Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse

Chapter 176: What Da Kunoichi Doing?

"It's been a few days and tracks are largely destroyed," Tsunade hums but such words are most likely guaranteed to have snarky or mocking retorts as Orochimaru snickers, "Hear that, Jiraiya?"

"Sounds like someone wore her Ms. Obvious pants today," Jiraiya laughs while patting down a tree and then touching the soil before tasting it.

"Oh, I get it," Tsunade smiles instead, "This mission is funny to you, right? Maybe I should punch in a fucking crater and alert the enemies. After all, who the fuck wants to find out what Danzo's upto or get a sample of Hero Water quietly."

Jiraiya and Orochimaru share a look before the latter shakes her head, "It's not that time of the month. I think she just didn't pour enough sake in her breakfast..."

Jiraiya then looks at Tsunade inquisitively as if to confirm this theory but he soon back peddles and stares at Orochi, "How the hell do you know about her cycle?"

"Oh? Tsunade didn't tell you?" Orochimaru smiles, "We've gotten quite intimate, after all. It's hard to hide such things from a spy as skilled as you. Isn't that right, Tsunade? Should we tell some of the 'things' we would like to share?"

Tsunade stares at the sincerely smiling Orochimaru with an expression of pure, unadulterated shock while Jiraiya's lips are parted so wide that a windmill shuriken would fit in his gullet.

"Y-you two? Wait, is that why you're into cosmetics now? No, hold up! Does Tsunade have a harem of dudes? Ah Too many questions! Can I join?!"

Tsunade deadpans and looks around, "We shouldn't waste time and stop talking nonsense. If you want to have that much fun, I CAN tell Jiraiya the actual reason you got into cosmetics."

Smirking but refraining from replying as Bimbo knew the Senju would most definitely ruin the game, she turns around and lets out several snakes from her sleeves, "I was making a joke, Jiraiya. And no, you're not invited to the harem."

"Tch, like I want to be in yours," Jiraiya scoffs with a disgusted look and begins to search for clues once again while Tsunade returns to her duty of keeping an eye out.

They share the silence comfortably while Tsunade shares her senses with the [Yin Release: Spy Eye] that gave her a view from high above. While she hadn't even thought of practicing the moves left by her mother and father before since she wasn't a scout in any matter, being this close to Kai has its unforeseen side effects. And as he lives his life, Tsunade, too, decided to learn a few more Jutsus alongside her wood clones training in Mokuton.

As Kai admits, it's better to have an unused skill than to not have a skill in times of dire need. And due to her unnatural affinity with Yin nature transformation, mastering this jutsu to a certain extent was simply a matter of a week.

Not to mention the fact that Tsuna

de has gotten better at dealing with shared points of view and division of thought processes. Although Kai has left her in dust in this regard with six of his wood clones, Tsunade feels that her pace of improvement is adequate.

At least, she is improving, Tsunade realizes this. Before, she was simply wasting her life on booze and gambling...

Now, Kai and Jutsus are added to that list. Not that she minded this change. She's still the same old sloppy Slug Princess.

"Oh, check this out," Orochimaru calls for the rest of their attention while holding out a minuscule shard of reflective metal one-tenth of the size of a human nail.

"My dearest summon found it. It's a shard of chakra metal," She hands it to Jiraiya who then seals it inside a tiny scroll as he remarks, "Just a shard isn't going to be enough at all. Let's keep looking."

"Oh, look. Did you just read that from your Mr. Obvious Scroll?" Tsunade chuckles.

"Walked right into that one," Jiraiya mutters as they resume their search.

After a while, Orochimaru suddenly speaks out, "I think it's a fruitless effort to 'find' a clue. We should focus on Kumogakure's team if they are still around. After all, they must have searched around this region extensively. They DID lose a great target that is Sakumo Hatake."

Jiraiya crosses his arms and thinks deeply before shaking his head eventually, "One hour more. Let's try and see if we can get lucky."

"With Tsunade around?" Orochimaru raises an eyebrow.

"Orochi is right," Tsunade doesn't even take offense when around her team, "Lucky? With me around?"

"One hour more," Jiraiya asserts with a serious expression and the remaining duo shrug.

---

"Sakumo Hatake's disappearance is nothing short of ill-timing," Hiruzen sets his chin over his interlocked fingers as he continues, "But what is terrifying to think is whether this is done intentionally or not. If it's the former, the enemy may know more than what I can anticipate. If not, then I do blame my terrible luck."

After a moment, Hiruzen snaps out of his deliberation and looks at the woman sitting across from him. Adopting a wry expression as he looks into the eyes of the middle-aged brown-haired woman, Hiruzen utters, "Sorry, Biwako. I know... you aren't thrilled with me bringing up my work at the very moment you visit... I'm not bringing any old habits up again. It's just that..." he issues another sigh while Biwako smiles.

"Now when did the smartest shinobi of my generation get so muddled? I don't like it when you obsess over work. It's harmful to your health. But I can never not support you. After Danzo... you have been nothing but a responsible husband and a caring father."

Walking over to Hiruzen, Biwako takes away his hat and reveals his receding hairline while settling on his lap, "I just want you to relax," she whispers gently. Her words are the relief that Hiruzen didn't know he needed.

"I know there are many things you cannot speak of. I'm well aware of the secrecy of our profession, after all. But don't hold back anything unimportant. I'm all ears. I know you need this the most."

