Chapter 173: Florida Woman Gaslights Local Nun into Worshiping Her Husband Whose Appearance Resembles Jesus
After putting the clothes on, Felix rechecked the system map.
Red and green dots scattered everywhere on the map. Most greens moved together in large groups, while the resistance forces dispersed in every direction.
However, there was one problem. Felix couldn't figure out where these people hid the prisoners of war or captives.
As Felix took a break, he got time to recollect his thoughts. He came here to recruit or snatch some population, not to start another war. He then turned to look at the female paladin.
The woman was still there, standing straight and gulping. Although she wore a helmet with a mask, Felix could see her reddened face from there.
Felix shook his head and walked out of the room full of corpses. He patted the paladin, "I see that you're too inexperienced in men. When everything is over, I'll give you a private lesson later."
Smoke came out from the paladin's helmet. She fell on her knees in embarrassment.
Seeing her reaction, Felix frowned and paused for a moment. He was confused.
<Phrasing, Felix. Are you trying to get a fourth wife or something?> Jessica reminded him what went wrong.
Realizing his mistake. He cleared his throat and coughed, "I mean, I'll hold a public class and teach you virgin clergies about male anatomy and their nature! Don't misunderstand! I didn't mean something lewd."
The paladin flinched. Still, smoke came out from her helmet as she was ashamed of the dirty thoughts.
Felix shook his head and headed out, not wanting to accidentally seduce some innocent maidens.
…
An hour later, the cleanup operation was completed. However, they couldn't locate the captured priestesses and paladins that the elderly priestess had claimed.
While the other paladins still ran amok within the mansion, searching for secret passages, Felix returned to his tank. He consulted Jessica about the system map.
"Say, Jessica. Can the map detect people underground or within an enclosed space?"
<Yes. If they were hiding underground, we would have found them. It seems that they might have been transported elsewhere already or the captives never existed in the first place.>
"I'm leaning toward the latter. What are the chances?"
<We haven't inspected the citadel yet. How about we check that place instead of here.>
"Alright."
Felix got into the tank and prepared to contact Diana. As Felix was about to slip his body into the cockpit, the entire mansion trembled, and the chandeliers on the ceiling fell on top of the tank, but they bounced away upon hitting the reactive barrier dome.
Sensing the vibration, Felix climbed outside and brought his SCAR, preparing for a sudden combat. He glanced at the system map, checking if the enemies launched an ambush.
Aside from green dots, no enemy was within his range. On the other hand, multiple red dots abnormally entered the perimeters as if paratrooper reinforcement had suddenly dropped from the sky and was in the middle of securing the mansion.
Thinking of the reinforcement, Felix thought of Diana.
"Did she use the beacon?"
He rushed out of the mansion and put on a jetpack. Upon leaving the mansion, he took flight and checked the situation from the sky.
As soon as Felix hovered over the mansion, he understood why the entire place shook. In the sky, two crimson spacecraft, larger than a commercial plane, flew around the citadel and fired multiple laser cannons at the building. After unloading its 10th shell, one of the ships opened its rear hatch, revealing its troops within.
They were robots with metal skulls and mechanical bodies, carrying hi-tech bulky rifles. They leaped from the spaceship one after another without a parachute and landed around the citadel. Several dropped directly on top of the building.
*BOOM*
An explosion erupted at the base of the citadel as the machine soldiers started unleashing hell. All pointed their weapons at every local military personnel and pulled the triggers.
Knights and mages within the citadel screamed in fright. Some swung a sword at the nearest killing machine, but their weapon failed to put a dent in the skull frame.
The robot's red eyes stared at the knight while its metal teeth clattered as if it were mocking the man. It lowered the grenade launcher rifle in its arm and pulled out a gray metallic stick. With a flip of a switch, it produced a ray of plasma, transforming the stick into a lightsaber.
The lightsaber hummed upon activation. The robot casually swung its sword at the knight, slicing the man diagonally, and releasing a disgusting sound of plasma cutting through flesh. Then, it deactivated the lightsaber to save energy.
The brave knight's body disintegrated into dust along with his armor.
Similar scenes occurred throughout the battlefield while Felix observed from the sky. His expression turned ugly, not because of the massacre but because of the effectiveness of the beacon.
"God dammit. This is overkill. I should have given her something weaker. What a waste of beacon."
Felix stopped admiring the Terminator troops. He searched for Diana's whereabouts next.
It wasn't hard to find her. Like Felix, she levitated in the sky, hovering over the citadel and observing the effectiveness of the reinforcement from the beacon. Her long tail waved freely as if she was swimming in the air.
Felix flew toward her. As he got close, he called the lamia.
