‘Fuck all of this shit, why the fuck does it have to be me, fuck my fucking fuck.’ That was only the middle of Eliza’s thoughts as she sat on her lonesome in the middle of Lake Ravetoria. An absolutely cringeworthy name for the body of water John had created in the west of Liberty Island, which was also an absolutely cringeworthy name.

Her black robe, drenched from the distance she had to swim from the shore to the egg-shaped island in the middle, hung over the branch of a tree. Not to dry, just because Eliza hated the feeling of the wet cloth clinging to her body. For the same reason, she had parted with her leather top. The little piece that acted as a barrier between her lower lips and the sandy floor, however, she kept on quite happily. Almost completely nude, she clawed at the dirt and pulled a pebble from the fine sand, only to throw it at the water. The stone sank into the dark body of water, illuminated only by moonlight, and vanished from sight amidst the ripples.

“Cocksucking fate for cocksucking bad luck bitches like me,” she now mumbled out loud, only to begin laughing at herself. Wasn’t she over all of this self-doubt? Had she not vowed to that guy she loved that she would concentrate on becoming better? What was she doing right now? She had snuck out of a comfortable bed just to have a midnight swim? ‘What do you think about that, you dumb cunt?’ she thought, but the question wasn’t aimed at herself.

Thana, like usual, didn’t answer. The only clue Eliza got that she had even reached the goddess was the shifting of another consciousness inside her. She felt it in an unwanted twitch of her fingers, the shifting of her blood within the veins, a skipped beat of her heart. A little pushback and the living extinction event settled in her attempts.

It had now been a week since the funeral. John had been making progress with his eye problem, that was good. On the other hand, she had absolutely no idea if she was doing any better in the department of suppressing Thana. It wasn’t like the goddess was conveniently pressing against her resolve whenever she meditated.

“Come on, DO SOMETHING, YOU ABSOLUTE ASSMUNCHER!” Eliza jumped to her feet and screamed at the lake and repeatedly hit her own head.

A blank voice answered. “I don’t think you mean me with that?” The blood mage whirled around to see a woman with blonde hair and a white dress stand there. Pale moonlight reflected in her equally white, perfect skin. She looked like a puppet, a very gorgeous, lifelike puppet.

Despite that Nia Fae looked translucent, like a piece of satin spanned across a source of light. “Where the fuck did you come from?!” Eliza growled, ready to charge at the creepy pariah. As if that explained everything, Nia just pointed south. “Okay, why the shit was I even expecting something solid from your scatter-brained dumbass? Do you have any fucking idea how worried we all were when you just left all of a sudden?!”

“You care for me?” Nia grabbed her (oddly enough dry) bag and pulled out the stack of cards. After some shuffling around, she held up the one stating that she was ‘Touched’. “I thank you for that revelation.”

“You’re SO FUCKING CREEPY, I swear to shit, you porcelain looking cumdump,” Eliza didn’t know what else to say. Despite all this time, feeling attached to someone was still so weird to her. Particularly because she knew exactly that the only reason why she even loved John was because he had been there at the right time.

Truthfully speaking, it could have been an absolute scumfuck that saved her and gave her a home. It wasn’t like she had any particularly strong morals herself. John was the reason why she cared about human life; a different guiding hand and she could quite easily have been a mass murderer. She wasn’t even certain which of those lives would have made her happier, just that she was currently ecstatic about being alive and that she didn’t want to threaten that.

Suddenly, she felt a giggle rise in her chest. The more stressed she got, the more she had the urge to just laugh like a crazy maniac. Bursting out into loud, unsteady laughter, she had Nia change to the confused card, the blank putting her head into a tilted position.

“Any-fuck,” Eliza eventually plopped down back into the soil. “Go tell John that you are back. I have things to do this mind using shit about.”

“Thinking?” Nia asked.

“That’s the boring word for that skull-tearing fuckery, yes.”

