Don't be So Proud

Epilogue 1 — Someday, You will Meet a Person Who is as Dazzling as a Rainbow

Shen Xi was born in the winter. The H City Women and Children’s Hospital welcomed a rosy little baby girl into the world. Outside the delivery room, Shen Jian Guo was so happy he nearly fainted. Resting his hand on the door and leaning his entire body weight on it, he cried out, with tear-filled eyes, “I have a daughter. I finally have a daughter!”

The year Shen Xi was born, He Zhi Zhou was already two years old and was a little boy who was already walking stably but did not really like talking. His household’s nanny would try to play with him with his milk bottle, but each time, He Zhi Zhou would wordlessly turn his entire body away and put on an expression that declared he was already sick of drinking that stuff.

At age two, Shen Xi looked like a fair little doll carved out of jade, and when she saw anyone, she would give random little baby babbles. She was a little child who loved excitement. She could finish off three bottles of milk per day, and every day, the thing she loved most to do was to hug her big milk bottle, lie on her back in her crib with one leg propped on the other knee, and daydream, which basically was “I don’t want to grow up, oh, I don’t want to grow up.”

When Shen Xi was two years old, He Zhi Zhou was four and a precocious little child. He enjoyed reading alone and pondering, and his favourite television show was Science and Nature. His little brain contained a hundred thousand “why” questions. His parents were constantly quarrelling, and he often would not even see them. His household nanny would secretly ask him, “Who do you like best, daddy or mommy?” and sulkingly, he would answer, “I don’t like either.” It was just that, sometimes when he was sitting on the huge sofa watching television by himself, he would wonder why daddy and mommy weren’t home yet.

When Shen Xi was four, her dad and mom bought her a pretty backpack and notebook and told her that she could go to kindergarten now. Except, kindergarten was not as fun as she had thought it would be. There were too many kids and just a few teachers. And also, why weren’t they allowed to have crackers in class? Daddy had told her that when you’re hungry, you should eat. That same year, the sports school for dance selected her as someone with good potential. In the end, though, because she ate too much and cried too much, after only a short period of training, she was sent back.

Shen Xi was age four, and He Zhi Zhou was age six. There was only another year and then he would be going to primary school. Granddad took him for a child intelligence test. When it was done, he picked him up in delight. “My Little Zhou is so smart!” Was it really such a good thing to be smart? He always learned things the quickest, but he was unable to find any little friends whom he could play with. His teachers would praise him every day, but he, on the other hand, would find his teachers’ words pointless and boring. A six-year-old boy would actually find things pointless and boring? Would anybody believe these words?

When Shen Xi was six years old, her kindergarten class held a graduation ceremony, and Shen Xi and many of the little friends she had grown up with all danced a graduation dance together. She danced to “The Little Girl who Picks Mushrooms,” and when her performance came to an end, she received continuous applause. Bending at the waist in a bow, little Shen Xi said, “Thank you, everyone.”

With a smile, her teacher asked her, “Xixi, will you tell Teacher, are you happy that today is kindergarten graduation?”

“Yup, I’m happy!”

“Why?”

“Because when I graduate, I won’t have to go to school anymore!”

Off the stage, in the audience, Shen Jian Guo and Wu Ling practically fell to the floor in laughter. Oh, child, your days of suffering are just beginning!

At age eight, Shen Xi got a grade of 56 on her math exam, and for the first time ever, she understood what the feeling of sadness was. Holding her exam paper, she sobbed loudly. She had covered the paper in writing! Why did her deskmate get a grade of 100 but she only got 56? Not happy! That evening, Shen Xi went to dance with her dance teacher. She did leg stretches and backbends, and the way she hopped and skipped was like a cute, little angel. All Shen Xi’s dance teachers liked her and believed she had great potential in dancing. When Shen Jian Guo picked Shen Xi up to go home, he asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up. Joyfully sprawled on Shen Jian Guo’s back, Shen Xi answered, “A really amazing dancer.”

At age ten, He Zhi Zhou would get a headache with each weekly journaling exercise. The journal topic assigned for this week was “What do I want to be when I grow up?” This little youth with the handsome appearance propped his chin on his hand, at a loss. What did the future look like? Would the same people still be around him? And what sort of person would he become? Would he get married? Probably not. Marriage was not a good thing. There were many science models in his bedroom, all gifted to him from different uncles and aunties. This was the one and only type of gift that he did like. With pen in hand, he scrawled out a journal entry, treating it as just a task that needed to be completed. Its title was, “When I grow up, I want to be a scientist.” The next day, his teacher posted his journal entry up on the blackboard as an example for the other students to learn from. Everyone was envious of He Zhi Zhou, but He Zhi Zhou did not like this. A person’s future was his own business.

