenda, I need to check on my mother."
Heading home, despite it being very early in the morning, as soon as I knocked on the door, my mother rushed to the door quickly and opened it up after seeing who it was through the peephole.
Seeing that under her eyes were dark, she definitely hadn't been sleeping well, and it even seemed as though she had been crying a lot.
"Are you okay?" I ask as she hugged me and welcomed me in.
"Y-Yes, of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"
Wiping her eyes, she tried to put on a smile, but it wasn't very convincing.
"Did anything happen? Don't try to hide anything from me," I questioned.
She seemed to be debating with herself whether to speak or not, and with nobody else to speak to, she ended up telling me what was on her mind.
"It's just that... I met up with some of my old high school friends, and I thought they had reached out to me out of the kindness of their hearts, but they humiliated me," she said, while sniffling and trying her best not to break out into tears.
My mother had been with that bastard Jack since high school and I could imagine she felt quite cool being with the gangster in the school that many were likely to be afraid of.
However, that backfired greatly, and it was understandable for the girls that once envied her, to show off and make her feel bad about her life.
"There's no need to explain anymore. Just forget about those assholes, and I will make you proud so that you can one day make them regret embarrassing you," I reassured her.
-
She had always been very fragile, both physically and mentally, and with the tough life that she had lived, it was inevitable.
'Pressure makes diamonds' as some people say, and I believe that to be true, but very rarely.
Most of the time, it crushes people, and unfortunately, my mother is one of those that couldn't handle it.
Giving birth to me at a young age soon after she graduated from school, with her parents disowning her and nobody else to turn to or rely on, she had no choice but to stay with Jack.
He lived the dangerous and unstable life of a crook in a small gang, and at first, it wasn't too bad, but everything spiraled into chaos.
She didn't tell me most of the details, but I could only imagine how hard it must have been on her and most would have given up on the kid and started a new life.
However, she didn't give up on me, her son, and probably couldn't even if she wanted to.
Since then, she has always found it hard to cope and remain positive, which is why I have to remain strong and support her until she finally has no more worries in her life.
All the times she had to struggle alone are behind her and no one will ever lay their hands on her again.
Even now, if one even raises their hand near her, she would flinch and she suffers greatly from PTSD, which was why, upon being slapped by the Black Hand Gang, she was so rattled and unable to even think straight.
There is no way for her to completely forget her trauma, and I know that, but I can help her overcome it and suppress it with a better life.
But it's easier said than done and it felt as though I was starting to bite more than I could chew.
-
"And that's not all... My license for the stall has expired and I don't think I will be able to renew it," she added with tears welling up in her eyes.
That stall was something she had worked at for many years and without it, she felt lost and would struggle to work most other jobs.
However, she didn't have to worry about anything as long as I was around.
"That's good news, mother. Just forget about money and calm down. I will handle everything," I reassured her with a smile.
The more I said it, the more she believed it, but in all honesty, I didn't know how much I believed it myself.
I had 20 dollars that Angela gave me along with around 100 dollars in my account, but other than that, all the rest of our household's money was with my mother.
And it wasn't much, which she would end up using for food and bills, so we were dead broke.
With rent coming up, we would either have to pay it or be evicted after missing rent multiple times previously due to financial struggles and being warned multiple times.
I could rely on Angela or maybe Connor, but they had their own lives and responsibilities, while I also had my own pride and dignity.
I wanted to be the one that people could rely on, and my mother's struggles added to my own as I helped her to calm down.
Once she did, I lay down on my make-shift bed that was essentially just a few layers of blankets on the ground.
Quickly I fell asleep, and when I woke up, it was already nearing the evening.
I needed the sleep to recover, and waking up, I felt pretty good.
Getting up, the delicious smell of home-cooked food swarmed my nostrils as I turned to see my mother sitting across the small living room that I would also sleep in.
"You're finally up... I just wanted to say sorry about this mornin-"
"We've already been through this. Just rely on me, mother, okay?" I cut her off as I gave her a reassuring smile and ate the meal that she prepared.
It was full of protein just how I liked it, but after we finished eating, she brought up a dreaded topic and was acting very seriously about it.