Minutes of silence passed in which Eliza looked at the lake, trying to formulate any clear thought. When she turned around, Nia was still standing there. Not feeling like repeating her statements, Eliza turned back to look at the lake. Now that she was feeling watched, however, she peeked over her shoulder every few seconds, unable to think about whatever the hell she came there to find out.

About to scream her frustrations at the straight forward staring blonde, Eliza was interrupted when Nia suddenly spoke up, “I am not here to stay.”

“Then why the fuck are you here?” Eliza wanted to know.

“Because it was on my way.”

“Pussy-ass-bitch, you’re making about as much sense as a lawnmower on a fucking skiing site right now,” the blood mage groaned. “Your way where?”

“My way away from fear, to the southwest,” Nia answered. “I need to gather strength to not be afraid anymore, find things on the other side. What do you need?”

Eliza’s eyes twitched. The cryptic babel was bad enough, that she even understood part of it was somehow worse. “I need to know if I can control Thana.”

“Have you asked her?”

“Of course, I have fucking asked her, the cumstain isn’t answering.”

“Have you spoken to her, then?” Nia asked, leaving Eliza to stare with deep annoyance. Even the pariah got that signal, backing off half a step before continuing. “The Great Empty one doesn’t always talk to me when I just ask things into the Nirvana, sometimes you need to enter it to have a conversation.”

That was maybe not the worst advice ever. “Not like I stand to lose anything from doing that shit,” Eliza mumbled and took a lax meditation pose. ‘How the fuck am I supposed to get to THAT place though?’ The moments she and Thana were the closest were when she was filled to the brim with wrath.

Then there was one thought that would get her to find the goddess of genocide within her. A single word, attached to a person she had never met but wanted to murder more than any other in this world, even that asshole Mengele. Sigmund, he who had hurt the person that Eliza cared more about than herself.

It was the opposite of her usual meditation. Rather than calming herself in order to suppress the calamity inside her, she was working herself up into somewhat of a frenzy. All of the spine-ripping, face-tearing, bone-crushing fantasies she had came together. The only overlap between the calm effort and the vengeful one was the want to stay in control of herself.

The darkness behind her closed eyes faded for a different view. Eliza found herself standing upon the surface of a serene lake. Stretching across the horizon, the flat, clear surface reflected no celestial source of light. Despite this, everything was illuminated as if it was the brightest day.

Souls of a cyan blue or crimson red wound their distorted humanoid shapes towards the sky, like the misty silhouettes of men and women. They condensed on an invisible ceiling, pulled together into a singular raindrop and fell into the lake. Unlike the pebble Eliza had thrown earlier, they caused no ripples. She could also see exactly what happened to them beneath the surface.

Under the surface of the lake was a mirror of the world. Where she stood alone on this side, a sheer endless amount of people was upside down beneath her. Still like stone pillars, they looked upwards. Occasionally, one of them would melt and drip upwards. Upon coming in contact with the still barrier, the molten bodies dissipated into the fine mist that formed the tumbling spirits. Once condensed and fallen back down, their bodies would reappear, as empty as before.

Eliza looked down directly between her feet only to find her gaze met with hateful spite by her own reflection. One of bone white skin and different eyes, as shattered purple as hers were but with golden lines crossing through the circle. Except for three in her left eye, the same three that were permanently stuck as lines in Eliza’s own. “Passive aggressive dipshit, stop staring and say something,” the blood mage cussed out the goddess, who only met her with silence.

Eliza looked around once more, she was completely alone on this side, all of the human bodies were piled up on the other. When she lost control of her body, she was amongst those frozen many, the only one able to move. In the tumbling mists the white-blue haired girl saw the faces that had long plagued her day to day existence, talking to her. Back then she had found them annoying, thought them to be simple births of her deranged and damaged psyche. Now she knew that they had been the remaining consciousness of the many people absorbed by the goddess of genocide, crying out through the cracks while Thana was still not yet completely formed.