At age ten, Shen Xi took part in a children’s dance competition. The television station had broadcasted the competition live, and the whole Shen family had come to the competition site. The little girl’s hair was tied in two long braids, and her little lips were painted with a rosy red colour. When she smiled, her entire face brightened, and like her adorable, sprightly dance, it left an unforgettable memory with people. Shen Xi won her first dance trophy in her life, and then her whole family took her to eat at her favourite place, KFC. With her lips pouted upwards, the little girl already had the worries of a little lady. “My teacher said eating KFC will make you fat.” But after that, she still ended up eating until she let out a belch, and still she could not stop. She was asked, what if she got fat and could not dance? Shen Xi always had her own justifications. “But dancing also requires energy. How can you dance if your tummy is hungry?”

When He Zhi Zhou was twelve years old, he participated in the Science Olympiad, Math Olympiad, Chess Olympiad… Too many to even attend them all. In the eyes of his teachers, he was a young genius. All his teachers liked him and would have him take part in all the competitions. Even his language arts teacher told him to participate in the writing composition competition. He started to like playing basketball. He did not like going home after school, and when the driver came to pick him up, he still would not leave. His mother worried that he would go wayward, but his granddad always sided with him. “How bad can he become? He’s already outstanding to the point that you need to thank Heaven and Earth.”

When Shen Xi was twelve years old, the fad with the girls in her class was making bracelets. It was that type made from colorful threads, where 1 RMB could buy several strands. Shen Xi bought many with her pocket money, but all along, she was unable to make even one good one. In the end, all the pretty threads were thrown into the garbage can when Wu Ling was cleaning her room. The one and only one she had made was given to Lin Yu Tang, but it was a little ugly and Lin Yu Tang did not want to wear it on his wrist. Glumly, Shen Xi asked him, “It doesn’t look nice?” Twelve-year-old Shen Xi still had not learned how to hate a person, but she already knew how to like a person—that was, to stick close to him and keep sticking close to him. She delightedly felt that Lin Yu Tang might possibly be her “little world” in the future. But, O Love, you are so beautiful and so full of unknowns.

At age fourteen, He Zhi Zhou got into the first group fight of his life. A gang of vindictive teenagers rode their bicycles through S City’s streets. The warm breeze of summer blew the corners of their school uniforms in a flashy, high-profile display. But was a gang fight really all that fun? Perhaps what was more fun was destroying that “good student” image that his teachers had of him. What he truly wanted was the feeling that came from completely destroying it. Many of his companions had a lovely girl sitting on the back rack of their bicycles, but he was still that person who came and went alone. The girls in his school all liked to secretly discuss, who could be the lucky one to sit on the back rack of He Zhi Zhou’s bike? However, even when He Zhi Zhou graduated from middle school, this question did not have an answer.

When Shen Xi was fourteen, she already stood slim and graceful. Though she, too, was required to wear the baggy, shapeless uniform of Chinese schools, Shen Xi was always able to look vibrant and fresh and adorable in hers. More and more bad boys began to set their sights on her. Shen Jian Guo, that madly overprotective father, so very wished he could drive away all those brat boys who were hanging around his daughter every day. Shen Xi had her own QQ account, and her classmate helped her come up with her online handle, “Lily in the Wind.” After using it for a little while, she felt it was too corny and changed it to “Faint is Dawn’s Light.” Then, she had kept using it, all the way to now. Shen Xi got her period. Her teacher told her it was periodic bleeding caused by the uterus shedding its outer lining. Wu Ling told her it meant she was grown up now. Grown up now… As Shen Xi lay in her blankets with a hot water bottle on her stomach, she wondered, could it be that being grown up meant having stomach cramps?

In that same year, He Zhi Zhou was sixteen. The young man’s features were increasingly handsome and striking. He was still the high-IQ student whose grades were so good there was absolutely no need to worry. However, only he knew just how rebellious his heart was. In regards to what his future would look like, it was becoming less and less clear to him. Occasionally, he would read some wuxia [martial arts] novels. The heroines in those novels were spirited and vibrant. His companions would ask him whether he had a dream girl. Dream girl—He Zhi Zhou felt that that idea was a little funny. If in this lifetime he really did meet her, his dream girl would have a pair of eyes that were just like tea, lovely and clear. He would work hard to not let any sorrows or worries cloak those eyes. That night, he really did dream about a girl who had such a pair of eyes. The he inside that dream was somewhat unfamiliar to him. And then, when he awoke in the middle of the night, his entire body felt hot, and there was a viscous stickiness on him.