"Diana, did you run into a strong mage or what? Why did you use the beacon?"
Diana crossed her arms and continued to observe the troops without looking back at Felix. She explained, "I caught a foul odor of a necromancer in that castle. Since I don't like getting hit by a random curse or a zombie virus, I just use your beacon and have them do the job for me."
"…"
It was understandable. Felix also didn't want to get cursed or hit by something complicated, especially if it was related to a nasty disease.
Felix changed the topic, "Have you found the captives, slaves, or whatever prisoners that they are hiding?"
Diana shifted her gaze to the north. She pointed outside the city, "I saw a large group of caravan moving north. I thought they were merchants or migrating civilians of the city, so I didn't stop them. But I did spot a few slaves trailing behind the caravan."
"They must have already moved the prisoners before or during the commotion. Anyway, watch over this place for me. I'll go after them."
"Wait, what do you want me to tell those nuns when everything is over? Aren't we here to grab some slaves to fill the population? What are we doing here?"
Felix paused and turned around. He deeply frowned and stared at the disorganized paladins and the priestesses around the cathedral. Coming up with a plan, he landed in front of the church and gestured for Diana to come over. The Lamia Queen landed behind her husband, wondering what he was doing.
Being decisive, Felix unloaded a military truck outside. He patted the back and showed Diana, "Can you transform into a human and order these useless nuns to hop on? We'll kidnap them to our land and force them to work for us. How about it?"
Diana mischievously smirked, "That's… a very good idea. That will do, but we might need to take a few trips. One truck can't load them all."
"It doesn't matter. If we get some on board, the others will follow. I'll leave it to you."
"Leave it to me, darling."
Diana kissed Felix's cheek and cast a spell on herself. The long thick snake tail shrank and formed two human legs. Diana's height dropped an inch. When everything was over, Diana transformed into a 5'10" sexy woman.
Felix tossed the truck key to Diana, who caught it without looking. He then activated his jetpack, flying north.
…
After Felix was gone, Diana opened her system inventory, pulled out a skirt, and put it on, covering her lower body part. She then walked toward the elder priestess to inform Felix's migration plan.
As everything happened so fast and Felix didn't clarify his goals properly, she wondered what she should do to convince the priestesses, who hated Lamia, to migrate to the flying island.
While Diana was in deep thought, Jessica's portrait window popped up next to her and gave her some advice.
<How about you tell them about Felix's ancestor?>
"His ancestor?" Diana's interest was piqued. "Who is his ancestor?"
<He is the true emperor of the universe and all dimensions, the transcendent being, the ultimate chad, the true god, the God King, the father of all phoenixes, the father of alchemy, the governor of fate, the…>
"Stop, stop, stop!" Diana broke a sweat, "Not too many titles, please. Summarize it for me."
<In short, your goddess, Zhu Qiao, married one of the ancestor's creations. In short, he's a big shot.>
Diana's eyes gleamed as she didn't like Zhu Qiao, her Lamia Family Tree's ancestor. She wondered if Felix's ancestor could protect her from Zhu Qiao's influence.
"Tell me more, please."
<We don't have much time. Go talk to the head nun and tell them a story about the ancestor. I'll help you with the details.>
"Alright."
Getting inspired, Diana confidently approached the elder priestess, who guided them to the mansion earlier. She walked toward the elder and called her.
"Girly… I mean, ma'am. Can I talk to you for a second?"
The elder priestess, who had just returned from the mansion, looked at Diana in shock.
"W-Wasn't you a monster?" She was confused.
Diana giggled and explained, "Yes, I was the monster. But listen to me, if you're really the servant of Goddess Eleanor, I bet you can't decline my offer."
"…Your offer?"
"If I say, my husband, the man that rescued you earlier, is an almighty agent from Heaven, will you believe me?"
"W-What?"
Diana mischievously smiled. As it wasn't her first time dealing with the priestesses from the Eleanor Church, she knew how brainwashed they were. In addition, Diana had already learned about Felix's system perks, the system shop, and his quest, she used them as a foundation of her 'Scam'.
She narrated a fake story.
"I'll tell you a story. Long, long ago, there was an almighty being. His name was…"
Diana glanced at Jessica's window, waiting for her information.
<His name was Florida Man. He was the first transcendent being who unified the transcendent realm and our universe.>
"Ah, yes." Diana raised an eyebrow, catching the hint. She cleared her throat and continued, "His name was Florida Man. He was the first god who created the universe…"
The story strayed from the original, but Jessica kept feeding Diana information for fun. They widely grinned, anticipating to see the priestess's reactions.
They wondered if they could brainwash these clergies.