Chapter 24: Florida Man Eats Expired Medicine and Gains Superpower: Flame Farts
Lesser Fire Element Pill
This pill is popular among those who aspire to become alchemists. It increases one's fire affinity, allowing the person to harness and learn fire spells faster.
Consuming multiple pills may unlock hidden potentials. Due to the pill's poor quality, it has a dire side effect. No one should consume it without consulting an expert in alchemy.
Effects:
- Increase lifespan by one year.
- Increase fire affinity by one year of cultivation.
- Grant a 0-1% chance to unlock fire-related innate talent within one hour after consumption.
- Contain high impurity! Decrease max energy by 500 after consumption. This effect can be removed if the impurity is expelled within 24 hours.
…
The item's effects were questionable.
"What does it mean by 'Increase fire affinity by one year of cultivation'? And grant a 0 to 1% chance to unlock something something?"
The only noticeable perk was the lifespan increase, and it was negligible.
"What's the point of this?" asked Felix.
<For awakening your innate talent.>
"Innate talent?"
<If you check your status, you will see that your elemental affinity is shown there, and fire is one of your specialties. This means you have the potential to unlock a fire-related innate talent.>
<Once a talent is awakened, you can learn various special abilities, spells, and mana gathering methods unique to fire users. For example, you can increase mana by being near a fire source, such as a bonfire or a torch. At a high mastery level, you can empower your guns and ammunition. Imagine transforming regular cartridges into incendiary rounds or explosive rounds.>
"Mana gathering methods?! Explosive rounds?!" Felix was interested. However, the possibility of unlocking the talent was too slim. He protested, "But the pill is trash! The unlocking chance is lower than Genshit's gacha rate, and I only have one chance! I don't even have a freaking pity draw or a guaranteed bonus draw!
This whole thing is impossible!"
<Your ancestor left me a message, and he ordered me to play it if you whine about the unlocking chance - "Believe in RNGesus, my stupid descendant." End of message.>
"…"
<Find a good place away from flammable objects, consume the pill, and pray. This is my recommendation.>
"…"
<…Believe.>
"Yeah, right. Believe… Pfft."
…
In the end, Felix followed Jessica's advice. He put on his clothes and left the room, strolling and exploring the mansion's garden.
Unlike Aero City's abandoned mansion, this residence was a hybrid fortress home, featuring tall brick walls, a citadel, and watchtowers. A hundred soldiers in blue tunics and chainmail gear patrolled the battlements and the towers, monitoring the city's outer district.
Sometimes, the garrison soldiers glanced at the garden and roads within the fortress to relax their eyes. When they noticed Felix, they stared at him for a while and then looked away.
Felix didn't blame them as security guard jobs were boring. He continued exploring the hybrid fortress garden, searching for a place without flammable trees and bushes.
The garden was out of the question. Felix turned his attention to the brick towers, which were made of stone and bricks. He climbed the battlement stairs and strolled the walkway on the walls.
The guards frowned when Felix showed up, but everybody showed Felix respect, bowing and making way for him to pass through. Felix reached the farthest watchtower, which faced a cliff outside the city. The patrols also neglected this area as nothing was worth protecting except the citadel behind the tower, which featured taller guard towers with a better view.
As the tower was made of bricks and large stones, Felix believed this should fit the criteria. He sat on top of the tower and popped the fire pill into his mouth. As soon as the pill entered his stomach, it was instantly digested into red gas, vanishing into his blood circulation system. However, the digested pill left behind murky black liquid, which also entered his blood vessels.
Felix's blood temperature rose by 10 degrees Celsius, endangering his brain and other organs. His body fat and fluid melted into red mist, some of which escaped through his pores. Crimson gas leaked around him, soaking Felix with a thick bloody scent.
Despite the changes and the rise of temperature in his body, Felix only felt discomfort in his stomach. He tilted his head and slightly massaged his temples, easing his blood pressure. The heat slowly reached his face and his brain.
As soon as the fever hit, Felix yawned and stretched. Leisurely, he lay on the tower, planning to take a nap. Fortunately, he didn't forget about the antidote. Opening the system inventory, Felix fetched the skin cream and opened the container. Treating it as ice cream or yogurt, he licked the cream. Within a minute, he had eaten everything in the bottle, not leaving a single drop behind.
The antidote took effect. The pill's waste was boiled and exited his body as black gas. Some black liquid turned into black jelly and rolled in his intestines, queuing to come out the next morning.
As some of Felix's blood turned into red gas, his blood pressure sharply dropped. The mixed fever pain and drowsiness reminded him of the times he got a cold. Thus, Felix closed his eyes and took a short nap. He didn't realize that he slept there the whole night.
.
<Your bloodline resonates with the lesser fire element pill.>
<You have unlocked a new innate talent - Flame Lungs.>
<Your lifespan has increased by one year.>
<Your mana has increased by 1,000!>
<You have reached level 7!>
<Your inventory has expanded by 5 slots.>
<A new status attribute has been added - Age and Lifespan!>
.
The next morning, Felix regained his strength. Sitting up, he fetched a new bottle of skin cream. Scooping the content, he smeared it all over his body, including the sensitive areas.
The cream moisturized his skin, sinking into the pores and flushing out remaining blemishes and impurities. Faint black gas exuded from his body. After bathing himself with the strange cream, his body felt lighter. His mind was clear, and he was ready for another adventure.
"So, what did I get?"
Remembering what he had done last night, Felix opened the system screen and checked his status and messages.
He was astonished.
…
Name: Felix Ariel
Age: 18/31
Bloodline: [Unknown]
Element Affinity: Fire, Metal, Void
Innate Talent: Flame Lungs
Authorized Level: Super Democracy Pass (F)
Level: 7
Energy: 476/1,477
Mana: 1,477
…
Flame Lungs? Felix raised his eyebrows and looked at Jessica. He pointed at the screen. "What is this?"
<Your new innate talent.>
"I mean, how?"
<Have faith in RNGesus, my heathen host.>
"…But, one percent?"
<There are likely chances that you were born with it, but you don't know it exists. After all, it is described as "INNATE TALENT" for a reason.>
"…"
*DING*
Jessica activated a new window for Felix, unveiling the description of the innate talent.
…
Innate Talent: Flame Lungs
This unique talent belongs to mythical species such as phoenixes and fire dragon variants. Only descendants of such creatures who possess high fire element affinity can have this talent.
Different from ordinary humans and beasts, your respiratory system is immune to extreme heat, smoke, and fire. Your lungs contain small pockets that continuously ignite oxygen and natural mana aflame, purifying poison, miasma, and impurities within you.
With flame lungs, you can survive and thrive in extreme environments such as volcanic biomes, gas biomes, poisonous miasma biomes, and high-temperature areas. As long as there is fire within your lungs, you can never be suffocated.
Flame lungs are the prerequisite requirement for learning the following mana cultivation methods: Phoenix Breathing, Fire Dragon Breathing, and Fire Spirit Breathing.
If you smoke the right cigarettes, you can sometimes breathe fire. Try it and sneeze at your friend's face!
If you consume gasoline, you can defecate fire the next morning. Try it and enjoy your private jetpack!