When Shen Xi was sixteen years old, the teachers were fierce and there was more homework. She began to have never-ending test papers that needed to be written and endless dreams to dream. Bored girls who had big imaginations would gather together and fantasize about what their future husbands would look like. Husband and lover—a topic that left people feeling shy and curious. First off, he needed to be good-looking. Next, he needed to be good in his studies. The best would be if he had a bit of a bad boy’s smile, the type that causes flutters in a person’s heart. Oh God, all the future Prince Charmings were feeling the pressure. Shen Xi had her own blog, and the world of the Internet felt novel and fun to her. But, it ended up that in not even half a month, Wu Ling cut off her Internet, giving the reason, “You are already a high school student.” A high school student, one who every day was nonstop doing papers of practice problems and homework. Her school held a sports meet. Shen Xi, taking part in the hurdles races, accidentally fell, but holding on to a mentality of persistence, she tried getting across one more. The result was that she still fell. Sob, sob. So humiliating. It would have been better to not be persistent.

He Zhi Zhou was eighteen years old. It was one year of crazy, adolescent behavior and ostentatious display, and he lived a life that was completely unfamiliar to him. He was smart and had high opinions of himself. In class, he would easily point out grammar mistakes that his teacher accidentally committed, and when he skipped class, he would lean back in the couch at the cybercafé and dominate in the video games. What were the college entrance exams to him anyway? After all, he didn’t even need to study but would still be able to get into a university that other people would need to work hard and fight for in order to achieve admission. He had the natural skill and assets that allowed him to be blasé and reckless, and he used rebellion as the way to mock Fate’s prideful stance. However, if life is a road that easily diverges into different paths, in the end, he still returned onto his original way. It was because he clearly knew that intelligence and pride were not excuses for wasting away time. That same year, he gave up his opportunity for direct admission into university without needing to take the college entrance exams. His number one choice on his university application was S University. He became taciturn and put away all of his maliciousness and immaturity. He had three pretty good roommates. Sometimes, he would pick up a phone call from a girl, who every day would ask for Lin Yu Tang. His tone would be icy. Didn’t she know how to call the person’s mobile?

Shen Xi was eighteen years old. Although she did not get into a satisfactory university, being able to continue dancing was still a good choice. During her high school graduation party, she danced a modern dance to “My Future is not a Dream.” She was now a high school graduate, and after summer vacation, she would be a college student. Her [older, female, patrilineal] cousin said that college was really easy, and keeping busy by eating, drinking, and partying was good enough. Shen Jian Guo told her not to be overly relaxed about it; there was still the CET-4 exam to take in college. Shen Xi was filled with hopeful expectations for her own college life because Lin Yu Tang was in S University and her college was right beside S University. The only thing was, military training in first-year college was annoying, and there were so many new friends it was overwhelming. Maybe just burying her head and having a good sleep was the most important thing. So this was what college life was like. Sometimes, when she was feeling too sad, the thought would cross her mind that she really wished her sleep would just take her right back to preschool, where she would awaken on a morning infused with warm sunshine and need to put on her little backpack to head to school again.

At age twenty, He Zhi Zhou went to the best school in the United States as an exchange student. His ordered and routine life of learning had no surprises and no joys. When he was bored and irritable, he would head to the basketball courts and play a game that would get the blood roiling. His temperament became all the more taciturn, though occasionally he would think back on that young and wild period of his life. Pretty girls would call him and ask him to go out on dates. Perhaps he should have a girlfriend. But then, he would remember that girl in his dreams, and the matter of getting a girlfriend would become non-urgent and not worth getting impatient over. Perhaps simply meeting her by chance would be the best. Perhaps, before he met that “her” of his life, he could first make himself even stronger and more outstanding. Only then, when love did come, would he be able to respond to it with ease. However, with the thing that love is, he truly did not hold out on any sort of hopes. His heart was not easily stirred with feelings, and hence, he had never known what it felt like to have his heart stirred.

Shen Xi was twenty years old, the most beautiful age, that most splendid time of youth. There were thousands of possibilities for what lay ahead in the beautiful future. She had thought her life would continue going on like it always had—until she met He Zhi Zhou.

He Zhi Zhou was twenty-two years old, and his romantic life was empty and desolate. He did not believe he would encounter a love that could cause his heart to leap and stir. And then, he met his girl.

Prior to this, it seemed their lives really had not intersected, but yet, it also seemed that each step they had taken, each thing they had done was to allow them to be even better when they met one another. To have met this most wonderful person during the most wonderful time of their lives—it seemed it was a meeting destined by fate. Not only did they meet one another, they also met their own self that made the other person a better person.

Someday, you will meet a person who is as dazzling as a rainbow.