Chapter 57
“You have absolutely no idea why we’re mad.” Hwang Yi-Young said ‘we’ instead of ‘I’. That meant that even if Kang Ho-Soo was not saying it, he shared the same sentiment as her.
“You’re upset because I acted alone without consulting anyone.”
“Yeah, but what really pissed me off was that you did all of that without taking us into consideration the entire time.”
“About that…”
“I know, you probably knew we would have stopped you if we found out about it. However, if you had made an effort in the beginning to convince us and CEO Jang as you did after the fact, would we have blindly opposed it?”
Since Kang Ho-Soo and Hwang Yi-Young were just employees, they had no authority over the company policies that governed Woo-Jin. It was a fact that even if they had not opposed his plan, there was nothing they could have done for him. Putting it bluntly, if both of them had helped Woo-Jin, they might have had to resign.
“But at the very least, we would have gotten a solid confirmation and assurance of your rights and safety from Production Director Park, and we would have prepared for the worst-case scenario. Just because nothing happened doesn’t mean it's unnecessary. You prepare because there is always the slightest possibility that something could go wrong. But, you were so confident in yourself that you simply ignored the entire process. The stunts must have looked easy to you and you probably couldn’t understand why we were nervous and worried about something so trivial. If you want to argue about efficiency, it would have been better to complete everything quickly without cumbersome procedures for the sake of convenience. But Woo-Jin, we are not you. There was no assurance and we were just terrified. You didn’t give us any confidence and made us tremble in fear. You did that to the people who love and care about you the most out of everybody here on site.”
Right now, it was natural for Production Director Park to treat Woo-Jin kindly and gently while saying that Woo-Jin was doing amazing. That was because Woo-Jin had done everything so well without the production director having to gripe or act harshly towards him. This was the result of the cooperation between the production director and the actor for the sake of producing the drama. However, if one were to look at the intention behind their actions, it was similar yet different at the same time.
If Woo-Jin made the best choice after considering his pride as an actor and the production, then it could be said that Production Director Park Jong-Hyuk only took the drama’s production into consideration. No matter what he did, Park Jong-Hyuk was a person who would not be ashamed of anything as long as it was for the production. He wasn’t a person who felt gratitude or had a sense of altruism towards other people and Woo-Jin had ultimately hurt the people who loved him by believing such a person.
“As an actor, you must have wanted to be proud of yourself, but hear me out. Even though you only have a small injury, Ho-Soo oppa and I, as well as everyone else at the site, were nervous and worried. There are people like us who care about you, and there are also people like Production Director Park who’s worried that the shooting will be disrupted if something happens to you. In a way, it means that you’re a precious and important person. And yet our worries just seem ridiculous to you?”
Woo-Jin shook his head after hearing Hwang Yi-Young’s question. He had never thought of it that way – he had only thought he had to work hard and do his best.
“It’s not the production crew or the production director that would be with you if something were to happen to you. Just like now, we’d be the ones who’ll be with you. A drama is a production put together by actors and the production crew, but we’re the ones who make Chae Woo-Jin the human into an actor. We are the staff members that specially cater to you and only you. If you’re committed and loyal to your job, please respect what we do as well.”
Kang Ho-Soo and Hwang Yi-Young’s job was to take care of Woo-Jin and manage him. In his arrogance, Woo-Jin had prevented them from doing their job.
“Noona…I truly didn’t mean to do that.”
“I know, but even if it wasn’t your intention to do that, you disregarded us with your actions.” Seeing Hwang Yi-Young biting her lip and trying to hold back her tears, Woo-Jin started to realize what he had done wrong.
Yesterday’s shooting had been extremely easy with zero difficulties for Woo-Jin. He simply could not understand why the people around him were getting flustered and kicking a huge fuss even though he was fine. It was to the point where he was beginning to question them – ‘I said I’m fine, but why can’t they trust me?’
Woo-Jin had felt a strong desire to complete everything quickly without having to deal with cumbersome procedures since they were running out of time. He had only focused on acting and felt that any issues that may stem from it were secondary. He also believed that those issues could be resolved as long as filming went smoothly since all of them were just people he had a working relationship with.
However, Hwang Yi-Young was talking about the weight of the affection and trust between people. Woo-Jin had disregarded the influence his actions had on others, and he had lacked the depth of affection to understand the other party’s feelings. Hwang Yi-Young had understood Woo-Jin’s state of mind and she was feeling hurt over it.
“And more importantly, the people who are loved are obligated to understand the feelings of the people who love them. Even if you can’t love all of them, at the very least, you shouldn’t disregard their feelings. If you do that, you’ll either become an arrogant person who treats people around them badly or you’ll become a cold-hearted person. I hope you don’t become someone like that.”
Some of the members of the idol group Hwang Yi-Young had been in charge of had been like that. Initially, they had been innocent and friendly, but eventually, they had gotten used to the love and affection showered by the public and had taken it for granted. And after a certain point, they started calculating people’s feelings and assessing both people and feelings in terms of material value instead of feeling grateful. They had given up on understanding the feelings of the people who loved them and only pursued their own desires.
Hwang Yi-Young truly hoped that Woo-Jin would not go down that path. Even though it might seem like she was kicking a big fuss because of something so trivial, everything always started from something insignificant and trivial. A person could get used to circumstances without realizing it and gradually change as a result.
“I’m sorry.”