Eliza took a step and so did Thana. “Fucking dumbass, you can walk with me, but you can’t fucking talk?!” she growled, the hateful glare remaining the only form of communication between them. “At least the creepy bimbo’s advice is shit, so I got that gratification,” the blood mage mumbled, then began to cackle as a spontaneous idea hit her.

Testing, she raised one arm; Thana followed the motion. She raised one leg; again, Thana followed the motion. Her laughter grew; she did a retarded little dance that looked more like an epileptic attack. The goddess of genocide broke through the surface of the lake with an angered scream.

Before Eliza knew it, she and Thana were tumbling over the surface of the lake, disturbing its serenity as they took wild swings at each other. Mindless violence went back and forth, causing large waves. In this theoretical space of their mind, their powers were no thing. It was just two equal shaped women beating the shit out of each other. It was the conflict itself that made a stormy sea from the serenity. Silent souls began to moan in protest and agony; the bodies underneath the split fell over and collapsed.

Eliza could do nothing but laugh as the goddess of genocide mounted on top of her and closed her hands around the blood mage’s throat. The grip had nothing threatening or erotic for that matter, Eliza felt absolutely nothing but insane amusement towards the wrathful contortion on Thana’s face. “Look at you…” she pressed past her lips, “…provoked like every other fucking human.”

Feeling the grip around her neck suddenly weaken, Eliza grinned from ear to ear as numerous emotions flashed over Thana’s face. Realization, shock, then shock about the fact that she even felt anything at all towards any of this. Her open mouth quivered, the purplish lips pulling back into a disgusted grimace. “I – hate – you,” the goddess sounded like a hungry wolf assaulting her next meal.

“No shit, you absolute piece of ass,” Eliza growled right back at her double. “Get out of my body and we won’t have to ever fucking deal with each other again. You can slaughter every last fuck out there as long as you kill nobody I care about.”

“MY body,” Thana’s hands closed again as only her resentment for all things human took precedent again. “You’re a parasite in MY body. Just brainwaves restored to the corpse that MY existence reanimated. A chrysalis stubbornly confining the butterfly you mean to birth. A mistake, a failure, a hindrance… STOP LAUGHING!”

“It’s just that this is the most amount of words your shitfuck brain ever put together and you liken yourself to a fucking insect?”

“Everything better than human.”

“You’re changing.” Eliza didn’t even struggle in any form, ignoring the goddess leaning down with her teeth laid bare. “John was right, I am not the only one who is getting influenced here. You’re becoming more human…” A deep growl came from Thana’s throat, accompanied with a clicking sound. “…you’re afraid.”

Liquid bone poured out of the goddess’ pores. Rapidly, it covered her face under a smooth surface, leaving only the eyes and holes for the nose exempt. Then, with shattering sounds more akin to glass, the mask began to crack along the lines of her mouth. A deep breath in and then it ripped open, hardened bone and her cheeks alike tore as her jaw unhinged, opening wider than any human ever should be able to.

A deafening scream blew hot air, smelling of blood, right into Eliza’s face as she stared down the nightmarish maw of the goddess of genocide. The jagged edges of the crack were refining themselves into rows of sharp teeth; the crimson lifeblood that spilled out of the fatty tissue, connected still by visible sinews and stubborn strands of flesh, of her ripped cheeks extended as sharp needles, the perfectly white teeth in blue-shaded gums behind even that. Three layers of ripped teeth, the red middle extending beyond the outer bone like an extendable jaw, the needles growing ever sharper as they shifted between a crystalized and liquid state.

The sound came to a sudden end; the teeth snapped closed in front of Eliza’s eyes. Blood liquified completely again and flowed through the narrow gap of the crack. “Congratulations, you are fucking scary,” the blood mage drily answered the intimidation attempt. She hadn’t seen a lot of things worse, but she wouldn’t feel threatened by something like that. Thana and her had been in a stalemate for months now; there was no way this was anything beyond posture. “Want a Snickers? I hear bitches relax after they had a fucking Snickers.”

