Chapter 80 A Repeating History
[First Reincarnation| Life 002| 00:09:59s before death.]
I opened my eyes, but I wasn't in bed; I was standing, tied to a post, and there were people standing all around me. Each of them had looks mixed with fear and disgust.
I felt a pain in my head as I was flooded with memories of my first reincarnation, and I squeezed my eyes closed.
I was strong, and the bonds that held me could have been broken, but I couldn't break them.
I didn't want to.
"Galio, you have been this world's making and undoing. Through your constant force of will, you were able to rid this world of evil that plagued us and was close to bringing us to ruin. In the Trigor's place, you started wars and killed many because of your actions," a man in a suit of armor read to me.
This was Lyle, and at one point, we had been friends, but I had driven him away with my ideals. His people had hated another race of humans, and I had intervened, trying to fix things.
What I had done was start a war that resulted in the death of hundreds of thousands. I had only been doing what I had done in my last life, and it had worked fine then.
"We should be celebrating your victory, but instead, we are all mourning the loss of friends, family, and loved ones. We asked you to stop, but you took it upon yourself to do as you wish. With your mystical powers, we could not stop you, and yet, we are the ones that paid for your actions," Lyle said, staring at me with hateful eyes.
Karla had been killed in a raid from the Handor less than a month ago, and I could see the pain in his eyes like it had just happened yesterday.
This was the result of my overzealousness and refusal to listen to anyone but my own thoughts. I had been so sure that what I was doing was right, but when I realized it, it was already too late.
"I stand here today filled with regret for the pain that I have caused and will take my due. Cast me from this world for my transgressions, and I can only hope that in my next life, I will do better," I said, closing my eyes in defeat as I looked down.
The swing of the sword was the last thing that I heard as it bit into my neck, cleaving my head from my shoulders. But I didn't learn, and this tragic idiocracy seemed to appear in every life I lived.
I walked through my lives, feeling my soul become lead as I watched myself make the same mistakes.
Why was this allowed?
Why did I keep repeating the same thing every time?
Not every life ended in tragedy, and I always completed the mission that was engraved in my mind, but even then, I was always alone. Every life was left with a haunting regret that I could have been better, and now the culmination was eating me up from the inside out.
"Why did you let me do this?!" I screamed as the lives started to speed up, tears flowing as I felt my heart be nearly ripped from my chest.
Then I was in her arms, and we were sitting on a cloud as the tears continued to flow.
"You know that I had no choice; I could only watch you, my love. It tore at my heart to watch you all this time, and I feel even worse for making you relieve the pain again," Tallia said as she stroked my hair.
I was an idiot and a loose cannon with tunnel vision that couldn't see past the things that I needed.
I wiped my eyes and pulled back from Tallia, looking into her rainbow eyes. She was still the most beautiful woman in the world, and I loved her more than anything.
"Thank you for showing me. I was on the path to ruining things again, but I can change with these memories as a reminder," I said, but Tallia shook her head.
"You may not take the memories, but I will leave the feeling with you. There are rules that can't be broken, but that feeling of doing better will haunt you when you start to stray," Tallia explained, and I sighed.
"I don't want to do this again to this world. I really don't belong there," I said, looking off into the endless distance.
"I know that this is hard to take, but this world really does need you, but let the world ask for your help, not the other way around. No one asked you to make every race like each other, but if you can figure out a way to make them less hostile, then great. What I don't want you doing is forcing your ideals on people, even if they are good ones. Strength is not your greatest weapon, nor has it ever been. You are kind and caring, but you rarely ever showed it before now. Don't let that go; these women will all learn to respect and praise you if you let them work with you, not for you," Tallia explained, and I nodded, thinking about Breya.
"I see what you mean, and I was already starting to understand my mistakes, but this makes it clear as glass. I am the one that is acting like a child because I am only seeing what I want to. Is there a reason for this? Why am I so self-destructive?" I asked, looking back at Tallia, but she was looking off in the distance.
"In your first life, a friend that was close to you did something horrible and betrayed you because you refused to follow the mission. He was another reincarnation like you would become, but you killed him for what he did. Your pains and anguish that you screamed out were so intense that I was able to reach out to you. I took all the old pain away, but the cause of it all always stayed with you. Every life, you became consumed by the missions that were given to you. There is a pain that we share, but I refuse to show it to you. I just need you to work on moving past this because I want you to come home to me with a clear conscience," Tallia said and then learned to kiss me.