After hearing what Hwang Yi-Young said, Woo-Jin suddenly remembered his mother If he thought back to how his mother had cried as she watched the scene where his character had been beaten to death in Death Hill, he had a rough idea of the rollercoaster of emotions Kang Ho-Soo and Hwang Yi-Young must have experienced yesterday.
Even though Hwang Yi-Young and Kang Ho-Soo’s feelings might be different from his family’s, he couldn’t ignore the depths of their feelings. Also, when he thought about how his family would react once yesterday’s filming was aired, he had nothing to say. If Woo-Hee had done the same thing he had done, then regardless of whether she was capable of doing it or now, he would have been very furious.
“Hyung, noona, I’m truly sorry. I was arrogant.”
He thought he only had to do a good job as an actor; then, everyone would be happy and understanding of what he had done. He had made a huge mistake by being inconsiderate and disregarding the feelings of the people who were worried about him and thought of him as a human being first before an actor.
What was the point of remembering his past lives? He was still unaware of the weight of the feelings that existed between people. That was the inherent limitation of his soul. But that did not mean he intended to give up on understanding the emotions between people. Just like how he loved his family and liked his friends, he was determined to try his best to understand and have affection for other people by gradually expanding his circle.
He hoped that by doing so, someday he would someday become a better person than he currently was. Making the people around him sad like he was right now was not the direction he wanted to go in life. He never wanted to remain a lonely and cold-hearted person as he had in his past lives. If Woo-Jin hadn’t remembered his past lives, he never would have become aware of his own problems.
‘I have to go to heaven.’
Even as he was sincerely repenting his actions, Woo-Jin recalled the one goal he had in life.
At some point, they had arrived at the orthopedic clinic, but Kang Ho-Soo simply parked the car in the parking lot and remained quiet. He wanted to give Hwang Yi-Young some time to tell Woo-Jin the things he wanted to say in his stead. Regardless of how much he tried, he did not have the gift of expressing his feelings as coherently as she did. That’s why he was secretly rooting for her.
Hwang Y-Young couldn't help but burst into tears at Woo-Jin's sincere apology. She quickly covered her swollen eyes with a tissue before waving.
“I’m done talking, so hurry up and get your hand checked out. We’re going to be late.”
Hwang Yi-Young said she wanted to stay in the car so Woo-Jin and Kang Ho-Soo left her behind and went up to the orthopedic clinic on the second floor. The clinic the staff had found for them was famous for treating arthritis, so Woo-Jin and Kang Ho-Soo saw quite a number of elderly people the moment they had entered the clinic. While Kang Ho-Soo was registering on his behalf, Woo-Jin quietly sat in his chair and waited. His face became a bit serious as the conversation he just had with Hwang Yi-Young lingered on his mind and made him feel depressed and full of remorse.
“Where are you hurting?” an elderly woman asked. Even though his gloomy vibe was making it hard for people to easily approach him, the elderly lady had craned her neck and made eye contact with him. Woo-Jin replied that he had injured himself and showed her his red palm.
“This is a clinic where a lot of people with arthritis come to get treated, so I thought that you had arthritis at such a young age and became concerned. Even though you’re someone else’s child, when I see young people, I think of them as my grandchildren. Oh no, it’s red and swollen! It must be very painful.”
“No, I don’t think I broke any bones, but I came to get it checked out just in case.” Woo-Jin opened and clenched his right fist slowly. Only then did the look of worry in the elderly woman’s eyes dissipate.
“Yeah, you have to see a doctor right away if you get hurt. If you don’t do anything about it, you will suffer when you’re older like me. When I was younger, I was busy every day trying to make a living to feed my children, so I didn’t bother going to the hospital. Now that I’m old, all I have left is a sick body, and my children think I’m annoying,” mumbled the elderly woman, sounding a little dejected. There was also regret in her voice. However, shortly after, she shook her head slightly and smiled at Woo-Jin. Even though she had a lot of wrinkles, she looked very beautiful.
“You know, now that I’m looking at you closely, I see that you’re very good-looking. You look like my grandson.”
“Oh? I thought he looked like my grandson too as soon as I saw him.” An elderly woman, sitting in front of them had been listening to their conversation the entire time. Now, she turned around and looked up and down at the elderly woman who had spoken first. It was a sarcastic remark that seemed to imply it was hard for someone with her genes to produce a descendant that looked as good as him.
“Perhaps your grandson and my grandson look alike. Maybe we have the same ancestors?” However, the first elderly lady must have been broad-minded. She simply smiled and was intrigued by what the other elderly woman said. Woo-Jin, who was stuck in the middle, felt too awkward to say anything. He just smiled awkwardly and nodded.
“But I think I’ve seen your face many times before.”
“I feel the same way. Are you a celebrity? I think I’ve seen you in a drama before.”
The two elderly women talked to Woo-Jin at the same time, curious about who he was.
“I’m an actor, but my drama hasn't aired yet. It’ll be aired on Wednesday and Thursday on SBC in mid-October.” When Woo-Jin seized this opportunity and cleverly promoted his drama, the elderly women said they had expected it and whipped out their phones, wanting to take a photo with Woo-Jin.
“This is my first time seeing a celebrity in person in my entire life. Can we take a photo together? I’m going to show my grandchildren later on and brag about it.”
“I don’t mind taking photos with you, but I’m not that famous, so your grandchildren will be disappointed.”
“So what? I’ll just say that you’re an actor that I like.”
Woo-Jin smiled widely and took a photo with them. He even signed an autograph for them with his injured hand. The elderly people who had been watching them joined in and took photos with him as well, and received his autograph.