Thana was back to staring, the shattered purple of her eyes glowing in contrast to the absolute white. Around them, the lake was slowly settling back down, the surface still moving in oddly spherical waves, like boiling water.

“You really are afraid, aren’t you?” Eliza realized she had hit the hammer on the head. Her opposite freezing in response sealed the deal. “Not like you were afraid of Romulus, that was basic, animalistic, that was all fucking you were, a beast… You’re becoming more human the more you and I blur together and you fucking hate it.”

“…I wanted to murder that man you love,” Thana gave a surprisingly immediate response. “From the first moment, you ruined me, made me imperfect. I want to not think, to not feel, only slaughter. Only slaughter. Only slaughter. I am fucking killing them. They kill each other all the time, they spread misery and filth, they only make each other miserable. Whenever a single bastard shows himself, I will kill them.”

The bone plating grew all over her naked body; soon, the only thing still human about Thana was her shape and her words, the tone slipping deeper and deeper into a manifestation of misanthropy. A tail like an extended spine stripped of all flesh, with the protrusions sharpened into blades and thorns, the length of the goddess entire body waved slowly.

“I will break every single fucking thing they built and leave them forgotten forever.” Eliza recognized those words. “They will never sleep again, and when the last man is broken and crying for release,” the claws let go of Eliza’s throat as Thana realized where those words she was speaking came from, “I will kick them in the ribs and only make the torment worse.” Yet, she was unable to stop herself as she mimicked what Eliza had sworn on the day John went blind. “Sigmund is going to die… NO! ALL! THIS IS MY BODY! MY FATE! MY WORDS!”

Eliza laughed erratically, beyond all reason, as she witnessed the goddess of genocide claw at her body. Unsteady, mad sounds of delight underlined the self-flagellating acts of Thana. Ripping bone plates off herself, she sent the fused carapace flying in showers of blood. Even in this state of mental projection, her regeneration abilities displayed themselves as she ripped into her own flesh. It was a purely desperate display of a beast trying to physically rip the emotional impurity out of her body.

The laughter continued even when Thana’s wrath went from trying to carve it out of herself into tearing apart the person causing it in the first place. Eliza didn’t care for the pain. A ripped off leg, flying teeth, torn out hair, open guts, spilling on the floor, none of it was torment that she hadn’t experienced before. All she had as a reaction was undying amusement at the goddess’ peril.

With a frustrated roar, Thana gave up, leaving both of them heavily breathing sitting in a dark red spot in the translucent blue landscape. “Fuck you,” the goddess of genocide cursed.

“Now you’re speaking my language,” Eliza giggled. “You know that thing where we are trying to separate your shit from my shit, right?”

“Yes.”

Finally, they were talking about what she had come to discuss in the first place.

“Are you going to let it happen?”

“This is my body,” Thana kept insisting, Eliza rolling her eyes in amusement. “If I see the chance in that ritual to finally get rid of you, I will take it,” the flesh-made doomsday evidently saw no sense in lying about any of this. “But…” a moment of hesitation, a disgusted hiss when she realized she felt doubt. “…If it gives my purpose a chance to be reborn in an untainted form, then I will not struggle either.”

“So you would keep your tits calm during the fucking thing?”

“Force myself to the surface to continue this stalemate and fuse with your disgusting humanity even further in the process?” Thana clicked her teeth in a chittering, mocking manner. “I stand only to lose from that. Take your attempt.”

Eliza smirked and closed the eyes of this dream body to shift back into reality. Not the easiest process, much harder than the way in, in fact. She had to calm this absolute hatred for Sigmund down, which was only possible by thinking about more pleasant things. When she felt herself drift from Thana’s plane, she heard a few more words uttered with utter resentment.

“You made me a failure.”