Hiruzen feels his body relax as he buries his head into the back of her neck while he whispers and speaks about simple administrative problems and other annoying issues he's been dealing with for a while. Again, even now, Hiruzen holds onto his senses. Revealing anything sensitive to Biwako may just put her in danger because Hiruzen himself would start suspecting Biwako for any number of things.

Biwako, too, keeps her eyes close the entire time. She becomes the source path through which Hiruzen could vent...

And after a few long minutes, they engage in acts of such deplorable nature that affirm Kai's determination to set this chair ablaze after succeeding as the Hokage and find a new and better chair... and Hokage uniform, too.

After a while, Biwako can be seen exiting the Hokage's office and she soon leaves the Ninja Academy after returning the greetings of the few Chunin Instructors roaming the hallway to make their way to their classroom.

But who Biwako did not 'expect' to run into during her very intent return to her home through the route that included the Hospital was Nagato.

Seeing the redhead, Biwako places a kind smile on her lips and greets the youth, "Nagato-Kun, returning home, are we? I hope your day wasn't demoralizing in any manner."

"Ah, Biwako-san," Nagato smiles and bows politely for a moment before greeting in return, "It's just the same as usual in the Hospital. I do look forward to my personal time for research every day so it's quite fun for me."

Biwako nods as she begins to walk alongside Nagato. For a brief moment, her experienced eyes focus on his eyes which are set on the road ahead but then she assumes her usual demeanor, "Research, huh? That term sure takes me back. Be it Hiruzen or his disciples, all of them enjoy discovering new possibilities. I feel a little bad. Had I still been in the service, I would have recommended that you learn from a great master. After all, you are trying to improve on the foundational knowledge set by Tsunade."

"It's fine this way. I get to help others in the hospital and try to create... er, discover something new."

"Why the hesitation, Nagato-Kun? Invention is not a shameful thing."

Nagato shakes his head, "It's not that. I had a conversation with Kushina-san a few days ago. She said that when it comes to the basic chakra theories and practices specifically, for instance, seal matrixes and even the healing chakra of Iryo Nin... We shinobi do not 'invent' it but merely discover what wasn't known before. Like mathematics. It's rules and nature. We did not create the concept of 'addition' but eventually discovered it."

Biwako raises an eyebrow and comments gently, "That is truly insightful. Kushina must already be a master of fuinjutsu, right?"

Nagato shrugs, "I don't know. She was very clear that she will only be a master when she completes the inheritance but according to her, no one can complete it."

"Excuse me?" Biwako chuckles as Nagato look equally confused, "I know. That's what I thought, too. But Kushina-san had the same answer. That's one of the reasons I decided not to learn from her..."

"It's a pity. Besides Mito-Sama, no one ever achieved such heights in fuinjutsu in recent years. Even Mito-sama's father fell short in terms of raw talent."

"Wow, really? Did you know Mito-Sama personally?"

"I did. She was a kind and gentle woman who would never hurt any innocent soul." Biwako replies.

---

*Grrrrr*

"Now what? Let me sleep... it's boring as hell without anyone leading an army to the shores once again."

Ignoring the spirited voice of a damned hellish bitch that SHOULD have kicked the goddamn BUCKET! The deep feminine voice growls, "Shut your cunt hole! I'm pretty sure someone just lied about me and a sheer feeling of disgust and pure rage now flows through my veins."

"... You have no veins."

"Aaaghhhhhhh! I'll kill you!"

"You will certainly try... and get pounded so hard even Hashirama would jump out of his grave from jealousy."

The two voices go silent after a moment of understanding.

---

As Nagato enters the Senju Compound, Biwako smiles and greets the guards before leaving. Her arrival isn't a surprise. It's no secret that Biwako is a kind soul that has retired from the terrors of her former occupation and she now spends her time helping others as much as possible outside of her usual duties as a mother of two.

She has also advised and helped Nagato sort out a few professional rivalries in the hospital, earning her a better impression of Tsunade than Hiruzen does for the time being, and once or twice a week she would run into Nagato before walking with him and escorting him to the gates of the compound. She is well-known to be protective of children.

After a while, Biwako enters the Sarutobi estate where the current manor of the Hokage resides, and she enters her room.

Taking out a scroll, Biwako begins to write many things and she soon rolls it back and slips it into her sleeves.

Walking into the kitchen, Biwako bends down to pick a bowl of flour to prepare for dinner when the scroll slips through her sleeves, and a chalky-white arm forms through the floor to grab the scroll and disappear with it.

Blinking in surprise, Biwako looks at the bowl of flour strangely.

'This is weird... I'm pretty sure I had roasted pork in mind for the dinner tonight... oh, well, I'm getting old, too.'

She continues to work peacefully without too many worries in her heart.

'I should try to cook Hiruzen's favorite tomorrow. Sakumo's disappearance is really worrying him,' she notes internally, 'I wish he retires now and spends time with the family but... that would be hard with another war brewing in the continent.'

Smiling in contentment, Biwako hums a tune and starts cooking dinner, 'I'm being a little selfish but I'm content helping him through... the Hokage chair certainly supports our weight and moves more than enough.'

***

Alternate Title: Kind? Gentle? Biwako's Tripping!; Pounding Promise!; What Da Hand Doing?; Biwako is NOT a Predator!

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